Luigi's definitions
Synonymous with internet cafe; a place that serves coffee, drinks and has terminals and internet connections to rent by the hour.
The cyber café where Mark tended to end up, evening after evening, served a mediocre Napa white and superb T1 internet access. Mark had a laptop and a dial-up connection in his apartment, but he preferred the faster online connection and the false sense of camaraderie at the café. In truth, no one ever spoke to anyone else there--even the barrista made the drinks in church-like silence. Each patron sipped at his computer booth, lost in a cyberworld of their own creation.
There was a bright new banner, announcing an online dating service. “30 Days, Guaranteed or Your Money Back!” it boasted. What the hell, thought Mark, who was an optimist despite some notable dating disasters in the past. There was that gal from Medway, the one with the three cats and the bad case of…Mark shuddered and tried to wipe that image out of his mind. What the hell, thought Mark, and signed on.
Night after night, he faced a woman across a table, and night after night the same thoughts were exchanged: He’s better than I thought. She’s worse than I imagined. I could manage him, if he’d get a better job. Why can’t there be a woman who’s smart and doesn’t look and smell like exactly a pit bull, thought Mark. There has to be one. Somewhere.
Then he met Belkis. “I changed my name from Magda, “ she confided. Magda, he thought, is a pretty exotic name already. What about Magda needed changing? He didn’t ask.
Belkis was smart, all right, and beautiful, in a dark and somewhat masculinely sinister way. Her figure was taut, her brows somewhat low, and her teeth looked white, but sharp. She wore red lipstick that left a mark on the espresso cups like a vampire bite.
Starting over wasn’t so bad, Mark thought. He didn't like his old job, his cramped apartment or that town anyway. Changing your identity could even be exciting, if you looked at it in the right light. He hadn’t heard from Belkis or her lawyers in over a month. Too bad he forgot to change his cell phone number. Belkis was a patient woman.
There was a bright new banner, announcing an online dating service. “30 Days, Guaranteed or Your Money Back!” it boasted. What the hell, thought Mark, who was an optimist despite some notable dating disasters in the past. There was that gal from Medway, the one with the three cats and the bad case of…Mark shuddered and tried to wipe that image out of his mind. What the hell, thought Mark, and signed on.
Night after night, he faced a woman across a table, and night after night the same thoughts were exchanged: He’s better than I thought. She’s worse than I imagined. I could manage him, if he’d get a better job. Why can’t there be a woman who’s smart and doesn’t look and smell like exactly a pit bull, thought Mark. There has to be one. Somewhere.
Then he met Belkis. “I changed my name from Magda, “ she confided. Magda, he thought, is a pretty exotic name already. What about Magda needed changing? He didn’t ask.
Belkis was smart, all right, and beautiful, in a dark and somewhat masculinely sinister way. Her figure was taut, her brows somewhat low, and her teeth looked white, but sharp. She wore red lipstick that left a mark on the espresso cups like a vampire bite.
Starting over wasn’t so bad, Mark thought. He didn't like his old job, his cramped apartment or that town anyway. Changing your identity could even be exciting, if you looked at it in the right light. He hadn’t heard from Belkis or her lawyers in over a month. Too bad he forgot to change his cell phone number. Belkis was a patient woman.
by Luigi August 7, 2004
Get the Cyber Cafe mug.Extremely ugly clothing, based on trucker-style caps and overalls. The idea is that the wearer is SO pretty and SO rich that they can overspend on a fugly item of clothing because it's in style and look good. If you tried to wear it and looked more like Bea Arthur than Paris Hilton, you'd look like a goob, which is the idea.
Paris Hilton popularized wearing Von Dutch clothing, then fulfilled her destiny by imitating white trash on her reality tv show.
by Luigi August 6, 2004
Get the Von Dutch mug.A cloned lesbian child; a lesbian daughter parthenogenically produced without male sperm, employing the technique of cloning a human cell into a human egg.
Eschewing the turkey baster, Melissa and Ellen sought the services of a tissue culture laboratory to produce a klondike.
by Luigi August 6, 2004
Get the klondike mug.A nightspot, pub or other boite where parthenogenically produced lesbians can hang out with others of their kind. See klondike
Gertrude and Alice met at a klondike bar and got married in Massachusetts. Then they got on the waiting list to create their own klondike from a Cambridge laboratory.
by Luigi August 6, 2004
Get the klondike bar mug.Nickname for Vlade Divac.
Vlade Divac's reputation for flopping on the basketball court has earned him the nickname King of Flop.
by Luigi July 21, 2004
Get the King of Flop mug.Vlade's defender sneezed on the other end of the court, and Vlade fell down causing the offical to call a foul.
by Luigi July 20, 2004
Get the Vlade Divac mug.Beaufort was not only cantankerous, he was downright malignorant and liable to start a fight over practically anything and nothing.
by Luigi July 12, 2004
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