Killing Kittens's definitions

human

A spiritually insane, emotinally retarded, and megalomaniacal primate with an immense inferiority complex. It is ill-suited to survive in its environment, so instead of adapting as other species it changes the environment, for ill of everything including itself. It is a species that will surely go extinct in the next thousand years, a victim of its vaulting own success.

Don't blame us, we're only human.

by Killing Kittens May 19, 2004

empirical

Of, or relatining to evidence accepted by empiricism. The fallacy of believing that nothing exists except what is proven by scientific evidence, of which there is no scientific evidence to prove; an arbitrary decision to to narrow the bounds of reality to the bounds of the scientific method.

"A trillion years ago we were a civilization like any other. We believed in the transmittance of souls, the Virgin matrix, the infallibility of Pi Squared, looked upon prayer as a regenerative feedback to the Great Programmer, and so on and so forth. But then skeptics appeared, empiricists and accidentalists, and in nine centuries they came to the conclusion that There's No One Up There At All and consequently things happen not out of any higher plan or purpose, but--well, they just happen." --Stanislaw Lem, from "The Cyberiad"

by Killing Kittens May 18, 2004

Metallivore

An underrated and largely unknown Speed/Thrash metal band that formed sometime in 1994, the founder, Dave Burton, claims he knew Metallica and Megadeth before they were in their respective bands, and so has drawn lots of inspiration from them.

Dave Burton is both singer and lead guitarist, and currently tours with Jay Houston (guitars), Ted Manley (bass), and Sean Cuniff IV (drums).

Some of their former members included Eric Avalon (a drummer who later left in 1996 and joined some viking metal band called 'Vikingness') Andy Rickman (their talented lead bassist who died during a tragic accident involving a tour bus in 1997) and Colin Elfman (a guitarist who used to be in Dr. Punch, and left in 2001).

Metallivore's three known albums include:

Puppers Sell Peace but the Master says No (1996)

Lightning is My Business . . . and the Ride is Good (1998)

The Countdown does Justice for all Extinction (2000)

They haven't officially disbanded, despite the now poisonous relationship betwixt Dave and Sean, but Metallivore hasn't enjoyed much success over the years and it doesn't look like their sales warrant enough to justify another tour. We can only hope that they'll show up to a few concerts in New England, though.

Metallivore will be playing soon with Immaculate Deception, Sauropod, and Asteroid. I can hardly wait!

by Killing Kittens October 27, 2004

Hope

The delusion that your situation is not as objectively bad as it is.

Hope is the fruitless denial of the more realistic pessimism.

by Killing Kittens January 17, 2005

dinosaurs

I sincerely hope Phrigajiblenophip's definition was a joke.

See my definition of 'Dinosaur' and ByThorsBeard's definition of 'Scale of Dinosaurs'.

Alarmingly, a recent poll showed that 51% of Americans believe that dinosaurs and early man lived at the same time.

by Killing Kittens October 26, 2004

creepy

By far the most common adjective predicated to quiet people who don't smile.

Is that a creepy thing to be?

by Killing Kittens September 10, 2004

Weirdos never start

An alternative to Nice Guys Finish Last.

What then, makes you a weirdo or a nice guy?

by Killing Kittens November 15, 2004