Definitions by LayItonYou
jesus saves!
Something written in the shitter of a bar, to which you find the reply. "Don't write on my bathroom walls and I won't shit in your church"
jesus saves! by LayItonYou March 24, 2007
your shit
1} A divorce terminology mostly used by an ex, or soon to be ex-wife. Refers to a little tiny small pile of "your shit." Usually clothes and/or pictures spread sporadically upon the front lawn or in a box of "your shit." In some cases it is found to be accompanied along some things you didn't think that you owned. FIRST would be Anal Lube with a little pretty bow on it. SECOND would be a small metal object, also with a cute little pretty bow on it, called a nail clipper. So that you won't scratch your ankles when you grab them to take it up the ass by her lawyer. And THIRD would be a key to a post office box set up in your name only, that when you check it, find it full of bills ... the kind that need to be paid ... not the ones with dead presidents on them.
2} What is left on the end of her lawyers schlong from you.
3} Something said when you find your key doesn't fit in the door anymore.
4} Also denoted in the song from Beyonce.
2} What is left on the end of her lawyers schlong from you.
3} Something said when you find your key doesn't fit in the door anymore.
4} Also denoted in the song from Beyonce.
1} Dear John ... here is your shit ... and, some gifts.
Love,
Jane Doe
2} You don't call me anymore :(
3} "YOU THINK THAT YOUR SHIT DOESN'T STINK?!"
4} To the left To the left To the left
To the left To the left To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
Love,
Jane Doe
2} You don't call me anymore :(
3} "YOU THINK THAT YOUR SHIT DOESN'T STINK?!"
4} To the left To the left To the left
To the left To the left To the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet that's my stuff - Yes
your shit by LayItOnYou March 23, 2007
eat pussy
eat pussy by LayItonYou March 23, 2007
Eat The Corn
Something you can write on the bathroom wall at your local bar in the crapper for a qwik laugh.
"EAT THE CORN"
"EAT THE CORN"
Eat The Corn by LayItonYou March 23, 2007
Asshole parking
1) When another driver pulls in a spot closest to the door and you have been looking to find close parking for the last 5 minutes. You saw a keyless remote unlocking a car, the lights blinking and calling you! "OPEN OPEN OPEN"
You punched it around the opposing lane, so you could pull in at the proper angle, half crazed to get to it! And then some FUCK who JUST pulled into the lot, driving the wrong way, gets it by backing into YOUR spot just as you round the farthest edge of the corner!
2) When you follow someone for 5 minutes at a >1 MPH snails pace, Looking to get his parking space, you are happily lured along, like some 16 year old on his first bong hit, with the shiny keys to their car that are dangling from their hand and swinging around at you like a fuckin' hypnotist or some kind of Christmas present or something, in an ONE WAY underground covered parking lot - all the while the voice in your head is thinking "YEAH BABY! GOT A SPOT! I GOT A CLOSE SPOT!" - and the bastard suddenly looks confused and turns around and goes the other way while the car behind you has been flashing his lights at you for the last two minutes!
You punched it around the opposing lane, so you could pull in at the proper angle, half crazed to get to it! And then some FUCK who JUST pulled into the lot, driving the wrong way, gets it by backing into YOUR spot just as you round the farthest edge of the corner!
2) When you follow someone for 5 minutes at a >1 MPH snails pace, Looking to get his parking space, you are happily lured along, like some 16 year old on his first bong hit, with the shiny keys to their car that are dangling from their hand and swinging around at you like a fuckin' hypnotist or some kind of Christmas present or something, in an ONE WAY underground covered parking lot - all the while the voice in your head is thinking "YEAH BABY! GOT A SPOT! I GOT A CLOSE SPOT!" - and the bastard suddenly looks confused and turns around and goes the other way while the car behind you has been flashing his lights at you for the last two minutes!
1) OH NO! OH NO! NO YOU DID NOT! OH NO YOU DIDN'T! I did not just see some Asshole parking in MY SPOT!
2) CLICK! AIM! BANG!
2) CLICK! AIM! BANG!
Asshole parking by LayItOnYou March 22, 2007
nail clipper
The unfortunate act of really fucking up bad without the ability to fix an error. Almost always involving an authority figure or close relationship! You are in a "nail clipper" when you have to cut your fingernails so you won't scratch your ankles while you take it in the bum for being stupid. Worse than being "fucked"!
Damn! When my boss finds out, it's going to be a nail clipper!
I am FUCKED! I just did a nail clipper!
When a really rich man gives his wife herpes after 12 years of wedlock. He's gonna get a nail clipper!
I am FUCKED! I just did a nail clipper!
When a really rich man gives his wife herpes after 12 years of wedlock. He's gonna get a nail clipper!
nail clipper by LayItOnYou March 20, 2007
animal abuser
A sad condition that occurs after pissing off your wife or girlfriend really bad! Case studies show men are most likely to commit animal abuse soon after the "you're cut off" time begins. Effects seems to be acutely focused. Men routinely catagorize themselves in several specific groups. These men are engaging in acts of Spanking The Monkey, Choking The Chicken, Whacking The Weasel, Flogging the Dolphin, and new recent reports demonstrate cross species abuse. Some have now begun to Beat One Eyed Willy, until he finally gets mad and spits on them.
(caller to friend) Dude! I forgot our anniversary ... ... ... again! Third time! What am I going to do?
(friend) ... ... ... ... um, ... ... ... um, ... ...
(caller to friend) Do you have a chicken, or any Sea Monkeys?
(friend) -long pause- Um, Willy want's to know if your OK?
(caller to friend) ... No ... I've become an animal abuser!
(friend) -muffled voice- Willy ... He wants to talk to you.
(friend) ... ... ... ... um, ... ... ... um, ... ...
(caller to friend) Do you have a chicken, or any Sea Monkeys?
(friend) -long pause- Um, Willy want's to know if your OK?
(caller to friend) ... No ... I've become an animal abuser!
(friend) -muffled voice- Willy ... He wants to talk to you.
animal abuser by LayItOnYou March 20, 2007