18 definitions by IsraelHands09

1
A noun that describes an individual who is a heavy internet user, usually to the point where they know every meme/viral video to date, whilst maintaining a constant lookout for new ones. An Internite's physical appearance is often (but not always) a Caucasian, pimple infested heavy-set male, whose aesthetic deficiencies severely outweigh his/her ability to communicate with the opposite sex. Internites are nocturnal creatures, often preferring colder, dark isolated environments. Since hygiene isn't a priority, these individuals are generally quite smelly. Due to their daily seclusion from life, they are also known to be very weird and quite socially awkward.
Ted is such an internite, all he does is go around saying annoying/overused memes, like 'cool story bro' and 'haha, I trolled you'. F*cking weirdo.
by IsraelHands09 July 25, 2011
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2
This happens when an individual is eating at a buffet, and hordes of people from (but not limited to) church, school, community groups/organizations, events, etc. arrive via charter bus, forcing others to get out of their seats and stock up on as much food items as they can carry, before the rest is lost to the eternal multitude of hungry, rude, and moody crowds pushing and shoving their way to culinary salvation.
Mother: "Hey kiddo! How was CiCi's with Garry?"

Son: "Ehhh... it sucked ass honestly...buffet raid plundered through the food, so Garry and I hardly got to eat anything. We tried to get up and stock on food, but people started trying to take our seats, so we just left."
by IsraelHands09 May 12, 2011
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3
A highly addictive strategy based iPhone/Android game that has claimed the lives of millions.
"Dude, have you ever played Candy Crush?"

"Played it??? Bro, that game killed my uncle!"
by IsraelHands09 August 12, 2013
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4
The act of going through Costco or mall food courts and sampling from every poor sod having to stand there with free samples of food.
James and Robert didn't feel like paying for a meal, so they snuck into Costco and went sample surfing.
by IsraelHands09 November 12, 2015
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5
Short for "Processor" which is essentially the brain of any computing device. Two major processor developers are AMD and Intel.
My stupid ass motherboard died today, so I got to get a new motherboard, which will also require me to purchase another prossy.
by IsraelHands09 November 09, 2010
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6
The one person who walks into the bathroom that is a total germophobe about toilet seats. So to subdue their fears, they use "SafeTGard" toilet seat covers, often leaving them there when they're done for the pending shitter to have to sweep off the toilet seat.
Husband walking out of the bathroom:

Wife: "Hey honey, did you have a nice shit?"

Husband: "Well, I would have if those damn SafeTGard twats would learn to clean up after themselves."
by IsraelHands09 September 30, 2010
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7
A division of Google, and nothing else but a bunch of thieves. They offer to advertise on your site, and give you a share of mulah, letting your money build up. Then at the apex of your financial glory, they disable your account and "refund your money to the affected advertisers." AKA, you get jewed. Typically, they send you an e-mail with a bullshit reason saying your account is generating a risk of invalid activity, which may "financially hurt" advertisers (as though it will even scratch their surfaces). Google even has the nerve to say "thank you for your patience and understanding". Users are typically offered appeal forms, however, at the risk of not getting reinstated (or reinstated, then cancelled again) it isn't usually worth it.
Some people who have been shut down by AdSense have lost upwards of $3,000. Don't believe me? Then Google NCC Archives 219 and see what these happy people had to say.
by IsraelHands09 November 30, 2011
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