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Definitions by Monkey's Dad

Whoa!lmart 

The American nexus of strange Covid-related behavior.
People assaulting each other over mask wearing. Spitting in the faces of cashiers. A man approaching shoppers, giving them an aggressive hug and announcing "Now you have Covid". All that and more can be seen at your local Whoa!lmart.
Whoa!lmart by Monkey's Dad August 23, 2020

mail sorting machines 

Vital to the functioning of the United States Postal Service.
By late August, as America geared up for voting-by-mail in the November presidential election, countless mail sorting machines had been not only removed from Post Offices across the country, they had been destroyed.

Anti-Mask League 

An organization of Americans opposed to wearing masks during the 1918 Flu Pandemic, which killed 50 million people.
"The 'Anti-Mask League' protest in San Francisco was an orderly protest compared to people fighting in Walmarts today," said Dr. Howard Markel, a medical historian and a physician who leads the Center for the History of Medicine at the University of Michigan. "Today, the anti-mask sentiment has a virulence and violence of its own that we didn't see back then."
Anti-Mask League by Monkey's Dad August 16, 2020

#tags? #what tags?

The tags which mysteriously no longer appear under definitions and usage, on Urban Dictionary entries.
He looked at his hundreds of long-standing definitions. "Where are my tags?" he asked. #tags? #what tags? he answered himself. "There were never any tags on Urban Dictionary. You must have been dreaming."

appandectomy 

The surgical removal of all traces and knowledge of a pandemic, allowing the patient to move freely about, without mask, without distancing, without concern for the safety of others.
That guy walking right up to you, coughing and passing you by an inch? He's had an appandectomy, with nothing left for him to worry about, except the tilt of his 'make America great again' hat.
appandectomy by Monkey's Dad July 29, 2020

anticovidepressant 

The magic pill many wish they could take to snap out of the endless torpor of the pandemic.
"If there's no vaccine, the least they could do is market an anticovidepressant. I mean, Jesus, how much freakin' longer is this going to drag on?" she thought, almost unable to remember her fun-loving, free-spirited, hopeful and joyful self.

Keep Portland Weird 

The long-standing slogan of Portland, Oregon, at present ground zero in the new world of American Fascism.
"Be careful what you wish for", he thought, passing the downtown mural that said 'Keep Portland Weird'. Hours earlier, he had been grabbed by heavily-armed, camo-clad paramilitary, thrown into an unmarked van, blindfolded, sped away, dragged into a building, interrogated, and much later dumped back on the street. Portland was getting weird in ways that no one could have imagined.