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Mai Ainsel's definitions

bang nanny

A woman that a man gets into a relationship with primarily so she'll watch his kids from another relationship
Her: "Sorry, we have to cancel girls night. I forgot that Boyfriend has custody of his kids tonight and so I have to make them dinner, help them with their homework, and prepare their school lunch for tomorrow."

Friend: "Girl, he's using you as a bang nanny! DTMFA."
by Mai Ainsel October 21, 2019
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Malicious Over-Compliance

A variation of malicious compliance where you respond (or offer to respond) with way more than what was asked of you, in order to try and pressure the asker to back off.
Sue: "So I told my husband I wasn't ok with him staying at his ex-girlfriend's house when he visited her town," and he was like, 'fine, I'll never hang out alone with any female friend - ever - if that's what it takes for you to trust me'!"

Sam: "That's some grade-A malicious over-compliance. My Mom's the queen of it. I told her I didn't have time to talk for 3 hours on the phone every day and she goes 'oh I'm so sorry, I'll stop bothering you with my sad, boring life - I'll never demand speak to you again... but perhaps you would allow me a 2-minute call on my birthdays and maybe Christmas?' Like, geez, lady!"

Kid: "Bye Dad, I'm gonna hang out with some older guys in a parking lot."

Sam: "No you're not - it's 10:30pm on a school night ."

Kid: "Fine, I guess I'll just stay home all day every day and never do anything but study and pray!"

Sam: "That's nice, kid - now do your homework." *turns to Sue* "Yeah, my daughter apparently inherited the malicious over compliance talent from gran-gran. I was sort hoping she'd get Mom's singing talent, but nooo... just the theater drama."
by Mai Ainsel July 9, 2020
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Whomst

Hard to explain. Basically means "who/whom" but with an implied "like I give a fuck" at the end.
Bob: "We better get out of here before the teacher catches us."
Joe: "Whomst?"
Bob: "You're right, who gives a shit?"

Suzy: "Oh look, Jane, your ex-boyfriend's at the club as well."
Jane: "Whomst?"
Suzy: "Hell yeah, girl! To hell with him."
by Mai Ainsel December 17, 2020
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Uncle Dad

A father who takes being the 'fun dad' so far that the role he plays in his children's life is more like an uncle. Do the kids need a trip to the dentist? Do they have homework? What are they having for dinner? He hasn't a clue - but he will occasionally take them out to a ball game. Often a non-custodial parent.
Oh hey, Uncle Dad sent me a birthday email and a $20 gift card to Baskin Robbins. I'm lactose intolerant and it's actually my sister's birthday, but... it's the thought that counts, I guess.
by Mai Ainsel March 7, 2019
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Monkey Branching

Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.
Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"

Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."

OR

Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."

Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."
by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022
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favor sharking

Doing an unasked-for favor for someone, and then using it to try and guilt them into doing something for you.
Sam: "So Bob shows up at my house randomly with some brown bananas and is like 'hey, you can use these to make banana bread,' and I'm like 'uh, ok, I don't really bake but thanks,' and then he invites himself in for an hour and asks to borrow $300."

Joe: "That's some prime favor sharking right there. But my mother in law is worse. She keeps buying us weird vases and knick-knacks we don't need and then calls us ungrateful if we don't spend hours on the phone with her saying thank you and talking about where we'll put them in the house. We keep asking her to stop but she won't.
by Mai Ainsel June 17, 2020
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Hajj Flu

The cough/cold/flu everyone gets after going to Hajj, because you're stuffed up close with people from every corner of the world, and one of them is gonna have whatever flu virus it is that you aren't immune to
"I just got back from Hajj and I'm in bed with Hajj flu."
by Mai Ainsel February 8, 2020
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