Definitions by Metallicajunkie

News

The go to TV show if you want to hear about all the horrible stuff that happened throughout the world during the day
On VERY RARE occasions, they'll air something positive

Research shows that the news is now a leading cause of depression

News by Metallicajunkie October 4, 2018

Float Away 

A term used by parents to tell their children not to drink a lot of fluid before going to bed, so they don't piss themselves in their sleep

Remember Billy, don't drink all that juice before bed, you'll float away if you do

Float Away by Metallicajunkie October 4, 2018

Bimble 

A combination of the words "big" and "nimble", usually used to describe a person who is rather large, but is still light on their feet to an impressive degree, most of time it involves said bimble dancing

Wow, Mark's 300 pounds, yet he can outdance anyone! He's a real bimble!

Bimble by Metallicajunkie October 4, 2018

Lawsuit 

It's what people recommend you wear if you're a lawyer, or you have a court date

I have to meet a client in 30 minutes, where'd I put my lawsuit?

Lawsuit by Metallicajunkie October 4, 2018

Joe Kenda 

Totally awesome guy from the Investigation Discovery show Homicide Hunter. Joe is a former Colorado Springs police detective who has managed to solve over 400 homicides throughout his career, before retiring in the mid 90's. Joe's great to listen to, because when recanting the cases he's solved, he doesn't add any extra fluff, and tells you like it is, short sweet and to the point.

I'm Detective Joe Kenda, I've solved over 400 homicides, if you kill.....I WILL find you....

Joe Kenda by Metallicajunkie October 4, 2018

Jack-O-Lantern

An iconic symbol of Halloween that 9 times out of 10, ends up smashed in your driveway by a group of assholes before the night is over

Me: Did you see the jack-o-lantern I carved, I did a great job on it!
Friend: Yeah, I did see it, it's all over the driveway in front of your car
Me: GOD DAMMIT!!

Jack-O-Lantern by Metallicajunkie October 4, 2018

Butt Mustard

Another way to describe the shit that comes out of a baby, it gets it's name from the color and consistency

You have to change little Johnny this time, I had to deal with his butt mustard last time!

Butt Mustard by Metallicajunkie October 4, 2018