jfman's definitions

Breast Redaction

A tattoo across a woman’s chest that is partially obscured by her clothes.

Excuse me mam, could you please take off your top? Due to Breast Redaction, I can’t read your tittoo.

by Jfman August 9, 2018

Selfie Shock

The unexpected sensation one gets when using their phone to take a picture, only to discover that they left the camera in selfie mode.

Ohh, I want a picture of,… who the hell is that? Oh, it’s just me giving myself a Selfie Shock

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Pharmamotion

A specific type of slow motion used in prescription medication commercials to show how much happier people are once they start taking said drug. Side affects include boredom, changing the channel, and/or an irrational fear of having whatever disease the drug treats.

Bill: Change the channel, I hate these pharmamotion commercials.

Fred: But I might need Diflucan.

Bill: Dude, you don’t even have a vagina.

by Jfman August 5, 2018

Gyno-Meteorologist

1. Made up profession that studies how weather patterns impact the female reproductive system.
2. What I tell strangers when they ask what I do and I want to end the conversation.

Stranger: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I’m a Gyno-Meteorologist
Stranger: ...

by Jfman August 30, 2018

Feated

Shortened version of “undefeated” by cancelling the double negative. Defeated means not winning so undefeated means not not winning. Feated=winning.

My team is 4 and 0. They are totally feated

by Jfman October 11, 2020

Humanbumps

On a goose, the condition of their skin when they are in a cold environment and temporarily get little bumps on their skin. Equivalent to goosebumps on a human.

It’s so cold that all the geese have humanbumps.

by Jfman August 30, 2018

newt

a word that originates in Springfield Illinois describing the people who reside on the north side of town, went to Lanphier high school, and are uneducated, dimwitted, nascar watching dirtbags. North End White Trash

joe dirt/ dale earnhart/kid rock

by jfman January 4, 2005