33 definitions by klopek007

A long distance bandwagon fan is a specific variety of bandwagon fan. Typical bandwagon fans are local, they ignore the particular sport altogether when their local team is doing poorly, and suddenly become superfans when they're doing well. Meanwhile, long distance bandwagon fans will become superfans of any team in the country when they're doing well, and then just as quickly pick a different team when the tables are turned.

They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
Some prime examples of teams with great numbers of long distance bandwagon fans are: San Francisco 49ers in the 80s, Edmonton Oilers in the 80s, Dallas Cowboys in the 90s, Chicago Bulls in the 90s, Atlanta Braves in the 90s and early 2000s, New York Yankees in the late 90s and 2000s, and Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s.

LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
by klopek007 January 24, 2010
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She told me that her friend was voluptuous, and she could fix me up with her. I said no thanks.
by klopek007 July 10, 2006
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NON-BIASED DEFINTION: In recent years, in the U.S. only, a red state has come to mean a state that traditionally votes Republican, as opposed to a blue state which traditionally votes Democrat.

In the past, media would use maps with red for one party and blue for the other, with no set standard. The current trend was set during the 2000 Presidential election, when NBC used it. The race was very close, and because of this, Tim Russert was often heard to say things like "Bush needs x more red states in order to win, and Gore needs x more blue states in order to win." Because the coverage was being watched so intently by so many people, the color scheme stuck, and is now used by all networks.

What many people don't realize is that this color scheme is actually the opposite of traditional political colors. Red has always been associated with socialism and communism (i.e. extreme forms of liberalism) as seen on flags of countries such as the P.R.C., the U.S.S.R., and the D.P.R.K. On the other hand, blue is most often associated with conservatism, and sometimes facism (i.e. the extreme form of conservatism). Most nations still use this color scheme.

It may be that NBC assigned these colors at random, or it may be because Republican and red both start with R. Neither party has officially adopted these colors. This color scheme has often led to confusion when residents of other countries see a political map of the U.S. or hear Americans discussing red states versus blue states.
When I hear the term "red state" I automatically think of China or North Korea, not Texas or Utah. It's such a pet peeve that the U.S. got red state and blue state backwards!
by klopek007 November 11, 2009
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YSJK = You Should Just Know. YSJK-itis is an infliction that can affect anyone, but it's seen most often in your girlfriend/fiancee/wife. It occurs when she's extremely pissed off at you and acting like a total bitch, but refuses to tell you why, because "you should just know."

The person afflicted is usually oblivious to the fact that the other person is completely unable to apologize or fix anything until they know what the problem is. Symptoms can persist for hours or even days.
Man 1: My girlfriend has just been insufferable lately, but no matter how I ask she refuses to tell me why.
Man 2: Sounds like she's suffering from YSJK-itis.
Man 1: Yeah, totally. I'd like to see women pull that shit with doctors or mechanics.
by klopek007 February 22, 2010
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An example of political correctness run amok. The idea is to replace the terms BC and AD (Before Christ and Anno Domini) with the secular terms BCE and CE (Before Common Era and Common Era). Common Era may also be referred to as Christian Era or Current Era.

The change is completely pointless, except to placate the politically correct crowd. The numbering of years is kept the same, but the terms are changed to avoid association with Christianity, and evidentily pretend like the numbering of years started arbitrarily. The numbering comes from the estimated birth of Jesus. For the sake of ease and convenience, the entire world has adopted the Christian calender, regardless of what religion or non-religion we all are, so why pretend otherwise?

If the politically correct crowd really wants to make a completely secular calender, then we'd also have to do away with the names of the months (Roman Paganism), having seven days a week (Judaism), and re-number the years by placing year 1 somewhere different than it is now (Christianity).
Don't try to tell me to use that BCE and CE crap. It's BC and AD, regardless of what you believe or disbelieve. If you don't like it, then feel free to persuade the entire population of the world to adopt a brand new, completely overhauled calender.
by klopek007 March 3, 2010
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A condition that affects some atheists, though certainly not all; primarily the ones who are intolerant of religion. Essentially, they take the activities of the westboro baptist church (or WBC) and try to apply them to all Christians, or even to all religious people. The WBC is an extemist hate group, and it is very important to note that they reject, and are rejected by, all other Christian denominations.

This condition may be unintentional, and therefore born out of ignorance; or it may be intentional, and therefore born out of malice.
Stupid person: I hate Christians! All Christians protest all the time with signs that say "God hates fags", and they always disrupt funerals and tell everyone that they're going to hell!
Smart person: No, moron, that's only the westboro baptist church, and no other Christians. You're clearly suffering from WBC-itis.
Stupid person: What? I don't understand!
Smart person: I know you don't.
by klopek007 February 23, 2010
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The theory that gay people in the United States enjoy living on this tips of peninsulas, which is quite possibly a subconscious phallic desire. For proof, look at three different cities: San Francisco, Provincetown, and Key West. All three are known for high percentages of gay residents, thriving gay tourism, and prominent gay pride parades; and all three are located at the tips of peninsulas.

Granted, Key West is technically part of an archipelago and not a peninsula, but US Route 1 connects the entire island chain to the mainland, so for practical intents and purposes, the keys form a peninsula.
No doubt uptight ignorant people will cry "homophobia" when they read this, but there is nothing offensive about gay peninsula theory.
by klopek007 March 14, 2010
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