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Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian's definitions

Ear licking

Some stupid shit that skanky ass e-girls do to a binaural microphone. It is often wrongly labelled as asmr when in reality it's just erotica (FYI erotic asmr ≠ asmr). Call it asmr all you want, but the entire asmr community would beg to differ.
Ear licking is NOT asmr. To categorize ear licking as asmr is an utter insult towards the entire asmr community and misrepresents ASMR's raison d'etre.
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Manifesto

Generally, this is really just a fancy term for an essay. Alternatively, it can be used for an essay that's too good to be called an essay (especially if it's a rather grandiose critique on something).
1) Mom: Why you still up at 4am?
Me: Sorry just gotta finish up my manifesto before it's due tomorrow

2) Calvin wrote a huge manifesto on the relationship between technological determinism & porn addiction and posted it on Reddit, but no one ever paid attention.
by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian September 14, 2020
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better than sex

A term equally used by men and women to describe an experience so overwhelmingly pleasurable and orgasmic that it surpasses the pleasure of having sex.

Though the term is commonly in reference to a non-sexual experience, it can also imply something of a sexual origin (just not coitus itself).
If someone finds fellatio more pleasurable than coitus, one could say that it was better than sex.
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Bank Account

This server is so empty right now, just like my bank account
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Living My Best Life

To assimilate what a previous definition said, basically the phrase 'Living My Best Life' denotes a lifestyle (or a moment in time) where an individual is in its most optimal state of being. This state is completely subjective and varies from person to person. To some folks, living their best life may imply breaking free of some restraint. To other folks, living their best life may imply getting out of an unhealthy state and into a more healthy state. And to some other folks, this phrase may simply just mean getting by the day doing what they love.

Whatever the case may be, in all cases, 'Living My Best Life' emphasizes that only 𝗬𝗢𝗨 are in control of your life and only 𝗬𝗢𝗨 can understand what is best for you, regardless what other people may think or expect of you.

TL;DR Living My Best Life = living life under your own terms, at your own pace, with your own ideals and expectations.
"My friend is a music producer. He had big ambitions, however, living with his parents restricted his creative freedom. Thus, he set off on his own and moved into the big city (e.g. Toronto, NYC, LA). He lived in a small crappy apartment in a shady neighborhood, and survived off with hardly any income to pay his rent. Despite all that, he said he was living his best life."

"After a grave talk with my mother, I came to terms that my degen sleep schedule was causing distress to my life. After taking considerable effort to correct it, I now end up sleeping at 4am and waking up at 11am instead of my usual 9am-5pm degen hours. Even though I could not meet the normal 12am-7am standard set by my mother, I was already beyond satisfied with the result, and I felt like I was living my best life, and that is what ultimately matters to me."
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Olive Garden

Just a casual American restaurant chain for the commoners. Serves typical Americanized Italian dishes made by unskilled college students who are just learning how to cook. Food is decent at best, as one would expect. Most often the place where a typical guy would ask a girl out to, as well as a freshman's first job.

Comparable to the Canadian restaurant chains "Swiss Chalet" and "East Side Marios".
Guy 1: Just got my first job at Olive Garden!
Guy 2: Nice!
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Psuedo-intelligence

Psuedo-intelligence is intelligence not derived from the understanding of knowledge, but from the wise and clever things that you hear other people say or do. Basically it is a form of social learning where you learn how to come off as seemingly intelligent but not actually so.
Amy used psuedo-intelligence she learned from a YouTube video to pick up a guy.
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