Michael Gannett's definitions

credit card

n. euphemism referring to any object or tactic that facilitates the acquisition of cash or material goods through illegal acts such as intimidation, armed robbery, fraud, etc.

Duwan walked down to the convenience store with his pit bull, and picked up a six pack, saying to the clerk, "Well, damn, I forgot my wallet, but I did bring my credit card," as the pit bull barked at the clerk.

Joey laid his Smith on the counter, saying, "Give me a cash advance against my credit card, and I won't blow your nuts off."

by Michael Gannett April 4, 2006

sonic boom

n. a fart that displaces a large amount of fresh air, causing a sudden barometric spike that flutters the eardrums, one that hits your nose quicker than your ears

Shock waves rippled back through Ryan's face, like a guy on multi-g force rocket sled ride, as Jonathan loosed a sonic boom that made the windows rattle.

by Michael Gannett February 16, 2006

suitcase

n. a potential lawsuit or case for litigation, in common use among the urban population of Baltimore

When a city bus containing 3 riders collided with another vehicle, the occupants lowered the windows and shouted to standers by, "C'mon and get in here - we got us a suitcase!"

I got my suitcase, and I'm coming to live at your house. (see own your house)

by Michael Gannett April 4, 2006

back to the drawing board

starting over, examining one's failed plans and beginning anew

After the Palestinian elections in 2006, is George Bush saying "Mission Accomplished" or "back to the drawing board?"

by Michael Gannett February 22, 2006

Baltimoron

1 - n. the regional dialect of Baltimore, Maryland, in which syllables are often dropped and multiple words contracted into indistinct, mumbled phrases.
2 - n. persons speaking the regional dialect of Baltimore, Maryland. (affectionate term, used with respect)

1 - Baltimorons commonly call all members of the opposite sex "Hon," short for "honey."
2 - "Gone downy o-shun" is the phrase used to describe "Going down to the ocean (Ocean City)" for a vacation.
3 - "Wayoo ain calmee" is the urban Baltimore equivalent of "Why haven't you called me lately?"

by Michael Gannett February 16, 2006

poofer

n. a fart, especially a short, sharp, small fart making little or no noise, generally a feminine kind of fart with little volumetric displacement or effect on the barometric pressure of the surroundings, the opposite of a sonic boom

Delicate Patty pretended to not even notice, let alone reveal, that a tiny, odorless poofer had escaped her exquisite bung hole like a subtle sigh.

by Michael Gannett February 15, 2006

own your house

v. literally equating to "win a lawsuit against you."

A threatening phrase that condenses a situation to it's final proposed outcome that "I will sue you and win, thereby stripping you of your property." Variants would include living in (someone's) house.

See suitcase

1 - If you touch me again, I'm gonna own your house.
2 - You better watch what you say, or I'm going to own your house.
3 - If your malpractice insurance hadn't taken compensated the victim, she would own your house.

by Michael Gannett February 22, 2006