Michael Zeleny's definitions

Fertiloser

A chronic loser with an extra short life expectancy.

Hamas is breeding generations of fertilosers to enrich the soil of Palestine.

by Michael Zeleny June 16, 2024

lit-critter

A term of disparagement applied to a literary critic, implying the character traits of an overeducated shithead. Usually tarred with the postmodern brush as "pomo lit-critter".

"Dang! We are beset by lit-critters! Let loose toxic sarcasm!"

"Bill Clinton did his turn as a pomo lit-critter by testifying on the ambiguity of the word 'is'."

by Michael Zeleny December 19, 2006

nakkin

A skirt patterened after the blue & white checkered napkin material favored by the lady on the "Aunt Jemima" Pancake Box.

THING-FISH:
(pointing to his skirt)
(Fo' those of you unfamiliar wit de' nakkin,
Dis be de nakkin'!)
Frank Zappa, Thing-Fish

by Michael Zeleny February 11, 2004

shart

Anal counterpart to a French kiss.

Monsieur Raggou: Who can see my shart? Here be my doublet come close, my coat come over all dat, den who de devil see my shart? For vat sall me have a shart, when nobody see my shart?
--John Lacy, The Old Troop, before 1665

by Michael Zeleny June 23, 2008

S.W.I.S.S.

Salesmen's motivational acronym for "Sell What's In Stock, Stupid".

Boards bearing the logo S.W.I.S.S. can be found in the back rooms of Verizon stores across the U.S.A.

by Michael Zeleny January 26, 2008

zentai

A tightly fitting, brightly-colored bodysuit of Japanese fetish origin, which extends from the top of the head to the fingertips and toes.

Bernie's menopausal fuckbuddy covers her turkey neck with a Zentai Lycra outfit.

by Michael Zeleny February 11, 2004

walking spanish

Ambulatory locomotion of the recipient of the bum's rush, involuntarily emulating a Flamenco dancer by dint of being simultaneously propelled forward and elevated at the seat of one's pants with one hand, and the scruff of one's neck with another. The expression recalls the supposed "custom of pirates, in the Spanish Main, of forcing prisoners wo walk while holding them by the neck so that their toes barely touched the deck." (Robert L. Chapman)

...and every Thursday night the hotel has a bloody cabaret in the bar, featuring a tiny emaciated dago with nine-inch hips and some bloated fat tart with her hair brylcreemed down and a big arse presenting Flamenco for Foreigners.
-- Monty Python's Flying Circus

by Michael Zeleny February 11, 2004