IsraelHands09's definitions
The one unwanted unworn pear of crusty jizz soaked feet-warmers found on the floor next to your computer's chassis. Used generally for emergency fap purposes when the girl's at work or too tired, or when you're single.
by IsraelHands09 January 26, 2011
Get the Fapsockmug. by IsraelHands09 September 8, 2013
Get the Candy Crushmug. A division of Google, and nothing else but a bunch of thieves. They offer to advertise on your site, and give you a share of mulah, letting your money build up. Then at the apex of your financial glory, they disable your account and "refund your money to the affected advertisers." AKA, you get jewed. Typically, they send you an e-mail with a bullshit reason saying your account is generating a risk of invalid activity, which may "financially hurt" advertisers (as though it will even scratch their surfaces). Google even has the nerve to say "thank you for your patience and understanding". Users are typically offered appeal forms, however, at the risk of not getting reinstated (or reinstated, then cancelled again) it isn't usually worth it.
Some people who have been shut down by AdSense have lost upwards of $3,000. Don't believe me? Then Google NCC Archives 219 and see what these happy people had to say.
by IsraelHands09 November 30, 2011
Get the AdSensemug. Despite the good food, is the absolutely worst fucking place to work, in which the day you get canned (like I did) or quit, you'll be celebrating with tears of JOY.
WORD TO THE WISE, after making a blizzard, the collars get thrown in a dirty ass sink full of water that has nasty ass soggy candy pieces and melted ice-cream from previous collars. The very same collars that are used again a second later and contaminate the ice cream with shitty disgusting water.
WORD TO THE WISE, after making a blizzard, the collars get thrown in a dirty ass sink full of water that has nasty ass soggy candy pieces and melted ice-cream from previous collars. The very same collars that are used again a second later and contaminate the ice cream with shitty disgusting water.
Friend 1: "Yo, Jake! You know Bob got canned from Dairy Queen the other day?"
Friend 2: "No shizzle? Why?"
Friend 1: "Well, he told me his boss is a fat douche who didn't even like him from the start, so he found some lame excuse saying he doesn't feel Bob is committed to his job, just to give him the boot. Never seen Bob so happy in my life though."
Friend 2: "Daaaayaaamnnn that shit's nuts man."
Friend 1: "Word. I guess he was tired of cleaning shit off the toilet seats."
Friend 2: "No shizzle? Why?"
Friend 1: "Well, he told me his boss is a fat douche who didn't even like him from the start, so he found some lame excuse saying he doesn't feel Bob is committed to his job, just to give him the boot. Never seen Bob so happy in my life though."
Friend 2: "Daaaayaaamnnn that shit's nuts man."
Friend 1: "Word. I guess he was tired of cleaning shit off the toilet seats."
by IsraelHands09 December 2, 2010
Get the Dairy Queenmug. A branch of obnoxious drivers who pack their cars with ridiculously powerful subs, and blast shitty, overly synthesized, "thumpy" rap music to assert their dominance. In most cases, thumpers can also be referred to as rattlers, due to the intensely low frequency vibrating shaky or loose parts in the car's frame, emitting an even more annoying rattling sound.
Friend 1: "I didn't get any damn sleep. Fucking thumpers kept strolling by my house".
Friend 2: "Dude, I know! Just this morning, I was sitting at a red light, and my rear-viewies were shaking from a thumper two cars behind me!"
Friend 2: "Dude, I know! Just this morning, I was sitting at a red light, and my rear-viewies were shaking from a thumper two cars behind me!"
by IsraelHands09 October 5, 2011
Get the Thumpermug. This happens when an individual is eating at a buffet, and hordes of people from (but not limited to) church, school, community groups/organizations, events, etc. arrive via charter bus, forcing others to get out of their seats and stock up on as much food items as they can carry, before the rest is lost to the eternal multitude of hungry, rude, and moody crowds pushing and shoving their way to culinary salvation.
Mother: "Hey kiddo! How was CiCi's with Garry?"
Son: "Ehhh... it sucked ass honestly...buffet raid plundered through the food, so Garry and I hardly got to eat anything. We tried to get up and stock on food, but people started trying to take our seats, so we just left."
Son: "Ehhh... it sucked ass honestly...buffet raid plundered through the food, so Garry and I hardly got to eat anything. We tried to get up and stock on food, but people started trying to take our seats, so we just left."
by IsraelHands09 June 6, 2011
Get the Buffet Raidmug. This occurs when an individual is in the kitchen or somewhere away from their Television and they hear a voice on the TV that sounds distinctly similar to that of Daniel Tosh, the host of the funny-as-hell video clip show Tosh.o. Thus, out of sheer instinct, the individual will run to his/her television in dissapointment to find that it is just some guy on 50 Star Stand-Up Weekend.
Man, last night I've been having mad Toshallucinations like every ten minutes. I was barely able to get any fucking sleep!
by IsraelHands09 July 7, 2010
Get the Toshallucinationmug.