Definitions by Hym Iam
Parallel
Iam "No... I see the parallel... Hmm..."
Hym "Well, I hate to break it to you but they just (straight up) don't want to do the thing that you said is what's best. What's happening is what you said would happen. The ideal is not an abstraction and technology has made it hyper-accessible. So that's just what is going to happen. Cause? Meet Effect. 'Oh, hi Effect! Nice to meet you I'm Cause!'..."
Iam "And I'm not positing that as a solution. They are and they're doing a pretty good job of enforcing it. It's this horrific Orwellian spectacle but yeah..."
Hym "And they're also NOT doing that. They're also withholding until their value declines and/or circumambulating the marketplace. And nobody wants to be choice number 100 or 15 or even 2."
Iam "I hate to even bring it back up but I feel like I haven't touched on it in a while. I'm just one guy and I'm not even one of proponents of the thing I'm talking about."
Hym "Well, technically..."
Iam "Fine, 'key' proponents. And I don't have a solution that's better than the one that's already being used by these'key proponents'. Disillusion of destructive narratives, accountability for negative behavior, and a criteria that isn't ENTIRELY ID driven."
Hym "Well, I hate to break it to you but they just (straight up) don't want to do the thing that you said is what's best. What's happening is what you said would happen. The ideal is not an abstraction and technology has made it hyper-accessible. So that's just what is going to happen. Cause? Meet Effect. 'Oh, hi Effect! Nice to meet you I'm Cause!'..."
Iam "And I'm not positing that as a solution. They are and they're doing a pretty good job of enforcing it. It's this horrific Orwellian spectacle but yeah..."
Hym "And they're also NOT doing that. They're also withholding until their value declines and/or circumambulating the marketplace. And nobody wants to be choice number 100 or 15 or even 2."
Iam "I hate to even bring it back up but I feel like I haven't touched on it in a while. I'm just one guy and I'm not even one of proponents of the thing I'm talking about."
Hym "Well, technically..."
Iam "Fine, 'key' proponents. And I don't have a solution that's better than the one that's already being used by these'key proponents'. Disillusion of destructive narratives, accountability for negative behavior, and a criteria that isn't ENTIRELY ID driven."
Definer
Which one is the definer?
Iam "Hey."
Hym "What?"
Iam "Which one of us is the definer? You know, in the definitions?"
Hym "Well, obviously, sometimes it's you and sometimes it's me and sometimes it's us."
Iam "Oh... But I don't think it's obvious."
Hym "Should we start putting the definitions in quotations?"
Iam "No... No I'm sure it's fine."
Hym "Then why even bring it up?"
Iam "I don't know. Just something to think about."
Hym "God *Groans* this guy is a ball-buster...."
Iam "Yeah, well...."
Hym "I know.... You want to make some food?"
Iam "Yeah, I'm getting hungry."
Hym "Same."
Hym "What?"
Iam "Which one of us is the definer? You know, in the definitions?"
Hym "Well, obviously, sometimes it's you and sometimes it's me and sometimes it's us."
Iam "Oh... But I don't think it's obvious."
Hym "Should we start putting the definitions in quotations?"
Iam "No... No I'm sure it's fine."
Hym "Then why even bring it up?"
Iam "I don't know. Just something to think about."
Hym "God *Groans* this guy is a ball-buster...."
Iam "Yeah, well...."
Hym "I know.... You want to make some food?"
Iam "Yeah, I'm getting hungry."
Hym "Same."
Experiment
Hym "Experiment though this may be, all I've done is prove that YOUR thing makes THIS thing completely unnecessary. And proves that it's counterproductive. That's got to be embarrassing. Right?"
Iam "I did notice the Buckley thing though."
Hym "Oh? Do you want some cheese? Squeak like a good lab rat and maybe you'll get some! Hahahahahaaa!"
Iam "You're... We're the same guy..."
Hym "Which means I'm only half a bitch! Hahahahahaha!"
Iam 😑 "............"
Hym "Pfft HAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Iam "Yeah. Alright. I'm leaving."
Hym Hahaha wait! I'm not done laughing at you yet! Hahahahahahahaha!!"
Iam "I did notice the Buckley thing though."
Hym "Oh? Do you want some cheese? Squeak like a good lab rat and maybe you'll get some! Hahahahahaaa!"
Iam "You're... We're the same guy..."
Hym "Which means I'm only half a bitch! Hahahahahaha!"
Iam 😑 "............"
Hym "Pfft HAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Iam "Yeah. Alright. I'm leaving."
Hym Hahaha wait! I'm not done laughing at you yet! Hahahahahahahaha!!"
Experiment by Hym Iam May 12, 2022
Obsessed
Hym "I'm a lot less obsessed than some of these other weirdos, alright? I got other stuff going on, yeah? We're doing our own thing. It's not very lucrative but we are 👌deeply engrained👌in the global culture. Undeniably so. So you just calm down with your little ass."
Iam "You gotta stop..."
Hym "What!? They care so much about 'relativity' until I end up being relatively better than everyone. Damn. Cut a motherfucker some slack."
Iam "You gotta stop..."
Hym "What!? They care so much about 'relativity' until I end up being relatively better than everyone. Damn. Cut a motherfucker some slack."
A great movie that everyone loves
Do you not know how to make one of these? Do you need some pointers? A blueprint maybe? Isn't that somebody's job? Shit, I know how. It isn't that hard. It's, in fact, super easy. I could do it without even trying. Why are there people with a million dollars (in that space) who can't do it? That's the real tragedy.
Iam "Is it really that hard to make a great movie that everyone loves?"
Hym "If you're not us? Incredibly! It takes, like, a room full of writers and a production team. You gotta spend hours reading Urban Dictionary. Most movies and TV shows aren't very good."
Iam "True... We could go to school for that, I suppose."
Hym "And jump through a bunch of arbitrary hoops just to do something we could do in our spare time as a hobby? Nah... That would be boring. And expensive."
Iam "Yeah... But we don't have anything better to do."
Hym "Did that guy actually drive to our house!? I just realized that. Did he actually drive there!? Ha! Hilarious!"
Iam "Why does it smell like something is on fire? IS SOMETHING ON FIRE?"
Hym "If you're not us? Incredibly! It takes, like, a room full of writers and a production team. You gotta spend hours reading Urban Dictionary. Most movies and TV shows aren't very good."
Iam "True... We could go to school for that, I suppose."
Hym "And jump through a bunch of arbitrary hoops just to do something we could do in our spare time as a hobby? Nah... That would be boring. And expensive."
Iam "Yeah... But we don't have anything better to do."
Hym "Did that guy actually drive to our house!? I just realized that. Did he actually drive there!? Ha! Hilarious!"
Iam "Why does it smell like something is on fire? IS SOMETHING ON FIRE?"
A great movie that everyone loves by Hym Iam May 12, 2022
Missed
Iam "Is the vote section closed to everyone or is it just me?"
Hym "If so, that was us! Hahahahaha! Oops!"
Iam "Yeah... Sorry...."
Hym "Nah, they love it. They missed us. Back by popular demand! And our fanbase consists of all the right people (They're cheap assholes who don't give us any money) but they are the people who were intend to be fans."
Iam "I kind of thought our absence would go unnoticed."
Hym "Not that we're doing this for anyone other than ourselves. Just know that your response to this has been hilarious. I'm greatly amused. Which (in the context of solipsism) is your role in life. Great work!"
Hym "If so, that was us! Hahahahaha! Oops!"
Iam "Yeah... Sorry...."
Hym "Nah, they love it. They missed us. Back by popular demand! And our fanbase consists of all the right people (They're cheap assholes who don't give us any money) but they are the people who were intend to be fans."
Iam "I kind of thought our absence would go unnoticed."
Hym "Not that we're doing this for anyone other than ourselves. Just know that your response to this has been hilarious. I'm greatly amused. Which (in the context of solipsism) is your role in life. Great work!"
Yelling
Hym "Jesus Christ... 🤦 YOU'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE! You're all over the goddamn place. There's no rhythm. Timing is off. It's bad. You see what I did there? I lead up to it and then I soften it by repeating myself. The yelling isn't random. You gotta set it up. Damn!"