JOSH's definitions

optimus prime

How I refer to my male reproductive organ.

"I went to my friends house where he sucked the red paint off of my optimus prime"

I was about to murder an african-american with my weapon of choice, a chainsaw, when he kicked my optimus prime and ran away with my tv.

by josh March 9, 2004

lollerpwned

The most humiliating defeat. The only honor-compensating action after you've been LOLLERPWNED is suicide. In ancient days, Samurai who suffered defeat were forced to commit suicide because the shame was believed to be physically unbearable. being LOLLERPWNED is that X lYke 300000!!!11

"d00d, I like screamo."
"like what?"
"You know, story of the year and atreyu"
"You wouldn't know screamo if Daughters knocked on your door with their instruments in one hand and their LSD in the other."

LOLLERPWNED

by Josh December 9, 2004

soccer

By far and unfortunately, the most popular sport in the world. These players get taken off in stretchers over a rolled ankle, they whine and complain and cry over the tiniest injuries. EVERYtime they fall, you can be sure they won't get up after a few minutes. Sure, it's straight running for 45 minutes for two halves. Who gives a shit? Cross Country you run A LOT more, but does that make Cross Country more of a sport than Soccer? Probably not. Then there's this moving backwards and passing backwards which means VERY LITTLE scoring which makes it impossible to watch. Yeah, only a true soccer fan can detect the eye-popping moves, not the case for the casual sports fan. Sure it takes a lot of skill, and I mean A LOT of skill to play soccer, but it's not very noticable and not very entertaining... at all. Oh, and no sport should EVER be a sport if it ends in a fucking TIE. Ties do not show what team is better and it's never worth watching 3 seconds of the match if you know it's going to end in a tie. Meanwhile, you got one handed touchdowns, slam dunks, and home runs. Then you got TOUGH athletes like Donovan McNabb playing on one leg, Brett Favre throwing TDs with 2 working fingers, and Richard Hamilton scoring 25 points with a broken face. Then there's Michael Jordan's last second shots and John Elway's last minute drives. There's not much you can expect in the last minute of soccer games. And yes, American Football players do wear pads. You say soccer doesn't need pads because that makes them tougher? Think again. Football is SO FUCKING TOUGH that you NEED to have pads. And even with pads, it still makes football a much tougher sport. You can't even compare soccer to football, so stop trying. Look, I'll admit soccer requires the most skill and the most eye coordination and is very exhausting. But that in any way or form of meaning DOES NOT MAKE IT BETTER OR MORE ENTERTAINING THAN OTHER SPORTS. The more you say or think about it, the more you are a disgrace to the wide wide wide world of sports.

Soccer is so boring, I'd much rather watch paint dry.

by Josh June 19, 2006

lappy

Short for laptop computer, especially old and outdated models.

What's your lappy weigh, like 42 pounds?

How many pictures of Parker Posey can you fit on your Lappy's 2 mb hard drive?

I bet I can hold my breath longer than your lappy's 5 minute battery life.

Your lappy looks like it's packing about 512k of RAM -- or am I a bit high?

Nice plastic rectangle -- erm, I mean, lappy.

My lappy 486 is the love of my life!

by Josh December 1, 2004

Gagne

The Closer for the Dodgers. Also Known as The Dog

Eric Gagne, a.k.a The Dog, got another save for the Dodgers tonight

by Josh August 13, 2004

<*((()><

a fish symbol

<*((()>< shark <*((((((()>< eel or <*((^(((()>^< shark

by josh June 10, 2004

The President

a very stupid person who runs the most powerful country in the world

my brother, George W. Bush

by Josh August 3, 2003