Kickolaus Nage's definitions
A caucasian who has adapted the cultural signifiers of an african american. The adaptation is usually superficial, shallow, and based on one of any number of racial stereotypes.
by Kickolaus Nage October 8, 2021
Get the Caucegromug. A sign of genetic trust. Your body spends so much energy trying to keep unwanted microbes out, that for you to combine your oral environment with someone else’s is like two countries just opening borders and letting the populations mingle. The problem is, humans are not very selective about who they kiss. Have some alcohol, then add another human with symmetrical features and signifiers of youth and willingness to mate, and kissing will occur. Now the problem is not what most germaphobes fear- systemic illness, nay my friend, the problem is bacteria associated with periodontal disease and caries. Lets say you have a healthy mouth- you brush and floss daily, you keep the sugary drinks down- then you go to a party, get drunk, and make out with Mike the Man whore, Bam! Unbeknownst to you, Mike has generalized chronic moderate periodontitis and rampant decay. Your mouth is then flooded with bacteria associated with these conditions. These bacteria are highly virulent and greatly increase your risk of coming down with the same oral diseases. Oh, and your mouth will not “go back to normal” after a few days, Oh no my friend, these bacteria have been INTRODUCED! They are reproducing like crazy- setting up nice cozy homes in biofilms and gingival sulcuses! Because of your impulse to pass your genes on with what your primitive “ID” considers a good partner, you have allowed the equivalent of an ecological disaster to start in your mouth. Hope you know a good periodontist!
Bob: Last year my periodontal diagnosis was “healthy”. This year they told me I need monthly scaling and root planing.
Sally: Well, I did see you kiss that rando at the party.
Sally: Well, I did see you kiss that rando at the party.
by Kickolaus Nage October 13, 2021
Get the Kissmug. Pronounced like the first part of “Yogie Bear”. Refers to the loose skin between one’s thumb and pointer finger. When the thumb is extended it creates a very slight webbed effect.
Bob: Goddamn it! I just got a paper cut on my yog!!!!!!!
Sally: Put some lemon juice on it- it will feel better!
Sally: Put some lemon juice on it- it will feel better!
by Kickolaus Nage October 8, 2021
Get the Yogmug. The fourth iteration of the Age of Wonders video game series. The best 4X game ever made. Builds upon and improves the already great Endless Legends game. First, each planet is procedurally generated with climates, biomes, resources, landmarks, exploration sites, anomalies, hazards, and marauder spawners. There are eight playable races all with very asymmetrical units, doctrines, technologies and unit mods. Each race uses two weapon types each with their own tech tree. There are seven secret technologies that can be combined with any race, each with its own doctrines, units, unit mods, and doomsday weapons. There are six npc factions the player can ally or war with, each with its own recruitable group of doctrines, techs, mods, and five unit types. All on a beautiful detailed world map that makes Endless Legend maps look like a pile of hot garbage. There’s an empire mode with tons of unlocks and challenges. All of the above with random world event and a world invading alien race that can appear randomly to change the game.
by Kickolaus Nage October 13, 2021
Get the Planetfallmug. A stand in for war. In modern society, there are certain anachronistic human traits that persist, despite their lack of adaptiveness. One is the need for some sort of territorial conflict. Football teams are named after, and have stadiums in, certain geographic areas (eg the “Oakland Raiders”) to create the illusion that they are, somehow representative of this area. All, or almost all, of the players and coaches are inevitably not from this area, but the naming scheme is enough of a paper thin veneer to allow anyone in the entire state to arbitrarily consider this “their” team. This feeds into the irrational impulse for territorial struggle or even war while maintaining decorum. Also makes millions of dollars.
Bob: What do you think of the Seattle Seahawks football team?
Sally: Well, despite the fact that everyone on the team is from the deep south, I am from Seattle and thus live vicariously through them.
Sally: Well, despite the fact that everyone on the team is from the deep south, I am from Seattle and thus live vicariously through them.
by Kickolaus Nage October 8, 2021
Get the Footballmug. An evolutionary display of fitness. A way to show the opposite gender that you are free of disease and have a relatively high number of desirable genetic traits. A way to advertise one’s, not only high level of evolutionary fitness, but also youth and willingness to mate.
Person A: Wanna go dancing?
Person B: No thanks, I prefer my Fallopian Tubes sperm free at this time.
Person B: No thanks, I prefer my Fallopian Tubes sperm free at this time.
by Kickolaus Nage October 8, 2021
Get the Dancingmug. A huge electronics store with two employees on the floor who are not cashiers. The two employees will keep at least a 50 foot buffer between themselves and any customer at all times. They will studiously avoid eye contact. If you find the item you are looking for, it will always cost 10X as much as it does on amazon- that is in no way an exaggeration. If you foolishly decide to push on with your purchase, you will first have to navigate a 300 yard long single path labyrinth of garbage impulse buy items. Be sure to take a water bottle and use the restroom before entering. These items can range from the worst (yet still overpriced) generic usb cord ever made, to expired corn nuts. When you do make it to the cashier, you will be pressured relentlessly to purchase an “extended warranty” on whatever you are buying- even if it is just the aforementioned corn nuts. The intense pressure to purchase said warranty will be interminable. It will be worse than the “coffee is for closers” scene in Glen Gary Glen Ross. If you survive this, you will be given a 6 foot long receipt in case you need to “return” the item(s). Return is in quotes as it is purely hypothetical, No one in recorded history has ever succesfully returned an item to Best Buy.
Bob: Hey, where should we hang out tonight?
Sally: I was thinking either Best Buy or the sixth circle of Hell.
Bob: OK, Hell it is!
Sally: I was thinking either Best Buy or the sixth circle of Hell.
Bob: OK, Hell it is!
by Kickolaus Nage October 8, 2021
Get the Best Buymug.