17 definitions by jfman
I really want some avocado toast, but my avocados are old and I'm scared to see what's inside them. I guess I have advers-ocado.
by jfman April 16, 2021
I really have to pee. But I don’t want to get out of bed. I wonder if I can make it through the night without having an accident? Is it really that bad to have an accident? No one will know. I probably need to change the sheets anyway. Maybe I should just go ahead and get up to pee now since I’m awake after going through this pee flow tree.
by jfman August 30, 2018
1. Made up profession that studies how weather patterns impact the female reproductive system.
2. What I tell strangers when they ask what I do and I want to end the conversation.
2. What I tell strangers when they ask what I do and I want to end the conversation.
by jfman August 30, 2018
Person 1 - Where's Matt?
Person 2 - He's home looking at the JCPenney site for a new coupon. He has FOMO YOLO BOGO.
Person 2 - He's home looking at the JCPenney site for a new coupon. He has FOMO YOLO BOGO.
by jfman June 27, 2018
Damnit, we’re out of cookies. All we have is an 8-year old box of Nilla Wafers in the back of the pantry.
by jfman August 9, 2018
I had to throw away someone else’s K-Cup and fill the reservoir, just to get a cup of coffee. But that’s OK, I don’t mind showing some Keurig Courtesy.
by jfman August 30, 2018
A specific type of slow motion used in prescription medication commercials to show how much happier people are once they start taking said drug. Side affects include boredom, changing the channel, and/or an irrational fear of having whatever disease the drug treats.
Bill: Change the channel, I hate these pharmamotion commercials.
Fred: But I might need Diflucan.
Bill: Dude, you don’t even have a vagina.
Fred: But I might need Diflucan.
Bill: Dude, you don’t even have a vagina.
by jfman August 5, 2018