Mattyboyee's definitions

clam chowder

Term describing cheese like funk found about the labia (pussy lips) and vulva (pussy) of a chick a.k.a. campbell crotch... not mm mm good...

I was about to lick that shit until I saw she had a bad case of clam chowder.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

milking the cobra

The unaired episode of Animal Planet featuring a well hung man squeezing the white venom out of his pet pocket cobra. A term usually defining the process of stimulating a cobra's fangs to produce venom in the hope of deriving an anti-venum. Milking the cobra aside from reptiles and solo wanking can also be achieved with a partner preferably with the opposite sex, but to each their own.

Last night I blinded me Julie when she was milking the cobra. He was angry and spat in her eye. She is in guarded, but stable condition.

by Mattyboyee February 14, 2006

Lowes before Hos

When a man prefers the company of his tools, hotrod upgrades or home improvement projects over the company of women.

Hey honey, do you want to the mall? Nah, I gotta date with a case o' beer and my car upgrades. These aren't going to install themselves. You're always under you car! When are you going to spend time with me? Lowes before hos baby... Lowes before hos.

by mattyboyee January 18, 2009

sadie rotten crotch

Term used to describe the state of crotch chafing. Abrasions on thighs and groin caused by sand from a beach, rough clothing material, and fat legs on a long walk. Not unlike sand in the vagina or grit-nuts and sandpaper crack.

Dude, I've got the worse case of sadie rotten crotch, I'm walkin' like I just got off of cross country horse-back ride.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

bowl clogger

A montrous defication of explosive bull ass proportions that binds the bowl up and prevents flushing. Not to be confused with a bowl cracker which is a dense and solid shit that fractures the porcelain.

I had to call roto-rooter again because I launched another bowl clogger.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

Loo Lipton

The dark brown delight launched from one's corn eye during a diarrhea explosion. Mad squirts that turn the formerly clear toilet water brown. In New England if you have the shits it's known as the Boston Tea Party. Loo Lipton or Bowl Tea can often be spotted in public restrooms such as Gas Stations, Truck Stops, Waffle Houses, IHOPs and Denny's. Unflushed Toilet Tetly and the tea bags Ass Paper TP, etc. make for an uninviting bowl. Undoubtedly caused by crappy food from an even crappier restaurant by a real douche that doesn't know how to flush.

I went to use the shitter, but somebody left some Loo Lipton, an always wonderful surprise. Assholes need to learn how to flush.

by Mattyboyee February 19, 2009

Toilet Tetley

The dark brown delight launched from one's corn eye during a diarrhea explosion. Mad squirts that turn the formerly clear toilet water brown. In New England if you have the shits it's known as the Boston Tea Party. Toilet Tetley or Bowl Tea can often be spotted in public restrooms such as Gas Stations, Truck Stops, Waffle Houses, IHOPs and Denny's. Unflushed Toilet Tetly and the tea bags Ass Paper TP, etc. make for an uninviting bowl. Undoubtedly caused by crappy food from an even crappier restaurant by a real douche that doesn't know how to flush.

I went to use the shitter, but somebody left some Toilet Tetley, an always wonderful surprise. Assholes need to learn how to flush.

by Mattyboyee February 18, 2009