Kofi's definitions

plain vanilla

(derived from ice cream's standard basic flavour): humorous term for the enjoyment of "straightforward" sexual intercourse, most obviously in the routine missionary position. If the phrase is used, the implication is normally that the enjoyment is somewhat limited, when perhaps other "flavours" might have been welcomed .... (Note: See also "chocolate and vanilla")

A: "So, how's the new girlfriend?"
B: "Oh, all right."
A: "What's the problem?"
B: "She's only interested in plain vanilla."
A: "Hell, man, give her time. You didn't expect a blowjob on the first date, did you?!"

by kofi June 30, 2003

shag

can mean rough tobacco, or else amateur beach-style dancing in the US. But in the main UK sense, as noun or verb, is an alternative to "fuck" ... but with a slight, important difference of effect. To some ears, "fuck" (like "bang") can sound like an aggressive act, and/or violent conquest, whereas "shag" (a softer sound) sounds more like an enjoyable fun activity. "Shag" is still often the preferred term among women who are very keen on "shagging", very much enjoy shagging men (and/or women) and getting shagged themselves. But don't so much want to get "fucked" (though if talking about another woman, especially a rival, it may well be a different story!). (Note also: "fucking" can also suggest "meddling" or "cheating", "fucked" is also associated with "broken" or "finished", "had it" - "shagged" is used simply to mean "very tired" .... one more reason for the preference by some people for "shag" over "fuck"!)

Tracy to Sharon at a party: "Don't know about you ge-ww, but I need a good stiff shag right away".
Sharon: Yeah, so do I, but steer clear of that Darren, Trace, he just fucks ge-wws an' leaves 'em on their arses!
Tracy (eyes lighting up): Oh yeah? Which one's him then, Shazz?
Sharon (laughs out loud): Come on ge-ww, surely even YOU can do better than DARREN, ya randy little slag?!!!

by kofi May 14, 2003

Butterfly

intercourse fucking position. A variation of missionary: the man rises slightly more above the woman, and "floats freely" into her, and either he holds her calves (or feet) or she holds her knees folded back against her body and wide apart, to give him the maximum possible entry. Advantages: Man can ride high, right up to the womb; he can probe her very widely; extremely submissive female position and free dominant male role can excite both. Disadvantages: Can be strenuous: for extended sessions only lithe, fit bodies need apply!; also, not the best position for friction against ticklish ridges and main G-spots at front of the ridden cunt

Tracy loves butterfly, but only with manly men - and not on a full stomach!

by kofi May 12, 2003

Rag Week

(Everything Umbongo says is 80% true and 100% funny, but he could have added:) RAG WEEK is traditionally a part of the British university calendar. It is a fund-raising week for the poor and disadvantaged (not themselves), where students try to palm off funny writings, and (say) push toilets along the main street of town, swallow ugly-looking fluids, or try to set up new Guinness records for bedhopping, for fun and public cash. Errrr, but apart from that usual stuff, they give some of the resulting money to local or larger charitable organisations, such as the SLC (Student Loans Company).

A: So what are you doing for Rag Week?
B: I think I'll just stay in bed.
A: Have you got sponsorship for that?
B: No, but I have got a whoppin hangover.

by kofi May 15, 2003

teen

someone between the ages of thirTEEN and nineTEEN (d'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!)

"Twelve-year-olds are far too young for the teen scene, and don't trust anyone over 20"

by kofi May 19, 2003

nympho

1. see nymph definition 2
2. someone (usually of a woman) who bizarrely seems to want to have sex with others but to leave out the speaker

A: Did you hear, Tracy's desperately trying to get a bunckh of guys together together for a gangbang at her place this weekend.
B: What? I thought the bitch'd had three different boyfriends this week alone!
A: Yeah, exactly, but that's a nympho for ya!
B: ... So d'you think we could maybe wangle an invite out of her?

by kofi May 9, 2003

one-night stand

Sexual activity with another person intended for one night only. (Derives from showbiz, a "one-off show". But also of course from the suggestion of a one-off erection, though the term is used by women as well as men as a candid description of "getting your rocks off" when a bit of no-strings fucking etc. was desired.

“I've never had a one-night stand because I've always been afraid that in the cold light of day, she'll wake up and think; "Oh my God! What the hell am I doing in bed with a stupid cunt like this?!”

by kofi May 14, 2003