Mike Payne's definitions

goat rental

Leasing a goat for a giving period of time for the purpose of clearing an area of land.

The manager at the goat rental store suspected that Jason was lying about his rental goat running away when she saw the barbecue sauce stains all over his shirt.

by Mike Payne March 24, 2008

tuna smuggler

A man that has not showered in over three days.

After a weekend of moving fishtanks, hunting goats, and breaking deaf girls hearts, Jason turned into quite the tuna smuggler.

by Mike Payne March 11, 2008

switch

The word that is yelled when 2 guys are double-teaming a girl and they decide to change places.

When Jason and Joey got bored with Connie, they gave each other a hive five and yelled "Switch!"

by Mike Payne March 6, 2008

deer dents

Scratches and dents that appear on a car after driving through a wooded area without concern for wildlife.

While driving through the woods with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other, Jason felt a bump and hoped that his insurance covered deer dents.

by Mike Payne May 16, 2008

cushion burner

When a woman is so bitchy you want to smash her face in the couch cushion and press as hard as you can while slam fucking her in the ass as hard as possible

When Sandra gave Jason the cold shoulder, he knew she was definitely a cushion burner.

by Mike Payne June 11, 2008

marketing tacos

When a girl walks around with the zipper of her pants pulled down. This is the female equivalent of selling hotdogs.

Ania didn't know why Jason kept staring at her pants until she looked down and realized that she was marketing tacos.

by Mike Payne March 24, 2008

old squeaker

A highly-potent, silent-but-deadly fart that is allowed to escape in the workplace.

We thought Laurie's face was bright red because she had been fake-tanning again. However, upon stepping out into the front of the office it was apparent that Jason delivered another old squeaker.

by Mike Payne May 2, 2008