Jake's definitions

tampon

A compacted tubular-shaped piece of cotton with a plastic applicator that women insert into their vagina when they're having their period.Has a string on the bottom end to allow retrieval after a few hours. The string hangs out beyond the labia, so if you're wearing a thong and a short skirt, make sure the string doesn't show when you bend over.

he: I don't mind buying condoms but don't try sending me for tampons or pads just because you didn't plan on ever having another period !

by Jake February 20, 2004

cop a feel

To feel up a girl when she isn't expecting it, that is, grasp her tits or grab her in the crotch (and if a finger shud happen to enter her vagina, so much the better !!)

Best time to cop a feel is in a crowded place so you can run off and can't be found. When I went to my family reunion my 3rd cousin once removed was in a crowd and her juicy peaches were calling me, so I ran up, coped a feel and ran away to the punch table 2 aisles over. Later in the day I grabbed her crotch and my middle finger just happened to slip into her cunt.

by Jake February 19, 2004

troll

vertically-challenged person with accentuated body features

There was a troll down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The troll went to the doctor and told her about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and she would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
&g! t; "Aha!" mumbled the doc and, as she put her finger under the right testicle, she asked the midget to cough again.
"Aha!" said the doctor again, and reached for her surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The troll was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the troll to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
The troll was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?" The troll replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."

by Jake February 18, 2004

rogering

To have sexual (vaginal) intercourse with.

(if she comes, its "a good rogering")

David: "Lawd, Jimmy, see that babe with the 38D's and that micro-skirt...damn, she needs a good rogering with an uncut penis."

Jimmy: "David, I've already rogered her with my 6-1/2" dick!"

by Jake February 18, 2004

cloud nine

that altered state (of mind) into which the male is elevated when his girlfriend gives him a tantalizing, long, slow blow job which seems so perfect that he wishes to die rather than return to reality on Earth.

I was on Cloud Nine when she blew me, then licked the last drop off my tip and swallowed my cum.

by Jake February 17, 2004

aubergine

adjective; colour, deep purple associated with the commonly available type of eggplant

Nancii's bedroom was painted aubergine; my resolve not to touch her was toast as soon as she sat on the edge of her bed.

by Jake February 17, 2004

sleep with

euphemism for "fuck"

She let me sleep with her.

by Jake February 17, 2004