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Definitions by I am a heccin egg

What every internet stranger had with my mom
My mom brings home her new boyfriend to meet me. “Hello Alex,” he says. “Or do you prefer the name 𝑥_𝑐𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑥𝑥?“

“Madman772?” I say, my voice dripping with fear.
“Thats right,” His smile was sinister — his tone powerful. “I told you I’d have sex with your mom, 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝐼?“ I let out a scream of pure primal terror.
sex by I am a heccin egg July 4, 2022
Short for the word pusillanimous meaning timid or cowardly
Pussy by I am a heccin egg August 21, 2021
Misspelling something so badly that autocorrect doesn’t have any suggestions
I am a jigantik failure
failure by I am a heccin egg May 12, 2020

calories 

Small goblins that hide in your closet and sew your clothes a little tighter each night.
She went on a diet because she had too many calories

cheerios 

Legend has it, if you plant a cheerio in sacred ground, you’ll get a donut plant
I eat Cheerios because they’re heart healthy...

And my heart has been severely damaged...

So John if you’re out there-