Jake's definitions

captain jack

A mixed drink consisting of equal parts Captain Morgan rum and Jack Daniels whisky. Get it?

-I puked so much last night!

-Yeah, Captain Jack will do that to you.

by Jake February 9, 2005

troll

vertically-challenged person with accentuated body features

There was a troll down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The troll went to the doctor and told her about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and she would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
&g! t; "Aha!" mumbled the doc and, as she put her finger under the right testicle, she asked the midget to cough again.
"Aha!" said the doctor again, and reached for her surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The troll was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the troll to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
The troll was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?" The troll replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."

by Jake February 18, 2004

nut

(verb) to ejaculate

"If you don't stop sucking it I'm gonna nut !"

"We were just playing around with our clothes off when all of a sudden he rolled over on top of me, got into me, and nutted."

"He was so eager he nutted in my bush."

by Jake March 23, 2004

shoobie

a word refering to tourists. Often used by surfers, shateboarders, and snowboarders. Especially when the tourists interefere with the sport. Often thought of in a negative light.

So much for catching any good waves, too many shoobies.

for more on shoobies check out flamingbarbie.tk

by Jake January 28, 2004

safe

(noun) a condom

I slipped on a safe before I entered her.Decided to keep my sperm to myself.

by Jake January 19, 2004

schlitz

To breath and spit.

The retarded kid schlitzed all over me when he was speaking.

by Jake March 29, 2003

brown

Adjective: Being hungry. The evolution of saying "I'm Hungus Brown"

Verb: browning, brown.

Noun: "Hey, I'm pretty brown"
Verb: "You all want to go brown?"
Verb: "Let me call you back after I'm done browning"

by jake July 2, 2004