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Madmann's definitions

Grown-up

Some people mistakenly believe this is a term for those over 18. Fraid not. Some people are born grown-ups, and some die at 100 never having acheived this status. If you are one, congratulations on not dying thus far; if not, here's some things you have to look forward to!

• You will cease to be impressed with your 1337speak, pwning people, your h4x0r rep and otherwise talking "liek u r" an illiterate moron. Intelligence, it's not just for breakfast anymore.

• For you emo kids, the world will get brighter for you when you stop crying and get another piece of ass. Life's cyclical in nature, roll with it.

• You will finally understand why your dad always screams when you begin to pay all your own bills. TIP: Pay electricity bill before buying the new GTA.

• Realizing that just because you CAN drink doesn't necessarily make it a good idea. Go out Wednesday, your place of employment might look like the jaws of Hell Thursday morning at 7:00 AM.

• Realizing that your place of employment ALWAYS looks like the jaws of Hell, shrugging and doing what you damn well feel like anyway.

and finally,

• The moment when you are truly no longer a kid, because you can't be. Because you have decided that all kids, without exception, SUCK. Because now YOU have a kid, crying, yelling, wetting the bed, wanting money. Karma's a cruel bitch.

Other than that, it's the only way to be... what else ya gonna do, be a 40 year old skateboarder?
I'm glad I'm a grown-up

or

(Closed captioning for the 1337 impaired)
i r liek ben a grown-up. it's teh w00t.
by Madmann October 10, 2005
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buddy jesus

1. Originally from the Kevin Smith movie "Dogma". In the film, Cardinal Glick, during his "Catholicism WOW!" campaign to move the church towards a younger, "hipper" demographic, suggest replacing the crucifix with a new image of Christ. This version is grinning like an infomercial host, with one hand thumbs up and one hand doing a phony Hollywood "Bang-bang" gesture. Imagine Jesus if he were subject to Neilsen ratings.

2. Anyone who possesses all the false charm and lack of genuine quality as personified by the icon represented in definition 1; for example, that phony cockbite where you work. It helps if they walk around all the time acting like only THEY can save you/the corporation/Earth/Jimmy Olsen. Martyrdom: It's a good gig if you can get it.
1. I laughed so hard the first time I saw Buddy Jesus I passed an entire chef salad through my nose!

2. That Dan... he's such a Buddy Jesus... I oughta nail him to something.
by Madmann October 8, 2005
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vapor trail

The electronic equivalent of a "paper trail". In the old days, guys like Enron and MCI had to worry about leaving hard-copy memos and such laying around that could eventually be used against them. Now it's e-mails, text files, server databases and the like.
Enron's IT guys are trying furiously to erase the vapor trail.
by Madmann December 28, 2005
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Vague

It's when something, or someone is sort of non-specific about whatever it is that they might (or might not) be talking about, dealing with, screwing or what have you. Unless it's not, which means that at some point it may or may not be. Time will tell.
Insert specific example of vague here. Show your work.
by Madmann October 10, 2005
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pea soup

It's when chef Gordon Elliott, through years of discipline and training, is able to actually urinate a meaty broth for the guests of his... oh wait... nope, that's pee soup. Sorry. Never mind.
My confusion is as thick as pea soup.
by Madmann October 10, 2005
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fupdate

A word we use all the time where I work. It's when a software company releases an update to the program that introduces more bugs than it fixed. It is, of course, a contraction of "fucked up" and "update".
Chris: You get that buggy software doing what you want yet?

Madmann: No, they sent me a fupdate. I'm about a week behind where I was yesterday....
by Madmann October 14, 2005
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Paintball

A testicular disease which affects only artists and housepainters.
Won't you please give all you can to stop paintball in our lifetime? Phones are now open!
by Madmann October 10, 2005
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