LordJenal's definitions

Female Paedophile

Figure it out yourself.

You should be able to figure out what a female paedophile is yourself. You've got Google (if you are reading this) and common knowledge. Figure it out yourself.

by LordJenal September 28, 2022

Secret Sex

When you are in a relationship and have sex with someone other than your partner/spouse. The reason it's secret sex is because if your partner or spouse finds out. YOU! ARE! SCREWED!

Although I'm married, I had secret sex with some French girl last night. Hope my misses doesn't find out!

by LordJenal November 16, 2023

Scuba dive the Titanic

A creative way of telling someone to kill themselves!

If you scuba dive the titanic you'll die instantly due to being crushed by the water pressure.

Person 1: *Does something annoying or stupid*
Person 2: What the fuck did you do that for. Scuba dive the Titanic, idiot!

by LordJenal July 2, 2023

Jaywick

A village in Essex, UK that is famous for being the biggest dump in the entire country. The place is full of crackheads that live in abandoned sheds that look like they are being held up by tent poles and pritt stick. The place has lots of old crap just littered in backyards and has abandoned rusty cars from the 1980s as well as all sorts of ancient mouldy furniture just dumped outside peoples homes. The place literally looks like a slum. Half the buildings are abandoned and are all boarded up and have a rotten roof.

Don't visit Jaywick in Essex it's 100% a dump!

by LordJenal March 30, 2022

Monster Energy

Big man in a can. Drank by 12 year olds who would like to brag to their friends by drinking alcohol but can't get served anywhere and can't get there hands on it any other way and so use Monster Energy as a substitute because it reads "no recommended for children on the can". They hang around and are considered the cool kid because they've got a can of Monster Energy. They brag when they even get served a Monster because in the UK you have to be over 16 by store policy (not law). These kids walk into newsagents who literally couldn't give a toss and "get served" and get seen as the cool kid. They wave it around and all the girls will be fighting over you for sure *wink wink*! Grown adults find this incredible cringeworthy and when the kids grow up they feel incredibly embarrassed about it.

Kid 1: YOU'LL NEVER A GIRLFRIEND!
Kid 2: OH SHUT YOUR MOUTH I'VE GOT MORE CHANGE THAN YOU! I GOT SERVED A MONSTER ENERGY AT THAT NEWSAGENTS THE OTHER DAY THAT SO INCREASES MY CHANCES OF GETTING ONE! THEY'LL ALL WANT ME! I SO OBVIOUSLY LOOK 16.
Kid 1 (Jealous): OH YEAH RIGHT COURSE DID! I COULD GET SERVED A MONSTER ENERGY AT EVERY NEWSAGENT UNLIKE YOU! I LOOK WAY OVER 16!
Kid 2: SHUT UP! NO MONSTER NO GIRLFRIEND SIMPLE AS THAT! YOUR JUST A KID!
Grown Adult (in the background): What utter babies they are!

by LordJenal May 20, 2022

Camelot Theme Park

A theme park in Chorley, Lancashire that closed down in 2012. It became an abandoned land for many, many years and many urban explorers wandered around the ground "illegally" and would dart from the security that was on the site. It became such a well known and documented site that anyone who posted information about it amongst the urban exploring community would be mocked and laughed at due to the repetition it caused. As of 2022 it is now a drive in cinema horror movie set. Definitely should get yourself out there if you get the chance.

Urban explorer: Camelot Theme Park - Report 2022
Other explorers: OH NO! NOT CAMELTOE AGAIN! NO!

by LordJenal August 20, 2022

Yorkshire Blackpool

Bradford. Just doesn't have a coast like Blackpool does.

Person 1: What you doing this weekend?
Person 2: Going to Bradford with the boys.
Person 1: What? Yorkshire Blackpool. Oh dear. That's bad.

by LordJenal March 30, 2022