Max Biggins's definitions
by Max Biggins September 30, 2016
Get the Dense Breast mug.Dave; So what is it?
Dr Parenthesis: I think it's likely to be a hybrid creature - a chimaera - part hipster, part emo - a scenester in all but name.. a hipster emo
Dave: How about hipstemo?
Dr Parenthesis: No, too close to epistemology.
Dr Parenthesis: I think it's likely to be a hybrid creature - a chimaera - part hipster, part emo - a scenester in all but name.. a hipster emo
Dave: How about hipstemo?
Dr Parenthesis: No, too close to epistemology.
by Max Biggins September 30, 2016
Get the hipster emo mug.A town on the south coast of England that is slowly succumbing to a tide of destitution and urban decay, which is unsual for a town of Bognor's size and location.
Visitors can try drinking in the Wetherspoons before being stabbed, get a celtic band or tribal at the various tattoo parlours, sample processed ham from the discount stores and even try their luck at a bingo hall and job centre.
You can test your local knowledge at a pub quiz on the sea front, where teams of pub employees join in to answer questions about their own pub, and you can witness first hand the summer spectacular of northerners beating up the red coats at Butlins then fighting with eastern europeans over the stuffed macaque they won in the Doner meat-eating contest.
There are retail parks featuring Matalan, Burger King and skulking coal-eyed chavs who only speak in vowels, and some lovely cashpoints at which to have your card cloned, or ripped from your hands by the feral children of a chain-smoking, morbidly obese Jabba with a wispy moustache.
You may also find yourself disorientated by a sudden burst of slavic languages from everyone around you, but this is a reflection of Bognor's multicultural diversity of poor white English and poor white Polish.
Bognor became famous for an appearance in the last episode of Wish You Were Here, in which Judith Chalmers was stalked by a family of Wendigo-people then dismembered and devoured. It was only ever aired on UKTV Gold.
Visitors can try drinking in the Wetherspoons before being stabbed, get a celtic band or tribal at the various tattoo parlours, sample processed ham from the discount stores and even try their luck at a bingo hall and job centre.
You can test your local knowledge at a pub quiz on the sea front, where teams of pub employees join in to answer questions about their own pub, and you can witness first hand the summer spectacular of northerners beating up the red coats at Butlins then fighting with eastern europeans over the stuffed macaque they won in the Doner meat-eating contest.
There are retail parks featuring Matalan, Burger King and skulking coal-eyed chavs who only speak in vowels, and some lovely cashpoints at which to have your card cloned, or ripped from your hands by the feral children of a chain-smoking, morbidly obese Jabba with a wispy moustache.
You may also find yourself disorientated by a sudden burst of slavic languages from everyone around you, but this is a reflection of Bognor's multicultural diversity of poor white English and poor white Polish.
Bognor became famous for an appearance in the last episode of Wish You Were Here, in which Judith Chalmers was stalked by a family of Wendigo-people then dismembered and devoured. It was only ever aired on UKTV Gold.
Geoffrey Palmer: I once won an episode of Catchphrase, and Roy Walker gave me the choice of Bognor Regis or Chernobyl, which was still glowing at the time.
Christopher Timothy: I assume you went with Bognor?
Geoffrey Palmer: Only after I was absolutely convinced Chernobyl was utterly irradiated and swimming with mutants. As it turned out, Bognor wasn't quite as irradiated, but had a higher mutant count. Swings and roundabouts.
Christopher Timothy: I assume you went with Bognor?
Geoffrey Palmer: Only after I was absolutely convinced Chernobyl was utterly irradiated and swimming with mutants. As it turned out, Bognor wasn't quite as irradiated, but had a higher mutant count. Swings and roundabouts.
by Max Biggins November 1, 2012
Get the Bognor Regis mug.Not quite midgets, not just short, but arrestingly diminutive (5' -5'5''). alternatively funny/ pathetic when confronted with a tall girl (above 5'8'') in a bar or club.
Frequenters of chain pubs and bars in provinical and coastal city centres.
Frequenters of chain pubs and bars in provinical and coastal city centres.
Sindy: Hey, Babs, look at that little bloke with the popped collar chatting up your sister.
Barbie : he's having trouble looking her in the eye. wait, they're coming over.
Sindy: Don't stand up or you'll make him feel like a right Short Arse.
Barbie : he's having trouble looking her in the eye. wait, they're coming over.
Sindy: Don't stand up or you'll make him feel like a right Short Arse.
by Max Biggins November 18, 2012
Get the Short Arse mug.The pleasantly fishy emanations from the vulva of a well-endowed blonde slut in heat that cause olfactory delight and the involuntary twitching of the bishop's eyebrows.
'Barnabus, a most appetising fish course wafts through from the pantry. May I enquire as to what fruit of the sea we might feast upon this evening?'
'There's no fish course, it's just my playful niece Lucy's slut-stink. Most invigorating. More wine, Tristian?'
'There's no fish course, it's just my playful niece Lucy's slut-stink. Most invigorating. More wine, Tristian?'
by Max Biggins August 3, 2012
Get the Slut-stink mug.'Geoffrey, I hear the Royal Society held a capital soiree, with the most exquisite selection of cunt. Not too pungent, or sloppy.'
'Indeed, Cavendish. The blonde niece of Barnabus was a particularly delectable morsel; tidy, clipped and with a dash of salty haddock. Father Roland almost wept.'
'Indeed, Cavendish. The blonde niece of Barnabus was a particularly delectable morsel; tidy, clipped and with a dash of salty haddock. Father Roland almost wept.'
by Max Biggins August 3, 2012
Get the Cunt mug.A good-looking young woman, usually blonde with large breasts, who pretends she doesn't want to be tickled, but makes sure her breasts wobble invitingly and her gusset ripens when she is.
'I say Barnabus, your niece Lucy seems unusually reluctant to let me ruffle the duster around her decolletage and gusset this afternoon.'
'Mock-protests of a ticklish slut, archdeacon Merryweather. Persist and you will be rewarded by squeals of joy, although you may try using the octopus from my study. Won't you have a sherry before your next attempt?'
'Mock-protests of a ticklish slut, archdeacon Merryweather. Persist and you will be rewarded by squeals of joy, although you may try using the octopus from my study. Won't you have a sherry before your next attempt?'
by Max Biggins August 3, 2012
Get the Ticklish Slut mug.