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Jeffrey Douglas's definitions

burden

Noun. Something that weighs you down. Usually a worry or a sore point you don't share with close friends or orangutangs.

You can also be a burden on someone else when you try and talk about your problems and worries to someone else.
Physical Hang ups, girlfriends, wife (wives) or debt. all of these are burdens.

Hayley: "I'm worried!"
Steve: "Shut up you have so many burdens! Don't become a burden yourself!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 15, 2006
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Unicycle Wheelchair

Arguably one of the better NASA fields of expertise. When the space race was on and it was Uncle Sam vs U.S.S.R, Astronaut vs Cosmonaut and Cats vs Dogs, the need for unicycle wheelchairs became apparant, and Mr. Nasa was once quoted saying, after they had been developed, "i don't know how we ever got by without them"

The Unicycle wheelchair was brought into the commercial sector at the very second the bee gees popularised close harmonic singing in tight trousers. Although, like toasters, expensive at first, the next christmas every household had one. The ratio in Belgium at the time of Michael Moore's conception was 12 unicycle wheelchairs to every 5 people with cheshire cats.

Through these developing years, people began to tamper with NASA's creation. Gentleman would "PIMP" or "ICE" their "RIDES" by adding "HARDCORE" propulsion systems and a "SICK" paint job. Ladies were not so intent on being the flyest mutha so were content with fluffy dice and a sombrero.

Today they are popular still, especially around buckingham palace.
"Unicycle Wheelchairs are essential for respiration"

"Is it a bird?"
"Is it a plane?"
"No, by Jove, its a unicycle wheelchair"
by Jeffrey Douglas August 12, 2006
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Mole

A) a scientific term used to describe the amount of substance in grams, which has the same number of particles as there are in 12g of carbon 12. One mole of a substance contains 6.023x10`23 particles. This is obviously rad as it shows how tiny atoms and particles really are. They are smaller than bridget the midget and also smaller than the public's estimation of Jeremy Clarkson.

B) a small furry creature who is proficient at destroying peoples gardens and being short sighted.
Jenkins: "I love the whole idea of a mole. How incredible!"
Peter: "How so?"
Jenkins: "Just think, it makes a boy of 4ft9" look HUGE"

Mole #1: "I'm a mole"
Farmer: "Should have gone to specsavers"
by Jeffrey Douglas September 8, 2006
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Anti-clockwise

The way of left handed people. The opposite direction to how the little ticky things go on your spiderman themed wristwatch.

Many things go anti-clockwise, however to list them would make the world implode.
Craig: "That girl was seriously hot! It's a shame that she walks around that lamp post in an anti-clockwise fashion."

David: "To be fair.. she is left handed."

Craig: "Urgh..."
by Jeffrey Douglas February 10, 2007
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bottle opener

The key to a cold, refreshing and delicious paradise.
The worst thing to forget when going camping.
One lads night out in a tent...
Jake: "Finally, now where's that bottle opener!?"
Bill: "<Rummage> OH SHIT!"
Jake: "You wonky bollocks bastard!"
by Jeffrey Douglas December 6, 2006
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stonewall penalty

A complete, absolute and certain penalty kick in football.
A defender shooting a forward in the penalty area with a BAZOOKA is a stonewall penalty.
by Jeffrey Douglas November 25, 2006
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daft bint

Naive female, often perceived as stupid. One who would buy Chantelle's biography and label it a "good read".
Sarah: "That iraq place must be really hot!"
Dave: "Why so?"
Sarah: "Well, look at these pictures! It is so hot there these cars just catch on fire!"
Dave: "You daft bint. Iron my shirt, wench!"
by Jeffrey Douglas November 5, 2006
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