klopek007's definitions
A fake news show on Comedy Central that was once really quite funny, similar to Weekend Update on SNL. However, it steadily became less and less about general news and on-location segments with crazy people, and instead became more and more about just politics, until it was little more than left wing propaganda and frankly not even remotely funny. This change was largely due to the application of the Jon Stewart formula.
Man1: Do you remember when The Daily Show used to be funny?
Man2: Just barely. I have some very foggy memories in the back of my head of what The Daily Show was like before it started sucking bigtime.
Man2: Just barely. I have some very foggy memories in the back of my head of what The Daily Show was like before it started sucking bigtime.
by klopek007 March 6, 2010
Get the The Daily Show mug.An attempt by atheists to mock anyone that disagrees with them. The basic concept is a response to the logical statement: "it is impossible to prove the non-existence of a deity or deities." Essentially, supporters of the FSM concept state that it's also impossible to prove the non-existence of something completely arbitrary and ridiculous, such as a flying spaghetti monster, and thus there's no reason to believe in the FSM just for that reason alone.
Obviously the argument is extremely weak and doesn't really hold water. But what's disturbing is the utter contempt, disrespect, and intolerance (and in some cases, hatred) these people have for anyone that disagrees with them. They refuse to go by the principles of live-and-let-live and do-unto-others. They will counter this assertion by arguing that religious people never live-and-let-live and are always forcing religion onto people. This is of course false, and only applies to a very small minority of religious people (such as the nutjobs at the WBC) and thus is a prime example of smearing people with a vastly over-generalized statement.
Most won't admit it, but they resent the fact that most modern nations allow freedom of religion for all. Ultimately, they would like to see this right taken away someday.
Obviously the argument is extremely weak and doesn't really hold water. But what's disturbing is the utter contempt, disrespect, and intolerance (and in some cases, hatred) these people have for anyone that disagrees with them. They refuse to go by the principles of live-and-let-live and do-unto-others. They will counter this assertion by arguing that religious people never live-and-let-live and are always forcing religion onto people. This is of course false, and only applies to a very small minority of religious people (such as the nutjobs at the WBC) and thus is a prime example of smearing people with a vastly over-generalized statement.
Most won't admit it, but they resent the fact that most modern nations allow freedom of religion for all. Ultimately, they would like to see this right taken away someday.
The flying spaghetti monster concept is just one of very many examples of the hateful mockery that some (but certainly not all) atheists direct at religious people, which has become rampant in our society in recent decades. This frightening level of contempt, intolerance, and hatred is eerily similar to the attitudes in Germany towards Jews in the decades leading up to the Holocaust. Of course, your average German citizen would never have believed you if you told them what was eventually going to happen.
by klopek007 January 27, 2010
Get the Flying Spaghetti Monster mug.While it may one day be possible in the future, sex change is but a myth in this day and age. Even though it is legally recognized, so-called "sex change surgery" is in reality nothing more than genital mutilation and body modification followed by hormone treatments.
It goes by many fanciful, inventive, politically correct names: sex reassignment surgery, sex reassignment therapy, gender reassignment, genital reconstruction surgery, or sex affirmation surgery.
But the pure and simple fact is that people conceived with XX chromosomes are female, and people conceived with XY chromosomes are male. There is currently no known medical procedure to change this in any way. Changing sex will be possible when and if such technology is developed, but until such time it remains a myth.
It goes by many fanciful, inventive, politically correct names: sex reassignment surgery, sex reassignment therapy, gender reassignment, genital reconstruction surgery, or sex affirmation surgery.
But the pure and simple fact is that people conceived with XX chromosomes are female, and people conceived with XY chromosomes are male. There is currently no known medical procedure to change this in any way. Changing sex will be possible when and if such technology is developed, but until such time it remains a myth.
Normal Man: Sorry, but you were born a man, and I'm strictly heterosexual, therefore I want nothing to do with you.
Disfigured Man: But I had sex change surgery! I'm legally a woman now!
Normal Man: No, you're just a feminine-looking man with XY chromosomes and mutilated genitals. Not interested.
Disfigured Man: But I had sex change surgery! I'm legally a woman now!
Normal Man: No, you're just a feminine-looking man with XY chromosomes and mutilated genitals. Not interested.
by klopek007 March 24, 2010
Get the sex change mug.Plumper is a term used by women who want to feel good about their unhealthy obesity because they're too lazy to diet and exercise. Unfortunately for them, they won't have very long to enjoy feeling good about being fat, as they will likely be dead from a massive coronary before the age of 50.
It's no surprise that the term plumper was invented in the United States. Because, sadly, we have BY FAR the highest obesity rate on the planet. And instead of solving the problem, we invent terms like this so that people feel good about themselves, even when they get winded by waddling to the freezer for their daily quart of ice cream.
On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
by klopek007 May 20, 2008
Get the plumper mug.The theory that gay people in the United States enjoy living on this tips of peninsulas, which is quite possibly a subconscious phallic desire. For proof, look at three different cities: San Francisco, Provincetown, and Key West. All three are known for high percentages of gay residents, thriving gay tourism, and prominent gay pride parades; and all three are located at the tips of peninsulas.
Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
No doubt uptight ignorant people will cry "homophobia" when they read this, but there is nothing offensive about gay peninsula theory.
by klopek007 March 14, 2010
Get the gay peninsula theory mug.A long distance bandwagon fan is a specific variety of bandwagon fan. Typical bandwagon fans are local, they ignore the particular sport altogether when their local team is doing poorly, and suddenly become superfans when they're doing well. Meanwhile, long distance bandwagon fans will become superfans of any team in the country when they're doing well, and then just as quickly pick a different team when the tables are turned.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
Some prime examples of teams with great numbers of long distance bandwagon fans are: San Francisco 49ers in the 80s, Edmonton Oilers in the 80s, Dallas Cowboys in the 90s, Chicago Bulls in the 90s, Atlanta Braves in the 90s and early 2000s, New York Yankees in the late 90s and 2000s, and Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s.
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
by klopek007 January 24, 2010
Get the long distance bandwagon fan mug.Achy Breaky Hannah is a name for the process which that hot little piece of jailbait Miley Cyrus and/or her pointless alter-ego will soon undergo. Following in the footsteps of Britney Spears, her weight will balloon up, she'll get knocked up by a trailer-trash wigger and drink heavily during the pregnancy, make numerous public appearances going commando in a short dress, enter/quit rehab at least five times, and finally be found in bed one morning with an empty bottle of pills and an empty bottle of rum.
Once Miley completes the long process of Achy Breaky Hannah, she'll just be yet another one of the garden-variety pop-stars who all sound exactly alike and yet somehow draw tons of pre-teen fans. At least it's still a bigger accomplishment than her one-hit-wonder father.
by klopek007 January 26, 2010
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