Jon's definitions

assmuffin

A small creature that crawls into your anal cavity and proceeds to create muffins at his leisure. Mind you, these are no ordinary muffins. Once created, there is only one way for the muffins to exit your rear.

Damn that assmuffin made muffins in my ass.

by Jon November 28, 2003

msn

Money Snatching Network. Due to the fact that this "Network" is powered by an "unreliable power source", namely "hamsters and chipmunks running on exercise wheels", this network has been known to experience severe downtimes. Especially during "peak usage", more than five people.

-Mr. Gates, when did you realize you were creating a monopoly?
-Monopoly's just a game, Senator, I'm trying to control the fucking world.

by Jon August 11, 2004

Grinspork

Some odd tall lanky kid with no life

"Man that guy Grinspork, sits on his computer all day"

by Jon June 8, 2003

investment biker

n. 1.A person who attempts to hide their button-down, 9-5 life by dressing in leather and riding a motocycle on the weekend.

{conjunction of "investment banker" and "biker"; coined by Jon of Austin, TX}

That guy on the Harley sporting the latest J. Crew closed-toe sandle is such an investment biker.

by Jon June 5, 2004

Paraduck

A teenage boy who does nothing but powerlevel in a MMORPG, post news articles about the MMORPG, and whose idea of roleplaying ends at pretending people like him.

Paraduck is a waste of carbon.

by Jon February 4, 2004

Homer Seckshwul

A prank call name. Use it on a bartender.

You: I'm looking for Mr. Seckshwul. First name, Homer

Bartender to customers: Hey, is there a Homer Seckshwul in here?

Customers: *laughs*

BArtender: *gets mad*

by Jon December 22, 2004

cell phone

A number you should NEVER EVER give to your boss.

Trust me on this one

by jon June 19, 2005