Definitions by Major Thomas Randle

Cam-splaining 

Political candidates who must try to explain negative or questionable actions from their past.

It was a very short time before he had to stop campaigning and start
CAM-SPLAINING the unacceptable things done in years past.

Cam-splaining by Major Thomas Randle February 6, 2019

Nano-Text

A very short text message; usually with very few characters or words.

My friend has a terrible smartphone plan that forces him to reply to my long texts with NANO-TEXT replies; which I never understand!

Nano-Text by Major Thomas Randle January 22, 2019

Dogorithims 

The algorithms that dogs use for solving problems (e.g.: finding food, getting tummy scratches, finding food, licking correctly, being lovable, finding food).

Doggies are all so wonderful because they use DOGORITHIMS vs. people’s algorithms. The systems are less complex; but impossible to refuse or surprise anyone.

Dogorithims by Major Thomas Randle January 8, 2019

Snewze-Years-Eve

Sleeping before midnight on New Years Eve.

The older I get; the more staying awake until midnight on New Years Eve becomes impossible... therefore making this celebration into SNEWZE-YEARS-EVE. While the others have parties which don’t even end at 12:00am... I am snoring by 10pm!!!

Snewze-Years-Eve by Major Thomas Randle December 29, 2018

Department of The-fence 

The seemingly only government department that matters now. Plus the soldiers being forced to leave their incredibly important work to be twisted into situations where our best leaders are leaving over a fence with no meaning.

After the last general and then secretaries in the cabinet have been literally forced out of doing their jobs to focus upon a border fence. The only meaningful job must be at the Department of The-fence!!!

Department of The-fence by Major Thomas Randle December 26, 2018

Text Guessage 

A text message that is not understood by the recipient/s; due to spelling and formatting. Often containing anagrams that are uncommon and/or incorrect.

My brother sent me a TEXT GUESSAGE ...again, which made no sense to me because it was like reading Morse Code!!!

Text Guessage by Major Thomas Randle December 19, 2018

High~pothesis 

A hypothesis or theory formulated while stoned (using legal marijuana within your States Legal Statutes ™); almost always wrong and often not finished.

I think that dude’s hypothesis was first made while he was smoking weed! It truly is a prime example of a ‘High~pothesis!!!

High~pothesis by Major Thomas Randle December 16, 2018