Saint Nicholas' sinister colleague, whose task is to deliver appropriate gifts to the less-than-good girls and boys on Christmas eve.
He awakened to the sound of a Harley landing on the roof - right on time - and man, had he prepared his list in hopes of a visit from Satan Nicholas. In an hour he'd run downstairs and find a Chucky doll, gift certificates to Tattoos-R-Us, the Vape store, and Murder-and-Mayhem Video Games. It pays to be bad, he mused. And next year he'd be worse.
by Monkey's Dad December 06, 2023
That special waitress who approaches your table - clearly wishing you would die during her shift - and asks "How is everything?"
by Monkey's Dad February 28, 2023
By the year 2050, the sole remaining word in spoken English - a language once said to comprise 171,476 words, in a mode of communication once ubiquitous, then common, then, like, whatever. It was deemed, like, for real? and finally supplanted by enthusiastically written English, ie: texted abbreviations and emojis.
He was, like, 2050? and I'm like, what? and he went, like, the, like, single, like, remaining word in, like, whoa, and I'm, like, whatever
by Monkey's Dad October 13, 2019
Calling Covid-19 "The Chinese Virus", Fox News sparked Sinovidphobia, resulting in a spate of random hate crimes against Chinese-Americans.
by Monkey's Dad March 27, 2020
The suggestion that you need to wash your hands, and wash them again, specifically with a product that no longer exists, until you become insane with anxiety.
She had scrubbed and scoured her fingers and palms until they were raw, her bottles had all been emptied, and she was on the edge of crazy, needing to find more hand insanitizer.
by Monkey's Dad March 21, 2020
A dishonest, untrustworthy person's first, seemingly innocuous gesture that should have tipped you off as to their character.
It was many years later, after he had left her for her best friend, that she realized - his stiffing the waiter on their first date was a snake preview.
by Monkey's Dad April 09, 2020
The conservative justices might have noted that 'voting fraud', which several states claim they are trying to prevent, is essentially nonexistent. As one federal judge put it, such laws are akin to using “a sledgehammer to hit an imaginary fly on a glass coffee table.”
by Monkey's Dad July 02, 2021