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Definitions by I Saw U2 Live Twice

Comfortably Dumb 

1. a state where someone is leaving in a state of catatonic stupor. Said person is so incompetant and so inconprehending that you can drop hints of something being wrong or going wrong bad and the person won't respond or bat an eye. It's a state of being in dream land. As it's said, "Ignorance Is Bliss".

2. a condition where a person "plays dumb" in order to flunk out of a class he or she hates and doesn't want to be in anyhow.
1. for years the economy has been in horrible shape. Many people have been diverted by war shown as entertainment on TV (manipulating prejudices, stereotypes and hateful passions), lovely sexy-but-airheaded bimbos, gossip, and star worship and more. The newscaster throws in a brief bit about the recession then he tells some cockamaimy or cutesy-wutsey heart-tugger tale. The unnoticing, inattentive and unflinching public says "Amen". They have become comfortably dumb.

2. Soozie hated her Business class. She was pressured by her academic advisor to sign up for it, so she intentually flunked all its exams. She acted comfortably dumb to get out a course that bored her to tears.

3, and the paper today
tells of war and waste
then you turn right over to the TV page...

CROWDED HOUSE

Comfortably Numb 

1. a state of severe alienation and burnout. When the pressures of life and the evils, insanity and corruption of the outside world are too much and you build a mental wall and you shut yourself out from everything and everyone. You just want to retreat by watching TV or listening to music a LOT to take you from your inner pain but your attention span is so minimized you may wind up on the couch looking up at the ceiling and constantly changing TV channels with the remote. Certain scenes or sounds may bring up painful emotions and make you cry. So you try to quench the pain by smoking, drinking or doing dope.

2. a song from the 1979 Pink Floyd classic double album "The Wall" where the alienated and overburdened rock musician Pink (no, not the real life female pop singer!) is found " comfortably numb" watching the tube and is given "a little pin prick" of horse to "get going for the show". The lyrics (written by bassist Roger Waters) describe in great detail this condition of mental/emotional illness. Dave Gilmour gives a fierce guitar workout and Nick Mason slams an electric drum as the tune fades out. Richard Wright's synthesizers are augmented by an orchestra.
1. Daniel is dog tired after working 12-hour shifts all during the week, and rotating shift schedules every week on top of that. He just sits on his couch and polishes off the Riunite and tokes while watching 13 channels of shit on the TV to choose from. In the meantime he has scenes from his life flashing back in his head. He has become comfortably numb.

2. "Comfortably Numb" is a major highlight of a Pink Floyd concert.

Can you hear me now? 

The next time that Verizon Wireless guy says this overrought old cliche that has worn out its welcome and was already stale before this shitty decade even began, I'm gonna throw an Ottoman stool at the damn TV and watch an electronic flash as the screen is shattered from the impact.
1. I turn on the TV. It's commercial time beings that a show has just ended. The Verizon guy whips out his cell phone. YES he says it AGAIN: "Can you hear me now?"
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" #SMASH!#

2. Not only can I hear you now but you're annoying the hell outta me! You'd better shut it up now!

white lady 

1. an adult white woman. For all you anthroplogist and PC types the term is "European-American" or "Euro-American". "Caucasian" isn't entirely effective because the Caucasian race/catagory/whatever includes Arabic, Indian subcontinent and other peoples whose skins aren't white.

2. a slang name for powdered cocaine.
1. my girlfriend is a short stout beautiful auburn-haired white lady with soft blue eyes. She may not be a goddess but she's got a charming personality and that's good enough for me.

2. I was at a party at a sorority house at Palmer Avenue. I went to the kitchen to get a drink and Hugo, Mindy and Jeff were tooting lines. They asked if I wanted a snort and I said no. The only white lady I want is in the flesh. It's said that love is the drug and that's the drug that I want - not the kind you sniff up your nose.
1. in medical circles, someone who has a thyroid problem which results in the condition known as cretinism. It may also result from bad environmental factors.

2. a thick-headed dunce, a total dumbbutt. You can tell a cretin something and it NEVER sinks in. An absolute numbskull.
1. ... There's no stopping the cretins from hopping.
Creeee-tin!
Creeee-tin! ...

One-two-three-four!
All good cretins have some more!
Four-five-six-seven!

All good cretins go to heaven!

"Cretin Hop" - RAMONES

2. When I was in high school the TV show "Entertainment Tonight" debuted and was something to talk about at the lockers. Now that show is pure trash, it's for cretins.

dumb blonde 

a girl who looks absolutely gorgeous, great figure, great legs, nice blonde hair (usually bleached). Yet there's something about the peroxide because she just seems to have no sence at all. A lot of guys want to date her and bag her but you can't really "fuck her brains out" if there's nothing up there. She often has a totally blank spaced out look on her pretty face, she is so "out there in the ozone layer" but her looks and vacant air of sexuality may get her around in life (look at some of the entertainment industry's biggest stars today), yet her IQ may be so room temperature that she may not know or comprehend where you "plug it in". Someone may have to tell her. An absolutely vapid dizz. A bad example for females growing up.
1. Because I'm blonde, I don't have to think
I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks
Don't have to worry about gettin' a man
If I keep this blonde and I keep these tan

'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah yeah yeah!
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah yeah yeah!

I see people workin', it just makes me giggle
'Cause I don't have to work, I just have to jiggle
'Cause I'm blonde, B-L-O-N-D
'Cause I'm a blonde, don't you wish you were me?
...

'Cause I'm blonde, nyah nyah nyah!
'Cause I'm a blonde, nyah nyah nyah! ...

I took an IQ test and I flunked it, of course
I can't spell VW, but I got a Porsche
'Cause I'm a blonde, B-L-I-N-D!
'Cause I'm a blonde, don't you wish you were me? ...

Girls think I'm snotty and maybe its true
With my hair and body, you would be too
'Cause I'm a blonde, B-L... I don't know!
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah yeah yeah!
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah yeah yeah!
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah yeah yeah! - JULIE BROWN

2. Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are ditzy dumb blondes.

3. Earlier this century, Britney Spears said that we must all stand together behind the President no matter what he says or does. Need I say anymore?

4. I dated a girl with bleached hair in college. She's got knowledge and refinement but she is quite an airhead, an educated fool. She'd tell me, the professor of the class we were in together and practically everyone we ran into on a date her life story and all the things me and her did. What do ya know?

5.

Q: How did the dumb blonde correct a mistake on a report on her computer?

A: She used Wite-Out on the computer screen!

6. I like women of all hair colors. Not every blonde woman is a dumb blonde.

dumb blonde 

a girl who looks absolutely gorgeous, great figure, great legs, nice blonde hair (usually bleached). Yet there's something about the peroxide because she just seems to have no sence at all. A lot of guys want to date her and bag her but you can't really "fuck her brains out" if there's nothing up there. She often has a totally blank spaced out look on her pretty face, she is so "out there in the ozone layer" but her looks and vacant air of sexuality may get her around in life (look at some of the entertainment industry's biggest stars today), yet her IQ may be so room temperature that she may not know or comprehend where you "plug it in". Someone may have to tell her. An absolutely vapid dizz. A bad example for females growing up.
1. Because I'm blonde, I don't have to think
I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks
Don't have to worry about gettin' a man
If I keep this blonde and I keep these tan

'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah yeah yeah!
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah yeah yeah!

I see people workin', it just makes me giggle
'Cause I don't have to work, I just have to jiggle
'Cause I'm blonde, B-L-O-N-D
'Cause I'm a blonde, don't you wish you were me?
...

'Cause I'm blonde, nyah nyah nyah!
'Cause I'm a blonde, nyah nyah nyah! ...

I took an IQ test and I flunked it, of course
I can't spell VW, but I got a Porsche
'Cause I'm a blonde, B-L-I-N-D!
'Cause I'm a blonde, don't you wish you were me? ...

Girls think I'm snotty and maybe its true
With my hair and body, you would be too
'Cause I'm a blonde, B-L... I don't know!
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah yeah yeah!
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah yeah yeah!
'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah yeah yeah! - JULIE BROWN

2. Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are ditzy dumb blondes.

3. Earlier this century, Britney Spears said that we must all stand together behind the President no matter what he says or does. Need I say anymore?

4. I dated a girl with bleached hair in college. She's got knowledge and refinement but she is quite an airhead, an educated fool. She'd tell me, the professor of the class we were in together and practically everyone we ran into on a date her life story and all the things me and her did. What do ya know?

5.

Q: How did the dumb blonde correct a mistake on a report on her computer?

A: She used Wite-Out on the computer screen!

6. I like women of all hair colors. Not every blonde woman is a dumb blonde.