Monkey's Dad's definitions

frogmentation

Vocal breakdown from an entire day on the phone.

By six-thirty, her voice was a fractured, abrasive croak, her daily frogmentation from nine straight hours of phone sessions.

by Monkey's Dad April 17, 2020

Covivid dreams

While asleep, fully experiencing the life we miss, during the covid-19 pandemic.

In the sunlight, he was walking freely among other people, everyone smiling at each other, holding hands. A woman approached him, oh my God, she was so beautiful, and she looked into his eyes and kissed him. - These were his Covivid dreams, every night, and he found them thrilling.

by Monkey's Dad April 23, 2020

front seat fracas

Self-contained road rage - the fight a couple has while driving, neither looking at the other, on a trip one of them really did not want to take.

She demanded to turn around and go home. He was determined to get to the guns and ammo exposition. It could only end in a massive front seat fracas.

by Monkey's Dad March 8, 2020

It's Not Easy Being Greene

Marjorie Taylor's lament and no doubt her future campaign theme song, in what's sure to be a groundbreaking presidential bid.

To anyone who thought she effortlessly nailed the Gazpacho Police stalking the halls of congress, compared mask mandates to the Holocaust, or informed the citizenry of the United States that America was officially a Christian Nationalist country, Marjorie, capitalizing on her uncanny resemblance to Miss Piggy, lured Kermit into harmonizing with her as they sang "It's not easy being Greene".

by Monkey's Dad July 29, 2022

quorumtine

The minimum number of quarantined, work-from-home members that must be logged into an online video meeting to make the proceedings valid.

As the Zoom leader waited for the tenth member to sign in, unable to begin until the meeting had a quorumtine, she wondered whether they would ever see each other again in the real world.

by Monkey's Dad April 2, 2020

Pussword

When every one of your passwords is the name of your cat.

She carefully typed it in. F-L-U-F-F-Y, her all-time favorite pussword, which nobody would ever guess.

by Monkey's Dad September 15, 2021

vaxxophobe

Someone with an irrational fear of the COVID-19 vaccine.

"If I die, I die", she said. "I'm not letting anyone convince me to get that shot". And no one convinced her, and she went maskless to her early grave, a proud vaxxophobe, and an example of how America had been made "great again".

by Monkey's Dad July 25, 2021