Madmann's definitions

good girl

A girl who'd rather do what you want than what her parents taught her.

syn. bad girl

Good girls are best when they're bad girls.

by Madmann October 10, 2005

pea soup

It's when chef Gordon Elliott, through years of discipline and training, is able to actually urinate a meaty broth for the guests of his... oh wait... nope, that's pee soup. Sorry. Never mind.

My confusion is as thick as pea soup.

by Madmann October 10, 2005

Paintball

A testicular disease which affects only artists and housepainters.

Won't you please give all you can to stop paintball in our lifetime? Phones are now open!

by Madmann October 10, 2005

art

The creation of beauty from nothing.

I'm lucky enough to get paid for my art.

by Madmann October 10, 2005

jailhouse conversion

A sudden shift in belief systems (usually finding Jesus, but also Allah and probably every other Deity) after a period of incarceration. Usually a ploy for leniency with the legal system. Oddly, given the separation of church and state that we're supposed to have in this country, it does sometimes seem to have a positive effect when going to talk to the judge/parole board. Everyone from your local meth dealer to Manuel Noriega, Dictator of Panama have tried this one, making it one of the truly "oldest ones in the book".

typical jailhouse conversion:

Crack Dealer: Your Honor, I found Jesus in the Dade County Jail.

Judge: Big deal, this is Florida, every third guy in there is named Jesus....

by Madmann October 10, 2005

buddy jesus

1. Originally from the Kevin Smith movie "Dogma". In the film, Cardinal Glick, during his "Catholicism WOW!" campaign to move the church towards a younger, "hipper" demographic, suggest replacing the crucifix with a new image of Christ. This version is grinning like an infomercial host, with one hand thumbs up and one hand doing a phony Hollywood "Bang-bang" gesture. Imagine Jesus if he were subject to Neilsen ratings.

2. Anyone who possesses all the false charm and lack of genuine quality as personified by the icon represented in definition 1; for example, that phony cockbite where you work. It helps if they walk around all the time acting like only THEY can save you/the corporation/Earth/Jimmy Olsen. Martyrdom: It's a good gig if you can get it.

1. I laughed so hard the first time I saw Buddy Jesus I passed an entire chef salad through my nose!

2. That Dan... he's such a Buddy Jesus... I oughta nail him to something.

by Madmann October 8, 2005

head nurse

1. The lead nurse working on a shift.

2. The nurse with the dirtiest knees. Much more valuable and rare than definition 1.

1. The head nurse is coming to remove your catheter.

2. The head nurse relieved me of some pressure in my groin.

by Madmann October 8, 2005