IsraelHands09's definitions
by IsraelHands09 September 8, 2013
Get the Candy Crushmug. The one person who walks into the bathroom that is a total germophobe about toilet seats. So to subdue their fears, they use "SafeTGard" toilet seat covers, often leaving them there when they're done for the pending shitter to have to sweep off the toilet seat.
Husband walking out of the bathroom:
Wife: "Hey honey, did you have a nice shit?"
Husband: "Well, I would have if those damn SafeTGard twats would learn to clean up after themselves."
Wife: "Hey honey, did you have a nice shit?"
Husband: "Well, I would have if those damn SafeTGard twats would learn to clean up after themselves."
by IsraelHands09 October 1, 2010
Get the SafeTGard twatmug. A branch of obnoxious drivers who pack their cars with ridiculously powerful subs, and blast shitty, overly synthesized, "thumpy" rap music to assert their dominance. In most cases, thumpers can also be referred to as rattlers, due to the intensely low frequency vibrating shaky or loose parts in the car's frame, emitting an even more annoying rattling sound.
Friend 1: "I didn't get any damn sleep. Fucking thumpers kept strolling by my house".
Friend 2: "Dude, I know! Just this morning, I was sitting at a red light, and my rear-viewies were shaking from a thumper two cars behind me!"
Friend 2: "Dude, I know! Just this morning, I was sitting at a red light, and my rear-viewies were shaking from a thumper two cars behind me!"
by IsraelHands09 October 5, 2011
Get the Thumpermug. Despite the good food, is the absolutely worst fucking place to work, in which the day you get canned (like I did) or quit, you'll be celebrating with tears of JOY.
WORD TO THE WISE, after making a blizzard, the collars get thrown in a dirty ass sink full of water that has nasty ass soggy candy pieces and melted ice-cream from previous collars. The very same collars that are used again a second later and contaminate the ice cream with shitty disgusting water.
WORD TO THE WISE, after making a blizzard, the collars get thrown in a dirty ass sink full of water that has nasty ass soggy candy pieces and melted ice-cream from previous collars. The very same collars that are used again a second later and contaminate the ice cream with shitty disgusting water.
Friend 1: "Yo, Jake! You know Bob got canned from Dairy Queen the other day?"
Friend 2: "No shizzle? Why?"
Friend 1: "Well, he told me his boss is a fat douche who didn't even like him from the start, so he found some lame excuse saying he doesn't feel Bob is committed to his job, just to give him the boot. Never seen Bob so happy in my life though."
Friend 2: "Daaaayaaamnnn that shit's nuts man."
Friend 1: "Word. I guess he was tired of cleaning shit off the toilet seats."
Friend 2: "No shizzle? Why?"
Friend 1: "Well, he told me his boss is a fat douche who didn't even like him from the start, so he found some lame excuse saying he doesn't feel Bob is committed to his job, just to give him the boot. Never seen Bob so happy in my life though."
Friend 2: "Daaaayaaamnnn that shit's nuts man."
Friend 1: "Word. I guess he was tired of cleaning shit off the toilet seats."
by IsraelHands09 December 2, 2010
Get the Dairy Queenmug. The act of pushing your car's turn signal stick up and down in sync with the actual tempo of your car's turn signal. (Troll effect best achieved in multi-directional turn lanes and middle lanes of highways.)
by IsraelHands09 December 24, 2010
Get the Mystery Blinkermug. "Hey Joe, did you hear Osama Bin Laden was killed?"
Joe: "It's what you get for F**KING WITH AMERICA"
Joe: "It's what you get for F**KING WITH AMERICA"
by IsraelHands09 May 25, 2011
Get the Osama Bin Ladenmug. A noun that describes an individual who is a heavy internet user, usually to the point where they know every meme/viral video to date, whilst maintaining a constant lookout for new ones. An Internite's physical appearance is often (but not always) a Caucasian, pimple infested heavy-set male, whose aesthetic deficiencies severely outweigh his/her ability to communicate with the opposite sex. Internites are nocturnal creatures, often preferring colder, dark isolated environments. Since hygiene isn't a priority, these individuals are generally quite smelly. Due to their daily seclusion from life, they are also known to be very weird and quite socially awkward.
Ted is such an internite, all he does is go around saying annoying/overused memes, like 'cool story bro' and 'haha, I trolled you'. F*cking weirdo.
by IsraelHands09 July 26, 2011
Get the Internitemug.