Mark H's definitions
*At the annual college swimming championship competition*
Chuck: Damn Sean, did you see that Erica outswim the other contestants for the umpteenth time? She just won the whole tourney and is the undefeated champion of the whole district! I wonder how the hell she does it.
Sean: Lotsa practice obviously. Like the other swimmers. But one could assume that it's in part due to those damn fine floatation devices she got on her! *points and ogles at Erica as she holds up her trophy to the audience*
Chuck: Amen, brother! I sure wanna make that one my little bed mermaid! Giggidy giggidy!
Mark H. UD contributer since February 2004.
Chuck: Damn Sean, did you see that Erica outswim the other contestants for the umpteenth time? She just won the whole tourney and is the undefeated champion of the whole district! I wonder how the hell she does it.
Sean: Lotsa practice obviously. Like the other swimmers. But one could assume that it's in part due to those damn fine floatation devices she got on her! *points and ogles at Erica as she holds up her trophy to the audience*
Chuck: Amen, brother! I sure wanna make that one my little bed mermaid! Giggidy giggidy!
Mark H. UD contributer since February 2004.
by Mark H April 24, 2005
Get the floatation devices mug.A Mexican man walks into a bar.
Please note that he's the *only* Mexican person there and all the other guys are white.
Suddenly one of the white guys walks up to the Mexican guy and says...
"Hey you! Colored men aren't allowed, much less welcome here!"
Then, the Mexican guy turns around and says to the white guy...
"Hey pendejo... When I was born, I was brown!"
"When I grew up, I was brown!"
"When I am sick, I'm brown!"
"When I'm in the sun, I'm brown!"
"When I'm in the cold, I'm brown!"
"And when I die, I'll still be brown!"
"But on the other hand you, pendejo, when you were born, you were pink!"
"When you grew up, you were white!"
"When you're sick, you turn yellow or even green!"
"When you're in the sun, you turn red!"
"When you're in the cold, you turn blue!"
"And when you die, you'll turn purple!"
"And you have the nerve and the balls to call me a "colored man!?" Ha ha!"
Please note that he's the *only* Mexican person there and all the other guys are white.
Suddenly one of the white guys walks up to the Mexican guy and says...
"Hey you! Colored men aren't allowed, much less welcome here!"
Then, the Mexican guy turns around and says to the white guy...
"Hey pendejo... When I was born, I was brown!"
"When I grew up, I was brown!"
"When I am sick, I'm brown!"
"When I'm in the sun, I'm brown!"
"When I'm in the cold, I'm brown!"
"And when I die, I'll still be brown!"
"But on the other hand you, pendejo, when you were born, you were pink!"
"When you grew up, you were white!"
"When you're sick, you turn yellow or even green!"
"When you're in the sun, you turn red!"
"When you're in the cold, you turn blue!"
"And when you die, you'll turn purple!"
"And you have the nerve and the balls to call me a "colored man!?" Ha ha!"
Pass it on...
(Note that I'm not racist. I'm Mexican myself. I just found this joke in some latino guy's myspace page and so since I thought it was pretty funny, I decided to translate it to English and post it here.)
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Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.
(Note that I'm not racist. I'm Mexican myself. I just found this joke in some latino guy's myspace page and so since I thought it was pretty funny, I decided to translate it to English and post it here.)
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Mark H. Proud UD author since February 2004.
by Mark H July 30, 2006
Get the Mexican mug.An ouija board. The game played on it is a fortune-telling game that is thought to bring demonic possesion down on certain people who play it.
Ouija player 1: Aww shit, dis weegee board be givin me the creeps, yo.
Ouija player 2: F-fff-fo shizzz-le mah nizz-zz-le. *shivers*
Ouija player 3: Y'all quit being pussies and move tha damn thing!
Ouija player 2: F-fff-fo shizzz-le mah nizz-zz-le. *shivers*
Ouija player 3: Y'all quit being pussies and move tha damn thing!
by Mark H June 17, 2004
Get the weegee board mug.by Mark H October 10, 2004
Get the fly mug.A hoe that spends all day lying naked on her bed(or some other soft surface) masturbating and looking all used up, because of all the nymphomania she has gotten from fucking countless men throughout most of her life as a young woman.
The term "heaved" means fucked once so many times to the point of extensive use and has absolutely nothing to do with the phrase "heave ho," which sailors use as a command for pulling something, such as a rope, cable, or fishing net.
The term "heaved" means fucked once so many times to the point of extensive use and has absolutely nothing to do with the phrase "heave ho," which sailors use as a command for pulling something, such as a rope, cable, or fishing net.
Daaaayum, won't dat bitch get up, stop jillin off and do sumthin' productive? Fo sheezy, someone call a doctor to get dat heaved hoe on rehab!
by Mark H August 31, 2004
Get the heaved hoe mug.A gay sex act in which a man with a gas problem(who farts alot) is being screwed in the ass by his partner and then gives sexual stimulation by farting into his partner's penis.
It's kinda like giving a blowjob, but through your ass instead of through your mouth. So that's why it's called a "fart-job!"
It's kinda like giving a blowjob, but through your ass instead of through your mouth. So that's why it's called a "fart-job!"
Steve(fucking his partner Jon in the ass): Hey Jon, do you have one coming already?
Jon: Yes! Yes, here comes a BIG one!
*Jon lets out a rather long-lasting, noisy, and pungent-smelling fart*
Steve: Aaaaaahhh! That felt so good!
Jon: Yes! Yes, here comes a BIG one!
*Jon lets out a rather long-lasting, noisy, and pungent-smelling fart*
Steve: Aaaaaahhh! That felt so good!
by Mark H August 4, 2004
Get the fart-job mug.by Mark H February 14, 2006
Get the molly mug.