Jfman's definitions

Panty Liner Line

The unfortunate horizontal marking across a woman’s abdomen when she wears ridiculously tight yoga pants while simultaneously wearing a panty liner.

Dude, check out that babe in the yoga pants...oh...she’s got a panty liner line!

by Jfman November 16, 2018

Pee Flow Tree

The process of deciding whether or not to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

I really have to pee. But I don’t want to get out of bed. I wonder if I can make it through the night without having an accident? Is it really that bad to have an accident? No one will know. I probably need to change the sheets anyway. Maybe I should just go ahead and get up to pee now since I’m awake after going through this pee flow tree.

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Millennial

Some who only knows Sarah McLachlan as that sad animal lady.

Me: I still think “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” is one of the greatest albums ever made.
Millennial: You mean, Sarah McLachlan, I thought she just wrote songs about abused animals.

by Jfman December 25, 2018

Selfie Shock

The unexpected sensation one gets when using their phone to take a picture, only to discover that they left the camera in selfie mode.

Ohh, I want a picture of,… who the hell is that? Oh, it’s just me giving myself a Selfie Shock

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Breast Redaction

A tattoo across a woman’s chest that is partially obscured by her clothes.

Excuse me mam, could you please take off your top? Due to Breast Redaction, I can’t read your tittoo.

by Jfman August 9, 2018

Gyno-Meteorologist

1. Made up profession that studies how weather patterns impact the female reproductive system.
2. What I tell strangers when they ask what I do and I want to end the conversation.

Stranger: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I’m a Gyno-Meteorologist
Stranger: ...

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Pharmamotion

A specific type of slow motion used in prescription medication commercials to show how much happier people are once they start taking said drug. Side affects include boredom, changing the channel, and/or an irrational fear of having whatever disease the drug treats.

Bill: Change the channel, I hate these pharmamotion commercials.

Fred: But I might need Diflucan.

Bill: Dude, you don’t even have a vagina.

by Jfman August 5, 2018