fapestry

a heavy handwoven reversible textile used for hangings, curtains, and upholstery and characterized by complicated pictorial designs, and covered in dried semen. A fapestry is usually the result of someone fapping onto the same tapestry over a long period of time until it becomes rigid enough to throw like a big square frisbee.

"I wouldn't lean up against the thing on my wall, there bro - it's got my baby batter all over it."

"What the fuck? Why didn't you warn me this thing was a fapestry before I put my hand on it?!?"

fapestry by Lârry Dângüs, esq. October 10, 2011

Get merch

Get the fapestry mug.

See more merch

flapestry

Extremely stretched-out labia.

Damn bro. Shes been around so much, her meat curtains have turned into a flapestry.

flapestry by ccorned beefor February 26, 2017

Get merch

Related Words

fapestry • flapestry

Serial Monogamist

Someone who jumps from one relationship immediately into another one.

Serial monogamists can not stand to be alone and often suffer from vast commitment and insecurity issues.

Because they jump into relationships immediately after the previous one has ended, serial monogamists typically don't take the time to reflect on their behavior or why their previous relationships failed; thus, they end up making the same relationship mistakes over and over again.

Person 1: Damn, Dustin already has a new girlfriend?! It's only been two weeks since he broke up with his fiance! I think he's a sociopath.

Person 2: No, he's a serial monogamist...

Serial Monogamist by Goody2Shuze March 6, 2016

Word of the Day on June 22, 2026

Get merch

liquid lunch

A lunchbreak comprised entirely of alcoholic beverages, and no food.

"With all the lay-offs that morning, it was rough. I hit the bar around the corner for a liquid lunch mid-day."

liquid lunch by Alexandra July 27, 2004

Word of the Day on June 21, 2026

Get merch

dunzo

Dunzo, a slang word for done/finshed. Made famous by the Laguna Beach cast.

This car is so dunzo. (Kristin's car breaks down.)

dunzo by Joey Pellet December 8, 2004

Word of the Day on June 20, 2026

Get merch

ankle biter

Someone or something that bites your ankles.
To a postman, an ankle biter is often known as a dog.
To an adult, an ankle biter may be a toddler.
To hikers, an ankle biter is sometimes a tick.
And so on.

"Dang ankle biter took off my whole leg!!"

ankle biter by the sane maniac February 2, 2004

Word of the Day on June 19, 2026

Get merch

Male Pattern Blindness

When a man will search for hours to find something that is laying out in the open on a table. Items are often easily found by a women.

Man: "I have been searching for hours for keys."
Woman: "You mean the ones sitting there on the coffee table?"
Man: "Where?"
Woman: "Right there in the middle of that table."
Man: "oh, must have been Male Pattern Blindness"

Male Pattern Blindness by diablo581 February 10, 2008

Word of the Day on June 18, 2026

Get merch