John Heinz Kerry's definitions

celica

Car owned by a stupid ass who can't spell people or Celica. See urbtards.

Damn! I shoold pay moor atenshun in skool so I coold lurn to spel goodur.
Dumbass.

by John Heinz Kerry March 10, 2005

turban

The best way to tell when an Arab has reached the age where he can control his bowels. He takes the diaper off his ass and sticks it on his head.

I think Aknad is wearing the new Pampers turban today.

by John Heinz Kerry April 13, 2005

Black Year

Similar to a light year, this is the distance a black person, traveling at the typical lazy-black-person-I-have-nowhere-to-be speed, covers over the course of a year. Equal to approximately three feet.

Maybe you could be at work on time if you'd travel a little quicker than a Black Year.

by John Heinz Kerry November 10, 2005

Amalance

A vehicle that takes an ebonics-speaking person to the hospital.

Pronounced "am-b-you-lance" by the English-speaking (read - "educated") world.

Tameka! We gots to get to the hospital! The amalance just camed and brang Jamaal and Dujuan ova dere.

by John Heinz Kerry January 19, 2006

dweeb

This is actually an acronym for the phrase "dick with eyebrows," you dummmies. You are calling someone a walking penis.

You are all dweebs because you did not know the origins of the word you thought you were defining.
See urbtards.

by John Heinz Kerry November 10, 2004

add

A crutch created by psychologists and used by American parents and teachers to avoid telling a child that he or she is a moron.

But, if there are no stupid kids, where do all the dumbass adults come from?

It's okay Eric, you got four F's on your report card because you have add, not because you're a fucking dummy.

by John Heinz Kerry December 4, 2006

1836

The "name" of Houston's newly transplanted MLS team. Officially qualifies as the stupidest, most idiotic, fucked-up name for a sports team in human history. 3 brain-damaged cavemen and a colony of ants could've come up with a better name.

The name ain't so great when it takes 30 minutes and a Texas history class to explain it.

Neal: Go . . . uh, what's the name of our team again?

Bob: It's 1836.

Neal: Oh, right. Go 1836!!!

by John Heinz Kerry January 26, 2006