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Jayophonic's definitions

homo-shopping

The act of allowing your wife or girlfriend to pull you away from the TV to go shopping during a major sporting event.
Your buddy: Yo, did you see the Phillies' locker room celebration after they beat the Dodgers in the NCLS?
You: No, I had to go homo-shopping for curtains with the little lady!
by Jayophonic November 13, 2009
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Sanitary iPad

A personal ladies' Apple product designed for monthly entertainment.
Helen: "I'm not feeling well, I have the monthly visitor".
Anne: "Why not strap on the Sanitary iPad for some personal entertainment".
by Jayophonic January 27, 2010
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Tiger Tales

Stories, jokes and articles about Tiger Woods' sexual escapades.
Caddie: " Hey, did you hear the one about Tiger and the three hookers?"
Duffer: "No, tell me; I can't get enough of those Tiger Tales."
by Jayophonic December 12, 2009
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Skip Chicks

The alter ego of your "afraid to commit" friend, who you have never seen with a woman.
Huey: Hey man, there's a fine looking lady over there that seems to be giving you the come hither look.
Dewey: I'm not sure about that, she seems out of my league.
Huey: Dude, I'm gong to start calling you by your other name, Skip Chicks.
by Jayophonic July 21, 2011
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Internet Lesbian

A straight hot woman willing to do girl on girl sex for a chance to become famous in the internet porn world.
I wouldn't mind taking a shot at that Internet Lesbian and testing her true sexual identity.
by Jayophonic May 7, 2009
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lekfart

The combination of lekvar, a thick prune puree used to fill cakes or cookies and the rectal elimination of gas. Commonly referred as a wet fart or shart, this is socially unacceptable and uncomfortable.
Ted: Yo Dude, it looks like you have some lekvar running down your leg.

Fred: Damn, I was trying to sneak one out, but it was a lekfart. Help me find a toilet.
by Jayophonic January 23, 2011
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Ophiuchuian

People born under the new thirteenth astrological sign. Dates range from November 30th to December 17th.
Joe: Hey, I'm born under that new astrological sign Ophiuchus, which makes me an Ophiuchuian instead of a Sagittarian.
Moe: Dude, it makes no difference for you. You're still a stupid puddle of a homeless man's urine.
by Jayophonic January 16, 2011
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