Definitions by Jake in NYC

wikipedia 

An online pseudo-encyclopedia that is run by a bunch of pimply-faced teenaged nerds and 40 year old obese virgins living in the mothers' basements. On this particular website, truth isn't based upon the facts but rather upon majority opinion.

Wikipedia is a steaming pile of BS, run by a bunch of lusers.

wikipedia by Jake in NYC January 25, 2008

snatch defeat from the jaws of victory

To lose when winning is an absolutely sure thing. See John Kerry's bid for the U.S. Presidency in 2004.

In 2004, John Kerry became the ultimate example of how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by Jake in NYC October 10, 2006

Open minded

An ability to not dismiss an idea with sneering contempt, simply because it does not fit within your preconceived notions.

Rather than preaching an intolerant ideal of "tolerance" you should strive to be more open minded.

Open minded by Jake in NYC May 4, 2006

ute 

Short for uterus. A derogatory term for describing a woman, as it implies that her only useful purpose is producing offspring.

Jane's only talent is having kids. She's a real ute.

ute by Jake in NYC January 11, 2006

Charlize Theron 

Born August 7, 1975, in Benoni, South Africa, this award-winning actress is considered by many to be the most beautiful woman alive.

That Stuart Townsend is one lucky SOB to be living with the likes of Charlize Theron.

Charlize Theron by Jake in NYC December 29, 2005

John Holmes 

An adult film star who got his start in pornographic films in the 1960s. Holmes was born John C. Estes, August 8, 1944, in Pickaway County, Ohio. He died March 13, 1988, of complications related to AIDS. Holmes was widely publicized as having a penis ranging from 12.5 to 18 inches, though adult stars routinely inflate their measurements. A recent attempt at discerning his length by comparing images of his penis to images of his other body parts produced a figure of 8.75 inches. The 1997 film "Boogie Nights" is loosely based upon Holmes' life.

John Holmes was one of the great stars of the Golden Age of Porn.

John Holmes by Jake in NYC December 29, 2005

Connie Lingus 

The feminine equivalent of Phil Atio.

Joe is such a loser. He swears his new girlfriend's name is actually Connie Lingus.

Connie Lingus by Jake in NYC December 28, 2005