Mike Payne's definitions

banana hammer

When a dude carries around a hammer in his pocket to give the impression that he has a perpetual erection.

When Jason pulled out his banana hammer, all Zee could say was "Wowwwww".

by Mike Payne March 5, 2008

emo

emo kids have long hair that cover their eye and face. they wear thick eye liner because they think it makes them look dark and deep. They wear disgustingly tight clothing because emo is one step below transvestite. Emo kids listen to emo music, in which the singer bitches about his shitty life and lost love, and they play the same shitty guitar chord progressions in every single song. emo kids are total and complete flaming homosexuals like the famous butt fucker mike payne. Nobody ever moves or dances at an emo show, they just stand on their and observe. emo kids have no real problems in life but they love to pretend like they do. they sit in the dark all day and cut themselves and then cry themselves to sleep at night. Nobody likes emo kids becuase they are incredibly annoying and they are complete faggots who have no soul and dont deserve to live.

look at those tight jeans and gay hair... that kid is so emo.

by mike payne July 30, 2008

marketing tacos

When a girl walks around with the zipper of her pants pulled down. This is the female equivalent of selling hotdogs.

Ania didn't know why Jason kept staring at her pants until she looked down and realized that she was marketing tacos.

by Mike Payne March 24, 2008

switch

The word that is yelled when 2 guys are double-teaming a girl and they decide to change places.

When Jason and Joey got bored with Connie, they gave each other a hive five and yelled "Switch!"

by Mike Payne March 6, 2008

turkey baster baby

A child produced through artificial insemination.

After days of his wife's pleading to have another child so McGruff would have someone to play with, Jason grabbed a 30-pack out of the fridge, picked up the keys to his tractor, and told his wife to go get a turkey baster baby.

by Mike Payne April 3, 2008

womb socket

Slang term for vagina.

Jason pulled over and offered to help a woman whose car broke down. After staring down her shirt the whole time she was checking the oil, he said "It looks like there's a problem with your womb socket. I ain't no mechanic, but I'd sure be happy to take a look."

by Mike Payne May 5, 2008

fermitate

The redneck method for making any type of wine, beer, or liquor.

Jason had to stop at a convenient store on his way to work to pick up some roadies because his wife dumped the beer out of his thermos and his homemade wine didn't fermitate yet.

by Mike Payne July 27, 2008