Klopek007's definitions
Achy Breaky Hannah is a name for the process which that hot little piece of jailbait Miley Cyrus and/or her pointless alter-ego will soon undergo. Following in the footsteps of Britney Spears, her weight will balloon up, she'll get knocked up by a trailer-trash wigger and drink heavily during the pregnancy, make numerous public appearances going commando in a short dress, enter/quit rehab at least five times, and finally be found in bed one morning with an empty bottle of pills and an empty bottle of rum.
Once Miley completes the long process of Achy Breaky Hannah, she'll just be yet another one of the garden-variety pop-stars who all sound exactly alike and yet somehow draw tons of pre-teen fans. At least it's still a bigger accomplishment than her one-hit-wonder father.
by klopek007 January 26, 2010
Get the Achy Breaky Hannahmug. While it may one day be possible in the future, sex change is but a myth in this day and age. Even though it is legally recognized, so-called "sex change surgery" is in reality nothing more than genital mutilation and body modification followed by hormone treatments.
It goes by many fanciful, inventive, politically correct names: sex reassignment surgery, sex reassignment therapy, gender reassignment, genital reconstruction surgery, or sex affirmation surgery.
But the pure and simple fact is that people conceived with XX chromosomes are female, and people conceived with XY chromosomes are male. There is currently no known medical procedure to change this in any way. Changing sex will be possible when and if such technology is developed, but until such time it remains a myth.
It goes by many fanciful, inventive, politically correct names: sex reassignment surgery, sex reassignment therapy, gender reassignment, genital reconstruction surgery, or sex affirmation surgery.
But the pure and simple fact is that people conceived with XX chromosomes are female, and people conceived with XY chromosomes are male. There is currently no known medical procedure to change this in any way. Changing sex will be possible when and if such technology is developed, but until such time it remains a myth.
Normal Man: Sorry, but you were born a man, and I'm strictly heterosexual, therefore I want nothing to do with you.
Disfigured Man: But I had sex change surgery! I'm legally a woman now!
Normal Man: No, you're just a feminine-looking man with XY chromosomes and mutilated genitals. Not interested.
Disfigured Man: But I had sex change surgery! I'm legally a woman now!
Normal Man: No, you're just a feminine-looking man with XY chromosomes and mutilated genitals. Not interested.
by klopek007 March 24, 2010
Get the sex changemug. A long distance bandwagon fan is a specific variety of bandwagon fan. Typical bandwagon fans are local, they ignore the particular sport altogether when their local team is doing poorly, and suddenly become superfans when they're doing well. Meanwhile, long distance bandwagon fans will become superfans of any team in the country when they're doing well, and then just as quickly pick a different team when the tables are turned.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
Some prime examples of teams with great numbers of long distance bandwagon fans are: San Francisco 49ers in the 80s, Edmonton Oilers in the 80s, Dallas Cowboys in the 90s, Chicago Bulls in the 90s, Atlanta Braves in the 90s and early 2000s, New York Yankees in the late 90s and 2000s, and Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s.
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
by klopek007 January 24, 2010
Get the long distance bandwagon fanmug. The theory that gay people in the United States enjoy living on this tips of peninsulas, which is quite possibly a subconscious phallic desire. For proof, look at three different cities: San Francisco, Provincetown, and Key West. All three are known for high percentages of gay residents, thriving gay tourism, and prominent gay pride parades; and all three are located at the tips of peninsulas.
Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
No doubt uptight ignorant people will cry "homophobia" when they read this, but there is nothing offensive about gay peninsula theory.
by klopek007 March 14, 2010
Get the gay peninsula theorymug. In the opening days of February 2010, a person or persons unknown started a stupid new trend on facebook and myspace that swept through like an avalanche. Countless people posted the following status: "Go to urbandictionary.com, type in your first name, copy and paste this in your status and the first entry for your name under comments."
This resulted in a huge influx of traffic on UD, which bogged down the site and crashed it a few times, because everyone thought it was so cool to post a glowing definition of their first name, which was submitted by some asswipe years ago. Of course, none of these lame first name definitions should have been approved in the first place, as per the UD guidelines which so many people ignore.
And yet, the worst was not over. After this, countless people began submitting first name definitions, which fell into two categories: glowing definitions of oneself or a friend, or slanderous definitions of an enemy. It was up to the editors to ensure the future of UD....
This resulted in a huge influx of traffic on UD, which bogged down the site and crashed it a few times, because everyone thought it was so cool to post a glowing definition of their first name, which was submitted by some asswipe years ago. Of course, none of these lame first name definitions should have been approved in the first place, as per the UD guidelines which so many people ignore.
And yet, the worst was not over. After this, countless people began submitting first name definitions, which fell into two categories: glowing definitions of oneself or a friend, or slanderous definitions of an enemy. It was up to the editors to ensure the future of UD....
Oh man, I remember staying up all night during the Great FB/MS Laming of UD Crisis of 2010, rejecting as many lame-ass self-serving first name definitions as I could. It seemed like they would never end. I only wish we could remove all the ones from years ago, but most have too many votes and are thus "too popular" to be nominated for removal.
Dumbass: OMG!!! This is soooo awesome! UD says I'm a wonderful, sexy, intelligent person! That's great, but I think I'll submit and even better and more specific one! And then a mean one about the girl that pushed me at recess today!
UD Editor: I'll reject them all. Please stop contributing to the Great FB/MS Laming of UD Crisis of 2010.
Dumbass: Noooo!!! I'm shallow and weak and I need this self-esteem boost!
Dumbass: OMG!!! This is soooo awesome! UD says I'm a wonderful, sexy, intelligent person! That's great, but I think I'll submit and even better and more specific one! And then a mean one about the girl that pushed me at recess today!
UD Editor: I'll reject them all. Please stop contributing to the Great FB/MS Laming of UD Crisis of 2010.
Dumbass: Noooo!!! I'm shallow and weak and I need this self-esteem boost!
by klopek007 February 5, 2010
Get the Great FB/MS Laming of UD Crisis of 2010mug. NON-BIASED DEFINTION: In recent years, in the U.S. only, a red state has come to mean a state that traditionally votes Republican, as opposed to a blue state which traditionally votes Democrat.
In the past, media would use maps with red for one party and blue for the other, with no set standard. The current trend was set during the 2000 Presidential election, when NBC used it. The race was very close, and because of this, Tim Russert was often heard to say things like "Bush needs x more red states in order to win, and Gore needs x more blue states in order to win." Because the coverage was being watched so intently by so many people, the color scheme stuck, and is now used by all networks.
What many people don't realize is that this color scheme is actually the opposite of traditional political colors. Red has always been associated with socialism and communism (i.e. extreme forms of liberalism) as seen on flags of countries such as the P.R.C., the U.S.S.R., and the D.P.R.K. On the other hand, blue is most often associated with conservatism, and sometimes facism (i.e. the extreme form of conservatism). Most nations still use this color scheme.
It may be that NBC assigned these colors at random, or it may be because Republican and red both start with R. Neither party has officially adopted these colors. This color scheme has often led to confusion when residents of other countries see a political map of the U.S. or hear Americans discussing red states versus blue states.
In the past, media would use maps with red for one party and blue for the other, with no set standard. The current trend was set during the 2000 Presidential election, when NBC used it. The race was very close, and because of this, Tim Russert was often heard to say things like "Bush needs x more red states in order to win, and Gore needs x more blue states in order to win." Because the coverage was being watched so intently by so many people, the color scheme stuck, and is now used by all networks.
What many people don't realize is that this color scheme is actually the opposite of traditional political colors. Red has always been associated with socialism and communism (i.e. extreme forms of liberalism) as seen on flags of countries such as the P.R.C., the U.S.S.R., and the D.P.R.K. On the other hand, blue is most often associated with conservatism, and sometimes facism (i.e. the extreme form of conservatism). Most nations still use this color scheme.
It may be that NBC assigned these colors at random, or it may be because Republican and red both start with R. Neither party has officially adopted these colors. This color scheme has often led to confusion when residents of other countries see a political map of the U.S. or hear Americans discussing red states versus blue states.
When I hear the term "red state" I automatically think of China or North Korea, not Texas or Utah. It's such a pet peeve that the U.S. got red state and blue state backwards!
by klopek007 November 11, 2009
Get the Red statemug. Television series that's a thinly veiled attempt to capitalize on the success of High School Musical and American Idol. Annoying popular.
Girl: OMG!!! Did you see Glee last night?!?
Guy: No, and the next person that asks me will be sorry they did.
Guy: No, and the next person that asks me will be sorry they did.
by klopek007 February 21, 2010
Get the Gleemug.