This term refers to a baby-sized penis which is located on the crotch of a full-grown man.
Most of the major military conflicts in recorded history can probably be blamed on the occurrence of the crotch nipple. There are many crotch nipples in the world, and they are all due to mindless cruelty on the part of God, who does not actually exist.
This term was first coined by hecKtor Dangus in 1991 upon his first viewing of a videotaped performance by GG Allin, for reasons which are readily apparent to anyone who has ever seen GG in the nude.
Most of the major military conflicts in recorded history can probably be blamed on the occurrence of the crotch nipple. There are many crotch nipples in the world, and they are all due to mindless cruelty on the part of God, who does not actually exist.
This term was first coined by hecKtor Dangus in 1991 upon his first viewing of a videotaped performance by GG Allin, for reasons which are readily apparent to anyone who has ever seen GG in the nude.
Confucius say, "man with crotch nipple much more likely to join Marines".
If a man with a crotch nipple were to play his cards right at the dyke bar, he might get lucky with a lipstick lesbian who has a penchant for large clitori.
If a man with a crotch nipple were to play his cards right at the dyke bar, he might get lucky with a lipstick lesbian who has a penchant for large clitori.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 14, 2010
An alternate word for aviator-style sunglasses with very dark or mirrored lenses.
While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.
Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.
While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.
Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.
I saw a cop fall off his horse and land face first. His assholes did not survive.
Some dude on a Harley get pooped on by a flock of birds. Fortunately, his eyes were protected from the milky fecal rain by a sweet pair of assholes.
Did you notice any identifying traits of the fisherman who was masturbating in his boat? Could you see his eye color perhaps?
No, because he was sporting a dark pair of assholes. I did, however, notice that he had a summer length sack.
Disgusting!
Yes...yes it was...and come to think of it, he looked just like the drummer from that really shitty band...
Let me take a guess: 311?
YES! How did you know?
Those guys are wanted for all kids of weird sex crimes...mostly necro-beastiality and pedophilia. One day we'll get them.
Some dude on a Harley get pooped on by a flock of birds. Fortunately, his eyes were protected from the milky fecal rain by a sweet pair of assholes.
Did you notice any identifying traits of the fisherman who was masturbating in his boat? Could you see his eye color perhaps?
No, because he was sporting a dark pair of assholes. I did, however, notice that he had a summer length sack.
Disgusting!
Yes...yes it was...and come to think of it, he looked just like the drummer from that really shitty band...
Let me take a guess: 311?
YES! How did you know?
Those guys are wanted for all kids of weird sex crimes...mostly necro-beastiality and pedophilia. One day we'll get them.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 08, 2010
"Want to save the environment? Then don't fuck in the front hole."
“A woman who already recycles at her optimum will still increase her carbon footprint forty times by having two children.” (cited from a study at Oregon State)
"Abortion is green."
- all quotes by Doug Stanhope
“A woman who already recycles at her optimum will still increase her carbon footprint forty times by having two children.” (cited from a study at Oregon State)
"Abortion is green."
- all quotes by Doug Stanhope
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 24, 2010
An alternate term for baby wipes or wet wipes. While they are most commonly associated with diaper-changing, whores' handkerchiefs are also regularly employed by sex professionals (as well as non-pros) of either gender to facilitate a cleansing of the undercarriage prior to engaging in some form of snugglelingus. While very useful in cold weather when it's too chilly to take a shower; whores' handkerchiefs are also a favorite of nasty-ass lazy folks, people on camping trips and water conservationists alike. WH's can also can serve as a fancy substitute for toilet tissue.
female to Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary Cheney: "My love, I fear that your washrooms' supply of shit tickets has been fully depleted."
Mary Cheney to female: "No sweat baby, I got an unopened stash of whore's handkerchiefs under the sink. Now you run along and make that gash smell like artificial petunias for Mary...and hey, throw one'o them live baby dolphins into the piranha tank on yer way back, awright? They friggin' LOVE those!"
Mary Cheney to female: "No sweat baby, I got an unopened stash of whore's handkerchiefs under the sink. Now you run along and make that gash smell like artificial petunias for Mary...and hey, throw one'o them live baby dolphins into the piranha tank on yer way back, awright? They friggin' LOVE those!"
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. December 22, 2011
The free rental is a scam which makes use of the loose return policies of corporate retail entities.
While many people complain about the presence of monolithic turd factories such as Wal-Mart in their otherwise decent neighborhoods, they often fail to realize that these establishments can also be quite useful in certain situations.
To get a free rental, simply save your receipt after making any non-perishable item purchase from a retail giant. Make note of the time frame within which you are allowed to enjoy your purchase (this information is usually printed on your receipt) and then take it back for a cash refund prior to the expiration for that time period.
For example, the time limit for returns at Wal-Mart is 90 days, so one must return the item within that time to successfully complete the free rental.
It is also noteworthy that while Wal-Mart WILL accept returns without a receipt, the purchaser must allow their state-issued identification to be photocopied when this transaction takes place. Wal-Mart's corporate policy currently dictates that a maximum of 3 of these receipt-less transactions be allowed per person each year. Of course, this policy can easily be bypassed by any person who has access to fraudulent forms of identification, and/or a borrowed ID.
While many people complain about the presence of monolithic turd factories such as Wal-Mart in their otherwise decent neighborhoods, they often fail to realize that these establishments can also be quite useful in certain situations.
To get a free rental, simply save your receipt after making any non-perishable item purchase from a retail giant. Make note of the time frame within which you are allowed to enjoy your purchase (this information is usually printed on your receipt) and then take it back for a cash refund prior to the expiration for that time period.
For example, the time limit for returns at Wal-Mart is 90 days, so one must return the item within that time to successfully complete the free rental.
It is also noteworthy that while Wal-Mart WILL accept returns without a receipt, the purchaser must allow their state-issued identification to be photocopied when this transaction takes place. Wal-Mart's corporate policy currently dictates that a maximum of 3 of these receipt-less transactions be allowed per person each year. Of course, this policy can easily be bypassed by any person who has access to fraudulent forms of identification, and/or a borrowed ID.
My mom couldn't afford to buy an air conditioner for her blazing hot, shitty apartment, so she rolled down to Fail-Mart to pick up a free rental window unit for the summer months. When the weather cools off, she'll probably return the AC unit and buy herself a nice warm coat from the same store. Oh wait, did I say 'BUY'? Silly me, I meant to say she'll get a FREE RENTAL!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 17, 2009
The practice of mixing odd flavors in the mouth simultaneously. Some examples of multitasting include eating a piece of citrus fruit too soon after brushing one's teeth, taking a hit off a beer while also chewing gum, or sucking on a breath mint while eating a wasabi-laden sushi roll.
While it is most often a manifestation of absent-mindedness, multitasting has also been deliberately practiced by people who 'just don't give a fuck.' These brave intentional multitasters have inspired humanity for generations innumerable. Kneel before Zod!
While it is most often a manifestation of absent-mindedness, multitasting has also been deliberately practiced by people who 'just don't give a fuck.' These brave intentional multitasters have inspired humanity for generations innumerable. Kneel before Zod!
Did you see that chick? She just popped a piece of gum in her mouth, chewed it like three times, and then downed half a diet soda. And now...I think...yes!...she's back to chewing the gum! What is this fucktardation?
That's called multitasting, and it is rather odd. But did you know that both the chewing gum and the soda contain a chemical poison called aspartame, which should never have been approved by the FDA?
No, do tell!
Well, it just so happens that Aspartame was passed despite FDA scientists' disapproval by none other than douche nozzle extraordinaire, Donald Rumsfeld.
According to a G.D. Searle's salesperson, Patty WoodAllott, Donald Rumsfeld stated "he would call in all his markers and that no matter what, he would see to it that aspartame be approved this year."
An interview with consumer attorney Jim Turner revealed how Donald Rumsfeld "called in his markers" as part of Reagan's transition team in 1981. This is why G.D. Searle felt compelled to reapply for aspartame's approval one day after Reagan's inauguration.
This is despite rejection of aspartame over brain tumors.
What a bunch of sweethearts, huh? I wish asshats Rumsfeld and that stupid band 311 would all go die in a fire.
That's called multitasting, and it is rather odd. But did you know that both the chewing gum and the soda contain a chemical poison called aspartame, which should never have been approved by the FDA?
No, do tell!
Well, it just so happens that Aspartame was passed despite FDA scientists' disapproval by none other than douche nozzle extraordinaire, Donald Rumsfeld.
According to a G.D. Searle's salesperson, Patty WoodAllott, Donald Rumsfeld stated "he would call in all his markers and that no matter what, he would see to it that aspartame be approved this year."
An interview with consumer attorney Jim Turner revealed how Donald Rumsfeld "called in his markers" as part of Reagan's transition team in 1981. This is why G.D. Searle felt compelled to reapply for aspartame's approval one day after Reagan's inauguration.
This is despite rejection of aspartame over brain tumors.
What a bunch of sweethearts, huh? I wish asshats Rumsfeld and that stupid band 311 would all go die in a fire.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 23, 2010
An awkward way to say 'killed' without saying it.
Spawned by self-censoring people on social media sites
who do not wish to face bot-consequences for using such a terrible word.
Spawned by self-censoring people on social media sites
who do not wish to face bot-consequences for using such a terrible word.
They say Jeffrey Epstein unalived himself, but let's be real for a minute.
12,300 children were killed in Gaza between October 2023 and February 2024,
but rather than stop a genocide,
we must police language and say that these kids were 'unalived'.
12,300 children were killed in Gaza between October 2023 and February 2024,
but rather than stop a genocide,
we must police language and say that these kids were 'unalived'.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 05, 2024