Definitions by Hym Iam
Career Path
None really. The only thing I'm concerned with is the cabal of shadowy figures keeping track of everything I say and do. Let me illustrate
Guy 1 (hears me say a thing)--------- Guy 2 (repeats thing I say) This ☝️
Is the only thing in life that I care about. It's worth more than you life, your kids lives, and you wives lives. Guy 1 and Guy 2 do not know each other. How did Guy 1 tell Guy 2 what I said and who is benefiting from this? The answers to these are the only I care about. You will answer the questions.
Guy 1 (hears me say a thing)--------- Guy 2 (repeats thing I say) This ☝️
Is the only thing in life that I care about. It's worth more than you life, your kids lives, and you wives lives. Guy 1 and Guy 2 do not know each other. How did Guy 1 tell Guy 2 what I said and who is benefiting from this? The answers to these are the only I care about. You will answer the questions.
Hym "That's really all there is to it. That's my career path. Over a couple of bumps and off of a bridge. There the fuckin plan you wanted me to make. A perfectly linear path that takes nothing to accomplish. The benefits to which are eternal. Sounds like a good one to me. What do you think?"
Career Path by Hym Iam May 19, 2022
Stab in the neck
🔪😱👻
Hym "You keep bringing up the hammer like ya boi didn't say he wanted to stab in the neck a guy. Does he need therapy or is he a psychological/philosophical genius? You tell me."
Iam *Snickers* "Hehehehehe..."
Hym "Oh? You liked that one?"
Iam "Nah, it's just that you guys are out of control. This really needs to stop. Lol."
Hym "So, yeah, that's allowed. I'm a genius. I'm glad you grew the beard back. Without it you look like the Gungan leader from the Star Wars prequels. Do the thing... Do the 'Hububububu' thing the space monster does."
Iam *Snickers* "Hehehehehe..."
Hym "Oh? You liked that one?"
Iam "Nah, it's just that you guys are out of control. This really needs to stop. Lol."
Hym "So, yeah, that's allowed. I'm a genius. I'm glad you grew the beard back. Without it you look like the Gungan leader from the Star Wars prequels. Do the thing... Do the 'Hububububu' thing the space monster does."
Stab in the neck by Hym Iam May 19, 2022
Cristof
Yeah, no. You're clearly not doing the thing you're doing. That isn't a thing that is happening. I just THINK that you're doing the thing that you're doing and because you're the good one you are justified in doing it. It couldn't possibly be the other way around. There would be no possible way from me to identify what it is that you are doing and respond accordingly. Additionally, what would constitute "responding accordingly" could only ever be "the thing that you want me to do" and not anything else. Because if I do the thing you want me to do then it just proves that you were justified in doing the thing that you are doing and that you behaved appropriately. But if I do anything negative in response to what you're doing it isn't your fault. Because the only logical conclusion that can be drawn from what you're doing is for me to do the thing you want me to do AND NOTHING ELSE. So if I do SOMETHING ELSE then it isn't your fault that I did the thing. It's like ADVICE.
Hym "Damn dawg..."
Iam "What?"
Hym "I am mad good at words G! My intellectual and verbal prowess are astounding!"
Iam "Our oration could use some work... So could our conversational English..."
Hym "Wow you are a spoiled sport! Can't you let me have anything? We got Cristof over here raining on our parade all the time now won't even let me have my moment?"
Iam "Sorry..."
Iam "What?"
Hym "I am mad good at words G! My intellectual and verbal prowess are astounding!"
Iam "Our oration could use some work... So could our conversational English..."
Hym "Wow you are a spoiled sport! Can't you let me have anything? We got Cristof over here raining on our parade all the time now won't even let me have my moment?"
Iam "Sorry..."
Psychopath
Hym *Beep* *Boop* "Psychopath mode deactivated!" *Bzzerp*
Iam "What are you doing?"
Hym "............."
Iam "Hym? What are you doing?"
Hym ".........."
Iam 🤨
Hym *Psst* "I'm off... That's what they want... So I'm off now"
Iam "That's not how that works..."
Hym "I know! But they don't know that."
Iam "You... Alright... Whatever."
Iam "What are you doing?"
Hym "............."
Iam "Hym? What are you doing?"
Hym ".........."
Iam 🤨
Hym *Psst* "I'm off... That's what they want... So I'm off now"
Iam "That's not how that works..."
Hym "I know! But they don't know that."
Iam "You... Alright... Whatever."
Psychopath by Hym Iam May 19, 2022
Alive
God I hate being this.... And I hate when things are this... A mosquito flew in my mouth when I went outside... If it had not been this that would not have happened...
Iam "God I hate being alive..."
Hym "Alive things are the worst..."
Iam ".............."
Hym "............."
Iam "..............."
Hym ".............."
Iam "Holy shit it just never ends!"
Hym "Yeah..."
Hym "Alive things are the worst..."
Iam ".............."
Hym "............."
Iam "..............."
Hym ".............."
Iam "Holy shit it just never ends!"
Hym "Yeah..."
Weaponizing
Hym "Where have you been?"
Iam "Mmm? Trying to find something to watch... Heard you shout something about Dregs..."
Hym "Yes! Isn't that fucking hilarious!? She said 'they're weaponizing the dregs of society'! Hahaha! That's exactly what they're doing! We're dregs! No one uses that phrase! Except for us."
Iam "Mmm... I am legion..."
Hym "What are you eating?"
Iam "Sandwich..."
Hym "Well, cut it out! You're spoiling the moment! We're like the ultimate weapon! We're practically Escanor! This is absolutely hilarious!"
Iam "Well is that's the case, they need to do is send one of them cute girls over here to polish the ol' handle..."
Hym "Wha... Wow! That was little out of left field for you."
Iam "Meh..."
Hym "........ Go get me a sandwich..."
Iam "Mmm? Trying to find something to watch... Heard you shout something about Dregs..."
Hym "Yes! Isn't that fucking hilarious!? She said 'they're weaponizing the dregs of society'! Hahaha! That's exactly what they're doing! We're dregs! No one uses that phrase! Except for us."
Iam "Mmm... I am legion..."
Hym "What are you eating?"
Iam "Sandwich..."
Hym "Well, cut it out! You're spoiling the moment! We're like the ultimate weapon! We're practically Escanor! This is absolutely hilarious!"
Iam "Well is that's the case, they need to do is send one of them cute girls over here to polish the ol' handle..."
Hym "Wha... Wow! That was little out of left field for you."
Iam "Meh..."
Hym "........ Go get me a sandwich..."
Weaponizing by Hym Iam May 19, 2022
But you did
Hym "But you did! It's probably better not to because it would totally discredit your position hahahahaha! That's hilarious. Hey, I wouldn't want to be associated with me either. (Which is why I omitted some names in my original draft) but, hey, I am clearly doing a great job over here. I tend to do that from time to time. Lemme just reach over here and give myself a little pat on the ol' backarooney *pat* *pat* *pat* Good job me!"
But you did by Hym Iam May 19, 2022