Krakky McKraken's definitions
A maneuver usually performed by, but not limited to, a Skape, when traveling down a hallway with other people. Similar in posture to the famous Heisman Trophy, with the exception that instead of clutching a football to the stomach area, the individual performing the Hallway Heisman will grasp the small of their back, in a hunched over position. The Hallway Heisman is mainly used to ward of approaching people, so as not to be bumped into due to a "back injury".
As soon as the Skape saw the Human Resources person coming, she suddenly stopped running and got into a Hallway Heisman position.
by Krakky McKraken November 11, 2008
Get the Hallway Heismanmug. 1. If you run out you can go get some in your Toyota Corolla.
2. Be careful not to get any on your feather boa.
3. You can eat some while while climbing to the top of Krakatoa.
4. Do you remember from the 80's the Ayatollah Assahola?
2. Be careful not to get any on your feather boa.
3. You can eat some while while climbing to the top of Krakatoa.
4. Do you remember from the 80's the Ayatollah Assahola?
by Krakky McKraken December 8, 2007
Get the Granolamug. A cheap, anal retentive moron who runs a mid-sized company. Insinuates himself into every little thing. Refuses to spend money to improve the firm but complains that things don't get done. Masturbates to the junk mail he gets. Also sick twisted disturbed fuck.
Daisy Mae: Do we have any diskettes?
Zeke: We used to. I was told by management we weren't using what we had so I couldn't get my order for more approved.
Daisy Mae: What a sick twisted fuck.
Zeke: We used to. I was told by management we weren't using what we had so I couldn't get my order for more approved.
Daisy Mae: What a sick twisted fuck.
by Krakky McKraken November 5, 2006
Get the sick twisted fuckmug. Office busybody who gets off by sticking her nose into everyone else's business. Always digging in the dirt.
Zeke: Hey Clem, Joan was askin' 'bout you again.
Clem: What the hell is she, an aardvark? Always stickin' that snout where it ain't wanted. What business is it of hers?
Clem: What the hell is she, an aardvark? Always stickin' that snout where it ain't wanted. What business is it of hers?
by Krakky McKraken November 5, 2006
Get the aardvarkmug. Possibly apocryphal paramour of the Skape. May bear a striking resemblance to certain film stars. Only appears once a year, at certain holiday feasts.
Clem: Have you met Alfred, the Skapegoat?
Zeke: Why's he the Skapegoat?
Clem: 'Cuz a goat will eat anything.
Zeke: Why's he the Skapegoat?
Clem: 'Cuz a goat will eat anything.
by Krakky McKraken November 5, 2006
Get the Skapegoatmug. Sub-species of wigger, a white kid from a middle-class suburban family who acts like he hails from the Hood. A Funky Phantom is usually too busy recovering from rollin' with his homies (hence the "funky") to bother coming into work, thus causing problems even though he's usually invisible (hence the "phantom"). Is out of work two days a week and takes half-days the other three. Is all "Yo, keepin' it real" and thinks he's the ultimate babe magnet; whenever he talks to a woman his voice drops to a deep whisper and he practically climbs on them in his efforts to seduce them. Claims he likes people who are brutally honest but basically lives one gigantic lie, fo' shizzle.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A FUNKY PHANTOM
Funky: Yo, Allison, how's 'bout you and I go 'cross the street to the store and you can shizzle my dizzle bizzle?
Allison: Um, sure, sounds like fun, whatever it means!
Funky: Ya ya, I'm gonna be "keepin' it real" with my ho here for a while, G. You holds down the fort while I do my thang.
Me: Cut the crap, "homey." You ain't a playa, and the only crime you ever committed was stealing an extra Oreo outta the cookie jar when you were ten. AND you've already taken ten "breaks" today.
Funky: Yo, G! Why you gotta be hatin', Dawg? {dropping the act} Uh, my stomach hurts...I gotta go home...see ya tomorrow...
Funky: Yo, Allison, how's 'bout you and I go 'cross the street to the store and you can shizzle my dizzle bizzle?
Allison: Um, sure, sounds like fun, whatever it means!
Funky: Ya ya, I'm gonna be "keepin' it real" with my ho here for a while, G. You holds down the fort while I do my thang.
Me: Cut the crap, "homey." You ain't a playa, and the only crime you ever committed was stealing an extra Oreo outta the cookie jar when you were ten. AND you've already taken ten "breaks" today.
Funky: Yo, G! Why you gotta be hatin', Dawg? {dropping the act} Uh, my stomach hurts...I gotta go home...see ya tomorrow...
by Krakky McKraken August 4, 2007
Get the Funky Phantommug. Worse than a sick twisted fuck. Worse than a sick twisted disturbed fuck. A sick twisted disturbed *psychotic* fuck is so vile, so putrid, so *unbearable* that no punishment in hell is sufficient to destroy him. Cheap. Crazy. Chases everybody around with inscrutable, mind-numbing questions. Mumbles when he talks and has so little love for his own family he'll ruin everyone else's lives in retaliation. The kind of deranged freak you want to crucify in an empty swimming pool and set on fire. You want to sit his kids on his chest, then pull his scrotum up over his head, forcing his kids to gnaw their way free.
STDPF: Hi, I was in on Sunday & I found these boxes of old envelopes. I know they have our old, old address on them but I figure you can just scratch that out with a pencil and use them, what does it matter, who opens them anyway, just a fucking secretary? If you could do that to every envelope, I think there's 1500 of them, get that done by lunchtime, that'll be great.
(slurps coffee)
STDPF: Now, I found these three boxes of pencils, so if you want to sharpen them all, I know they're kinda old and don't have erasers but I think people might want to use them, they write really well and maybe you can even use them to scratch out our old addresses! Now here...here are 8 boxes of letterhead with my name on each sheet, if you could just cross my name off of them we can use them for official correspondence and that way we can save a few bucks and maybe get you some part-time help a few months from now maybe a high school kid in the afternoon after school but you're doing a great job as it is-----
Clyde: Would you shut *up*, you sick twisted disturbed psychotic FUCK?
(slurps coffee)
STDPF: Now, I found these three boxes of pencils, so if you want to sharpen them all, I know they're kinda old and don't have erasers but I think people might want to use them, they write really well and maybe you can even use them to scratch out our old addresses! Now here...here are 8 boxes of letterhead with my name on each sheet, if you could just cross my name off of them we can use them for official correspondence and that way we can save a few bucks and maybe get you some part-time help a few months from now maybe a high school kid in the afternoon after school but you're doing a great job as it is-----
Clyde: Would you shut *up*, you sick twisted disturbed psychotic FUCK?
by Krakky McKraken June 26, 2008
Get the sick twisted disturbed psychotic fuckmug.