The only true sign of intelligence you will encounter from another human being.
A theist, or believer in God, will tell you that he ABSOLUTELY exists. An atheist (non-believer) will say he ABSOLUTELY doesn't.
Well, the last time I checked, it's been like 2000 years since God was reported to have talked to anybody, making it pretty difficult to prove. Besides which, all religion is predicated on faith (See also: Not supposed to be proven).
Prove he doesn't exist? Possibly the only thing harder to do. Besides the enormity of the task, there's the fact that anyone who ever took a logic class knows and that is that you can't prove a negative. You can only prove (sometimes) that something hasn't happened YET. It may still the next time.
So... you have a theist, an atheist and an agnostic... None of them really knows the truth about the nature of existence.
But only the agnostic is smart enough to admit it.
A theist, or believer in God, will tell you that he ABSOLUTELY exists. An atheist (non-believer) will say he ABSOLUTELY doesn't.
Well, the last time I checked, it's been like 2000 years since God was reported to have talked to anybody, making it pretty difficult to prove. Besides which, all religion is predicated on faith (See also: Not supposed to be proven).
Prove he doesn't exist? Possibly the only thing harder to do. Besides the enormity of the task, there's the fact that anyone who ever took a logic class knows and that is that you can't prove a negative. You can only prove (sometimes) that something hasn't happened YET. It may still the next time.
So... you have a theist, an atheist and an agnostic... None of them really knows the truth about the nature of existence.
But only the agnostic is smart enough to admit it.
by Madmann October 07, 2005
1. A popular comedian among NASCAR fans, mulletheads, Pabst Blue Ribbon drinkers and rednecks (like those are different categories). Creator of the "You Might Be A Redneck" series of jokes. I say "jokes" loosely, as they're all slight derivations of the exact same joke, which isn't really a joke to begin with, just observation: rednecks lack class & intelligence. The only humor is that the rednecks themselves love this joke more than anyone. "We're backwards losers, that is SOOOO funny!"
2. Any one-trick pony such as definition 1.
2. Any one-trick pony such as definition 1.
1. "Jeff Foxworthy's on TV! Wanna watch?"
"No, I gotta clip my toenails or something..."
2. "Dat Phan won Last Comic Standing and EVERY joke was about being Korean... what a Foxworthy..."
"No, I gotta clip my toenails or something..."
2. "Dat Phan won Last Comic Standing and EVERY joke was about being Korean... what a Foxworthy..."
by Madmann October 11, 2005
1. Originally from the Kevin Smith movie "Dogma". In the film, Cardinal Glick, during his "Catholicism WOW!" campaign to move the church towards a younger, "hipper" demographic, suggest replacing the crucifix with a new image of Christ. This version is grinning like an infomercial host, with one hand thumbs up and one hand doing a phony Hollywood "Bang-bang" gesture. Imagine Jesus if he were subject to Neilsen ratings.
2. Anyone who possesses all the false charm and lack of genuine quality as personified by the icon represented in definition 1; for example, that phony cockbite where you work. It helps if they walk around all the time acting like only THEY can save you/the corporation/Earth/Jimmy Olsen. Martyrdom: It's a good gig if you can get it.
2. Anyone who possesses all the false charm and lack of genuine quality as personified by the icon represented in definition 1; for example, that phony cockbite where you work. It helps if they walk around all the time acting like only THEY can save you/the corporation/Earth/Jimmy Olsen. Martyrdom: It's a good gig if you can get it.
1. I laughed so hard the first time I saw Buddy Jesus I passed an entire chef salad through my nose!
2. That Dan... he's such a Buddy Jesus... I oughta nail him to something.
2. That Dan... he's such a Buddy Jesus... I oughta nail him to something.
by Madmann October 03, 2005
The electronic equivalent of a "paper trail". In the old days, guys like Enron and MCI had to worry about leaving hard-copy memos and such laying around that could eventually be used against them. Now it's e-mails, text files, server databases and the like.
by Madmann October 11, 2005
by Madmann October 08, 2005
by Madmann June 25, 2020
A sudden shift in belief systems (usually finding Jesus, but also Allah and probably every other Deity) after a period of incarceration. Usually a ploy for leniency with the legal system. Oddly, given the separation of church and state that we're supposed to have in this country, it does sometimes seem to have a positive effect when going to talk to the judge/parole board. Everyone from your local meth dealer to Manuel Noriega, Dictator of Panama have tried this one, making it one of the truly "oldest ones in the book".
typical jailhouse conversion:
Crack Dealer: Your Honor, I found Jesus in the Dade County Jail.
Judge: Big deal, this is Florida, every third guy in there is named Jesus....
Crack Dealer: Your Honor, I found Jesus in the Dade County Jail.
Judge: Big deal, this is Florida, every third guy in there is named Jesus....
by Madmann October 11, 2005