Mattyboyee's definitions

barking spider

See chocolate starfish: Term used to describe the shit eye, brown eye, bunghole, ass hole, etc. Resembles a spider when the tissue is crinkled as seen on a woman and barks when she farts.

Her pussy tasted like shit, so he stuffed his tongue in her barking spider.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

Naughty

Slang term to describe a woman's innocence that is only skin deep. See naughty librarian. Naughty can be used to decribed a chick that is hot as fuck. Credit goes to C. Geer for this definition since he thinks I always steal his ideas.

Dayamn!! Did you see the tits & ass on that chick? NAUGHTY!!!! Julie looks like a naughty librarian when she wears her glasses; thus, she is fine as bizalls brizuther.

by Mattyboyee June 2, 2003

Baby Chute Beer Bong

Drinking game stunt when after everyone is naked typically from strip poker or strip quarters.

Step one: Remove cap from a cold long neck beer..

Step two: Apply thumb to opening of bottle and shake vigorously.

Step three: In one fail swoop insert thumb covered end of volatile tastey beverage into participants vagina...

Step four: When the baby chute is full of the golden nectar shove face between legs of female making sure to guzzle the beer from the cooch.

Optional: Hold your breath for a bigger buzz as you thrash the girls clit for being a good sport. If you can make her cum before you pass out you're a FUCKING GOD amongst muffin mackers...

Remember to drink responsibly, makes sure you don't spill a drop of beer (alcohol abuse) or penalties will ensue...

CHEERS!

We got trashed last night! when the body shots got boring, me and the bros had baby chute beer bongs from these gracious chicks. Good times!

by mattyboyee March 29, 2009

Filter fucked

1. When one is so wasted that their filter (liver and kidneys) are in fact fucked. Persistent states of filter fucked can result in Keith Richards like bodily function or the lack thereof bearing the need for dialysis.

2. When you have embibed so much alcohol that you light the wrong end of your cigarette.

3. When the filter between your brain and your mouth fails to function.

1. I got so filter fucked last night I woke up yellow and my pee stunk like burnt coffee.

2. Filter fuck ME! Gimme another cigarette...

3. Sorry babe, didn't mean to say that Taylor Swift would be worth going to jail for, my filter's fucked.

by Mattyboyee June 29, 2008

jodge

Slang term for penis started in the south-wester US.

I bludgened her about the ass, neck, and genitalia with my hot beefy jodge.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003

Orificetra

A flatulently melodic group of people creating music with their orifices. The most impressive pieces of music are created by the corn eye by drinking brews and having eggs for breakfast. Nothing is more potent than beer farts combined with the forces of egg farts. Use of a clothespin or gas mask may be necessary when enduring a live performance of an orificetra.

All us back in Geek Squad had mad swamp ass from that air conditioner being broken and gas from drinkin beer the night before, we were all tooting from our fart boxes creating music as an Orificetra. We played the brown note sonata which was finished by a solo from the Schocker in high notes from his well tuned corn flute.

by Mattyboyee January 8, 2008

crab salad

Chowing the pootang of a dirty slut with crabs. Lice in the snatch. Crotch critter cafe. Eating at Smells diner. Varment in the cock compartment.

The unsuspecting cunilinguist tossed the whore's crab salad and thought the pests in his teeth was crushed pepper from dinner.

by Mattyboyee May 28, 2003