Definitions by Intelligence001
Frankenstein
A mad scientist from the Mary Shelley novel of the same name who created a beast out of several human body parts recovered from a cemetery. Contrary to popular belief, the monster in question is not named Frankenstein. In fact, the creature isn't named at all.
"Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster. It's a common misconception held by all truly stupid people."
Frankenstein by Intelligence001 March 11, 2017
principle of evil marksmanship
Also known as the stormtrooper effect or the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy. The principle of evil marksmanship is a phenomenon between two belligerents (fighting factions) in a battle, typically one fought with projectile weapons. In battle, the malevolent(evil) faction will be unable to land a single hit with their weapons, while the benevolent faction will easily take down the opposition with seemingly pinpoint accuracy.
The principle of evil marksmanship is best demonstrated in the Star Wars film series (from which the phenomenon receives its other names), the James Bond series, and other films and videogames that feature opposition with ranged weaponry.
principle of evil marksmanship by Intelligence001 March 6, 2017
Sea Bear
A vicious creature that lives in the ocean and attacks campers. Here are some rules to follow to prevent attracting these beasts:
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.
Whether or not the sea bear exists is up for debate, as only one person is known to have survived a sea bear attack. (Witnesses claim he was incompetent enough to try all known ways to attract a sea bear.)
Sea Bear by Intelligence001 February 6, 2017
Shelob
A beast from the Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien. She is most well known for heavily resembling a monstrous spider, albeit with a wasp stinger and a gaping mouth, despite real world spiders having a liquid diet. She appeared in The Two Towers, but the film places her in Return of the King.
"Most like a spider she was, but huger than the great hunting beasts, and more terrible than they because of the evil purpose in her remorseless eyes. Great horns she had, and behind her short stalk-like neck was her huge swollen body, a vast bloated bag, swaying and sagging beneath her legs; its great bulk was black, blotched with livid marks, but the belly underneath was pale and luminous and gave forth a stench. Her legs were bent, with great knobbed joints high above her back, and hairs that stuck out like steel spines, and at each leg's end there was a claw." -Description of Shelob from The Two Towers
Shelob by Intelligence001 January 8, 2017
DUMB
DUMB by Intelligence001 January 6, 2017
Name
Name by Intelligence001 January 6, 2017
weak spot
weak spot by Intelligence001 January 3, 2017