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Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

miss of the season

1. term used by commentators to describe a footballers sometimes hilarious miss.

2. term used by friends to mock a male who has failed to shag the town bike
John Motson: "Rooney, Giggs and Ronaldo, now surely, Ye - Oh - no! miss of the season. Piss poor shot from Ronaldo

Kev: "As if you didn't bang Sally, she is soo easy!"
Gav: "Yea but i forgot my rhohypnol"
Kev: "Oh, mate, miss of the season!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 19, 2006
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tip-off

A tip off is a handy piece of information given by one to another. Tip-offs have been used in history (see the examples).
Regular tip-off;
"Look out Bill, he's a Queer."

Historical tip-off;
"Look, here, Hitler has said Peace in our time!"
"Nah, bollocks nev, he's a Queer."
by Jeffrey Douglas November 23, 2006
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bottle opener

The key to a cold, refreshing and delicious paradise.
The worst thing to forget when going camping.
One lads night out in a tent...
Jake: "Finally, now where's that bottle opener!?"
Bill: "<Rummage> OH SHIT!"
Jake: "You wonky bollocks bastard!"
by Jeffrey Douglas December 6, 2006
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daft bint

Naive female, often perceived as stupid. One who would buy Chantelle's biography and label it a "good read".
Sarah: "That iraq place must be really hot!"
Dave: "Why so?"
Sarah: "Well, look at these pictures! It is so hot there these cars just catch on fire!"
Dave: "You daft bint. Iron my shirt, wench!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
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stonewall penalty

A complete, absolute and certain penalty kick in football.
A defender shooting a forward in the penalty area with a BAZOOKA is a stonewall penalty.
by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006
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big hit

A powerful awesome tackle in rugby that will seriously hurt your opponent and make him think twice before trying to run past you with the ball again!
Iain Roberts: "And it's Lottie Tuqiri breaking down the right, and ... ouch.... ooh... a BIG HIT from Sean Lamont! He won't be getting up from that. Look at that dent in the turf now! Oh, what a mess."
by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006
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fuckshitfuckshitfuck

Exclamation. describing state of panic.
fuckshitfuckshitfuck could be used for the following;

Opening a parachute but to no effect.

Realising you did not pay attention to your instructions on your exam paper and forgot to answer BOTH questions.

Putting your hand in your back pocket to pay your tab at a bar to discover you never took your wallet.

Having your johnny burst during private time with the missus.

Looking at the black guy using the urinal next to you, who is incidentally twice your size, with you dressed for a party as a grand wizard of the K.K.K.
by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006
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