An evolutionary display of fitness. A way to show the opposite gender that you are free of disease and have a relatively high number of desirable genetic traits. A way to advertise one’s, not only high level of evolutionary fitness, but also youth and willingness to mate.
Person A: Wanna go dancing?
Person B: No thanks, I prefer my Fallopian Tubes sperm free at this time.
Person B: No thanks, I prefer my Fallopian Tubes sperm free at this time.
by Kickolaus Nage October 08, 2021
A caucasian who has adapted the cultural signifiers of an african american. The adaptation is usually superficial, shallow, and based on one of any number of racial stereotypes.
by Kickolaus Nage October 08, 2021
The manifestation, in human form, of the irrational fears of non-college educated white people in the early 21st century. These fears have to do with a demographic shift away from a white majority toward a more truly multi racial society. The fear and uncertainty this breeds- though having a small kernal of truth to it only in the sense that, yes, demographics are changing, are grossly and hysterically exaggerated by said white population. The core of this is clearly rooted in good old fashioned racism. As it is not culturally acceptable to admit to racism, the fear comes out as “Covid vaccines are a hoax”, “Mexicans are taking all the jobs”. and “Obama is a Muslim”- laughable, hilariously tissue- paper thin covers for what’s really going on.
1:Bob: The family that just moved in next door is slightly different than me in either appearance or cultural practice.
Sally: Donald Trump 2024
2:Bob: I’m not racist or anything, but Obama was a horrible president due to some small thing he did or didn’t do that has nothing to do with his race.
Sally: Ya, and Donald Trump was awesome despite all the lying, not doing his job, misuse of the office of president etc etc. But again let me emphasize WE’RE NOT RACIST- heaven forefend that someone might even imply for one second that we are even slightly racist!
Sally: Donald Trump 2024
2:Bob: I’m not racist or anything, but Obama was a horrible president due to some small thing he did or didn’t do that has nothing to do with his race.
Sally: Ya, and Donald Trump was awesome despite all the lying, not doing his job, misuse of the office of president etc etc. But again let me emphasize WE’RE NOT RACIST- heaven forefend that someone might even imply for one second that we are even slightly racist!
by Kickolaus Nage October 13, 2021
A religion that posits that an supernatural being created humanity. Said being then decided to kill every human on the planet except a few (Noah and his family)- even though this being KNEW when he made humanity that they would behave in a manner that would compel him to commit, not just genocide, but near extinction of the ENTIRE human race. Later, this god had a “son”. Rut roh- now we’re claiming that God had a “son” but we CAN’T become like those nasty polytheists. Thus the concept of “the Trinity” arose. According to the Christians, god the Father, for some reason, needed Jesus to die because again, humanity is imperfect. Well, Jesus did, in fact die, but according to the Christians, that STILL wasn’t good enough. After he died, people still HAVE to somehow be able to discern and follow the correct minutia of theology. Guess what, even though the son of god (supposedly) died for you sins, if you were born in a non-christian country or to a non-christian family, or if your Christianity is “off” in some nebulous way, god will condemn you to AN ETERNITY of spiritual and physical suffering. All this despite the fact that god supposedly made us to be this way and had the foresight to know this is exactly how we would turn out- nope, an eternity of suffering for you. Also, in America at least, Christianity involves loving guns and flags.
Hey Bob, I love Christianity so I don’t like gay people. Never mind that I ignore literally every other rule in the old testament as well as the entire new testament.
by Kickolaus Nage October 08, 2021
A stand in for war. In modern society, there are certain anachronistic human traits that persist, despite their lack of adaptiveness. One is the need for some sort of territorial conflict. Football teams are named after, and have stadiums in, certain geographic areas (eg the “Oakland Raiders”) to create the illusion that they are, somehow representative of this area. All, or almost all, of the players and coaches are inevitably not from this area, but the naming scheme is enough of a paper thin veneer to allow anyone in the entire state to arbitrarily consider this “their” team. This feeds into the irrational impulse for territorial struggle or even war while maintaining decorum. Also makes millions of dollars.
Bob: What do you think of the Seattle Seahawks football team?
Sally: Well, despite the fact that everyone on the team is from the deep south, I am from Seattle and thus live vicariously through them.
Sally: Well, despite the fact that everyone on the team is from the deep south, I am from Seattle and thus live vicariously through them.
by Kickolaus Nage October 08, 2021
An elaborate sexual practice involving three women, two men, a pogo stick, several marijuana cigarettes, a bigfoot costume, and a Marionberry Pie from Shari’s.
Bob: I can’t believe Ed died last week. He was only 23!
Sally: The last thing he told me was he was going to try an Oregon Top Hat.
Sally: The last thing he told me was he was going to try an Oregon Top Hat.
by Kickolaus Nage October 08, 2021
A huge electronics store with two employees on the floor who are not cashiers. The two employees will keep at least a 50 foot buffer between themselves and any customer at all times. They will studiously avoid eye contact. If you find the item you are looking for, it will always cost 10X as much as it does on amazon- that is in no way an exaggeration. If you foolishly decide to push on with your purchase, you will first have to navigate a 300 yard long single path labyrinth of garbage impulse buy items. Be sure to take a water bottle and use the restroom before entering. These items can range from the worst (yet still overpriced) generic usb cord ever made, to expired corn nuts. When you do make it to the cashier, you will be pressured relentlessly to purchase an “extended warranty” on whatever you are buying- even if it is just the aforementioned corn nuts. The intense pressure to purchase said warranty will be interminable. It will be worse than the “coffee is for closers” scene in Glen Gary Glen Ross. If you survive this, you will be given a 6 foot long receipt in case you need to “return” the item(s). Return is in quotes as it is purely hypothetical, No one in recorded history has ever succesfully returned an item to Best Buy.
Bob: Hey, where should we hang out tonight?
Sally: I was thinking either Best Buy or the sixth circle of Hell.
Bob: OK, Hell it is!
Sally: I was thinking either Best Buy or the sixth circle of Hell.
Bob: OK, Hell it is!
by Kickolaus Nage October 08, 2021