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The reason I haven't heard from my girlfriend in a month.
Friend: Hey, where's Susan?

Me: I got cock-blocked by Skyrim again...
by Mausie January 02, 2014
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1. The greatest game in the history of mankind.
2. The most effective form of birth control to have ever been invented, the effects of which reportedly last around 300 hours.
3. An anti-depressant
4. An anti-social-life (I regret nothing)
If you want to keep your kids abstinent, give them a good computer and Skyrim. They will never leave their bedrooms again (for alternatives, see Oblivion and Morrowind).
by whattheheckisapseudonym? February 16, 2012
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The funnest, best game in the history of the universe! Dragons, Dovahkiin, ladies with huge boobs, blood, skulls, moutains, armor, evil gods, 100s of missions, assassins, war, adventure, cliffs, death, undead, magic, college, marriage, FOOD, chickens, ghost horse, shouting, stores, getting drunk, getting high, decapitation, waterfalls, hidden treasure, ships, kings, queens, brides, dream worlds, flying skeletons, staffs and MUCH, MUCH MORE! its worth 60 bucks of the legendary edition! say goodbye to the sunshine because you wont be seeing it anytime soon while your at it, also say goodbye to your girlfriend/boyfriend, mom and dad, and your social life because that`s going, too! Bethesda Games has outdone themselves once again!
Marcy: I haven`t seen James lately...is he okay?
Tina: well, i cant say no...hes addicted to this new z-cube game or something called Skyrim.
Marcy: mother of god, bless his soul.
by smoshskyrimsoph July 23, 2013
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A highly effective form of birth control made public on Nov. 11, 2011. Despite its recent release, it is believed to be incredibly effective for periods lasting a week to 2 months once administered. Pharmaceutical company Bethesda is currently working on supplements to accompany this drug but no release dates have been set yet.

As it is still a new product its long-term effects have yet to be determined, though it is believed to not be as potent as WoW or other substances within the MMO class of drugs.

The FDA warns that this is a Schedule II drug, indicating a very high chance of addiction if not carefully monitored and regulated. Symptoms of overdose and addiction include loss of appetite, insomnia, sudden weight gain or loss, dimensia, a constant desire for more dragon souls, and the singing of Harry Partridge's associated songs.
Billy and Cathy haven't had sex since Skyrim came out because one of them is playing it at any given moment.
by Matt..... November 16, 2011
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Skyrim is a dangerous virus that is discovered in 11-11-11 in Bethesda, US. The virus is actually an antibiotic created in bethesda Games Studios. It is supposed to treat the oblivion and morrowind disease, BUT apparently the antibiotics turned into a VIRUS that will infect 10million people in the US and millions more outside.

Getting the virus: The virus is spread through mouth, ear, internet, your mom/dad/sis/brother/aunt etc who has the oblivion or morrowind disease.

Initial contact with the virus: The person will spend 12 hours on the internet watching skyrim videos and topics.
1 hour later: The disease will get him/her
Initial contact with the virus: The person will spend 12 hours on the internet watching skyrim videos and topics.
1 hour later: The disease will get him/her

Effects:
1.Boner
2.Lesser couples, due to breakups because of skyrim disease
3.lesser babies born, due to lesser couples
4.students start failing at school. Asian parents rages
5.Person starts speaking in weird languages(e.g. fusrodah)
6.Sex between couples decreased due to the increase 'side effects' from Skyrim, which made infected people download Skyrim Sex Mods on the internet to attempt to cure the disease.
7.The infected will not go outdoors, truant school lessons, lock in the room with the computer(and 50000 pizzas, coke etc) and some crack.
8.After 24hours, the person will SEE HIMSELF/HERSELF INSIDE A STRANGE WORLD, KNOWN AS SKYRIM
9. Daily routine will be 4hour sleep, 19 hour inside the world of skyrim and 1hour of masturbation
10. After 400 hours, the person finally dies of dehydration, lack of sleep and food, excessive boner/masturbation and two black eyes.
by Therift April 13, 2012
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Skyrim (n)

The fifth game in the Elder Scrolls series, and arguably the best game in the history of mankind. By purchasing this game, you have sold your soul to Bethesda Softworks--which is a pretty even trade-off, actually. Once you start this game--assuming your computer/Xbox 360/PS3 doesn't burst into flames of righteous fury due to it's lack of uberness-- you will not be seeing the sun for a while.

Side effects include: Weight loss, paleness of skin, weight gain, reluctance to leave your chair, death, peeing in a bottle, ordering pizza every night because you can't stop playing long enough to make some food, loss of the ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality. Loss of Girlfriend.
Guy: I hear the end of the world will be in 2012.
Me: At least I get a year to play Skyrim.
Guy: It's also supposed to end on October 21st.
Me: Then I'll die playing Skyrim.

I used to have a girlfriend. Then I found out Skyrim was coming out.
by Magias June 14, 2011
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