Definitions by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian
Buzzfeed
The absolute worst of the worst clickbait news sites, basically the equivalent to McDonald's. Unlike other news sites, they did not earn their disgraceful reputation for being biased but rather for writing the most obnoxious, ridiculous, brain-dead articles that only attract those who have nothing better to read. Their entire site is psychologically designed to reel you in with a never-ending list of meaningless but mind-numbingly interesting facts and quizzes. The company is probably run by a bunch of greedy capitalist pigs that stop at nothing to get people to click on their articles.
Them: What's wrong with buzzfeed?? Y'all stupid if you think they have some political bias.
Me: Yeah......no. The pertinent problem with buzzfeed is not that they have any sort of media bias, but rather than they produce garbage clickbait articles that offer no value other than to stimulate our brain's dopamine reward system. They will capitalize on any topic if it's profitable, including politics. Basically Buzzfeed is like heroin, and I don't mean that in a good way.
Me: Yeah......no. The pertinent problem with buzzfeed is not that they have any sort of media bias, but rather than they produce garbage clickbait articles that offer no value other than to stimulate our brain's dopamine reward system. They will capitalize on any topic if it's profitable, including politics. Basically Buzzfeed is like heroin, and I don't mean that in a good way.
Buzzfeed by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 13, 2021
Rule 1129
Rule 1129 states that anything and everything can exist on the online shopping site Aliexpress. Doesn't matter how ridiculous or obscure, as long as you can think of it, it will most definitely be sold on Aliexpress.
'1129' comes from converting the letters in "A", "l", and "i" into its corresponding ordinal number of the Alphabet.
'1129' comes from converting the letters in "A", "l", and "i" into its corresponding ordinal number of the Alphabet.
Dude 1: Tf, apparently Aliexpress is a treasure trove for furry costumes
Dude 2: That's nothing compared to what I had found one time. I was bored out of my mind so I looked up gold toilet on Aliexpress and actually found this insane fancy toilet made of 24K gold!!! And it sold for like two grand.
Dude 3: Damn, that's some rule 1129 right there
Dude 2: That's nothing compared to what I had found one time. I was bored out of my mind so I looked up gold toilet on Aliexpress and actually found this insane fancy toilet made of 24K gold!!! And it sold for like two grand.
Dude 3: Damn, that's some rule 1129 right there
Rule 1129 by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 12, 2021
It isn't what it isn't
Essentially the same meaning as "it is what it is", but to make it more clear that you can't "wish" for the unpleasant thing/situation/fate to not happen.
Dudebro 1: Dude my bank account just got hacked and I lost $2000, I wish this would've never happened to me.
Dudebro 2: It isn't what it isn't man.
Dudebro 2: It isn't what it isn't man.
It isn't what it isn't by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 9, 2021
New York Times
A very overrated newspaper that the majority of folks depend on to get their news about everything. Mostly shares populist and moderately liberal viewpoints, with an inherent bias towards the US. The op-eds can sometimes come off as a bit moralizing. Not a bad news source by any means, but far from being the greatest newspaper.
New York Times by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 8, 2021
foam mattress
The best type of mattress hands down. Much superior to spring mattresses. Nothing can compare to a foam mattress when it comes to comfort. However when you buy a foam mattress you are also making the statement that sexy time isn't reserved in the bed anymore, this is more of a pro than a con really (vanilla sex = booorinng).
Jane and dane decided to get a foam mattress and did not regret it one bit. However it was impossible to fuck on it, so they did it on the floor instead.
foam mattress by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 7, 2021
Schnitzel
A word you say to convey that you are in a predicament. Basically the same thing as "in a pickle", but instead of pickle you say schnitzel.
I am in a real schnitzel right now, I can't decide whether to have schnitzel or chicken wings for dinner!
Schnitzel by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian May 4, 2021