Definitions by Hym Iam
Harod
Yeah, this is going to take like 5 parts... I might take a nap before I finish...
Harod "Ooooooh shit.... Ooooooh-"
Guard "Harod?"
Harod "AH! Ye... What?"
Guard "He... It... I... I got the guy. He's..."
Jesus "Hey man. How's it going?"
Harod "Ooooh shiiiiitah! What's he doing out of the sack man!? Holy shit!"
Guard "Ummm... I uuuuuh... Shit man... I didn't... Need it? He just came- I donno..."
Harod "Uh.... Huh.... So...."
Jesus "Yeah, what's up."
Harod "Ohshitohman... So... Yeah... You're the creature?"
Jesus "Yupyupyup-Er, No... I'm like a guy now. I mean... Kinda."
Harod "So... You're making fish?"
Jesus "Did I? Oh! Yeahyeahyeah man. Yeah, I made some fish. You had all the foods here so they... You know... Didn't have any."
Harod "Oooooooooohh.... Shit....."😱
Jesus 😐
Harod "Ooooooh shit.... Ooooooh-"
Guard "Harod?"
Harod "AH! Ye... What?"
Guard "He... It... I... I got the guy. He's..."
Jesus "Hey man. How's it going?"
Harod "Ooooh shiiiiitah! What's he doing out of the sack man!? Holy shit!"
Guard "Ummm... I uuuuuh... Shit man... I didn't... Need it? He just came- I donno..."
Harod "Uh.... Huh.... So...."
Jesus "Yeah, what's up."
Harod "Ohshitohman... So... Yeah... You're the creature?"
Jesus "Yupyupyup-Er, No... I'm like a guy now. I mean... Kinda."
Harod "So... You're making fish?"
Jesus "Did I? Oh! Yeahyeahyeah man. Yeah, I made some fish. You had all the foods here so they... You know... Didn't have any."
Harod "Oooooooooohh.... Shit....."😱
Jesus 😐
Harod *Whispers* "Ooohshitwegottagetthisguythefuckouttahere!"
Guard "Uh... I..."
Harod "What are your going to do?"
Jesus "Well I usually just kill everybody and start over but the wine is pretty dope."
Harod "Wine?"
Jesus "Yup. Get it all up in muh bloods. Heheh. Oh! And the bread! Yeah, I was telling the guys earlier that I might be a bread man later."
Harod "Bread? A bread man?"
Jesus "Yeah! Like, with wine blood or something. It'll be dope... And delicious... And soggy... Yep."
Harod 😨
Jesus 😐
Harod 😨
Guard 😨
Jesus 😐
Harod "Holyshitgethimthefuckoutofhere... Gogogo get him out! GET HIM OUT! I don't care what you have to do to get it out of here but get it there, out I mean, and leave it there. Nail it to a tree... In.. The desert..."
Guard "There aren't any trees in the-"
Harod "Make a tree... And bring it and him there... To the dessert."
Guard "Bah... Um... Ok.."
Jesus "Ho! That does not sound fun."
Guard "Um... Do you...?"
Jesus "Oh yeah, lead the way."
Guard "... Ok..."
*Jesus and the guard walk off*
Harod "Ooooo shit..."
Guard "Uh... I..."
Harod "What are your going to do?"
Jesus "Well I usually just kill everybody and start over but the wine is pretty dope."
Harod "Wine?"
Jesus "Yup. Get it all up in muh bloods. Heheh. Oh! And the bread! Yeah, I was telling the guys earlier that I might be a bread man later."
Harod "Bread? A bread man?"
Jesus "Yeah! Like, with wine blood or something. It'll be dope... And delicious... And soggy... Yep."
Harod 😨
Jesus 😐
Harod 😨
Guard 😨
Jesus 😐
Harod "Holyshitgethimthefuckoutofhere... Gogogo get him out! GET HIM OUT! I don't care what you have to do to get it out of here but get it there, out I mean, and leave it there. Nail it to a tree... In.. The desert..."
Guard "There aren't any trees in the-"
Harod "Make a tree... And bring it and him there... To the dessert."
Guard "Bah... Um... Ok.."
Jesus "Ho! That does not sound fun."
Guard "Um... Do you...?"
Jesus "Oh yeah, lead the way."
Guard "... Ok..."
*Jesus and the guard walk off*
Harod "Ooooo shit..."
Jesus Christ
Yes, it's multiple parts this one...
*The wilderness*
Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"
Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."
Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"
Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
*The wilderness*
Lucifer "Oh what in the fuck is it now!?"
Jesus "Hey man! Long time no see! What's it been? 30 years? I'm a guy now."
Lucifer "This is what you've been doing!? You can't be a guy!"
Jesus "I am. I'm Jesus Christ now."
Lucifer "JESUS CHRIST!"
Jesus "Yep."
Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"
Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."
Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"
Jesus "Oh I know."
Father 😨
Jesus 🤨
Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."
Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"
Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"
Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"
Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"
Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."
Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."
Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."
Father 😨
Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐
Father 😨
Jesus "Yep."
Lucifer "Jesus Christ! This is ridiculous. You can't be a guy. Change back! Change back immediately!"
Jesus "Oho can't I? Are you my dad now? Ok father. I won't be a guy *Father*."
Father "I don't need to be your father to- Wait... *Father* YOU SON OF A BITCH! What are you going to do!? What are THEY going to do!? They are going to fuck your shit up!"
Jesus "Oh I know."
Father 😨
Jesus 🤨
Father "What the fuck is happening right now..."
Jesus "Uuuuummmm I'm a guy now. I did some cool stuff. They're going to kill me. And.. then... I'm... Gonna... I donno... I'll just come back or something. Or not. Or come back for a bit and then go back and then come back later. It's gonna be tight!"
Father "Jesus Christ... That is fucking stupid man. Absolutely dumb. Why would you come here just to let em kill you?"
Jesus "Save me then idiot! Heheheh!"
Lucifer "No. No, I'm not going to save you from- What is there to even save you from?"
Jesus "Exactly. Hey, we're having a party man you should come out! We got... Um... Bread. We're gonna split a bottle of wine between... Well, between the 14 of us I guess. It's gonna be dope."
Father "TSK! Getthefuckouttaherewiththat! No! NO! I'm not going to 'party' and I'm not going to be a part of any of this."
Jesus "Your loss man parties are fun."
Father 😨
Jesus "Alright man I'll see you later." 😌🖐
Father 😨
Jesus Christ by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
Jesus
Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...
Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"
Harod "What!?"
Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."
Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*
Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."
Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨
Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"
Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"
Guard "Yeah........"
Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"
Guard "Yeah..."
Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Guard "I donno man..."
Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"
Guard "Damn..."
Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"
Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yahp..."
Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."
Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."
Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."
Guard *sigh*
Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."
Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
Harod "What!?"
Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."
Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*
Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."
Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨
Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"
Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"
Guard "Yeah........"
Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"
Guard "Yeah..."
Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Guard "I donno man..."
Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"
Guard "Damn..."
Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"
Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yahp..."
Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."
Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."
Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."
Guard *sigh*
Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."
Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
Abuser God
Yes... The only path to virtue is through cosmic abuse... But only because I will MANUALLY CLOSE THE OTHER PATHS as though I think I'm the creature I'm worshipping... It's not going to burn me forever... I'll just talk my way out of it.... This doesn't count as taking it's name in vain... I'm the good one...
Hym "Wh... Does he not realize everything he's saying about the trans applies to his Abuser God? I mean, seriously! He's like a guy who keeps stepping on the same rake! Ha!"
Iam "Oh man... That... That is hard to watch..."
Hym "HE JUST KEEPS DOING IT! WALK AROUND! JESUS CHRIST!"
Iam "Uh... Oo! That one looked bad."
Hym "Holy shit! He is really going at it isn't he? Shit, I don't even know what to do here."
Iam "Should I... Should I got over there and move it?"
Hym "No. No... Just give it a minute..."
*WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP!*
Iam "Hey! You... You gotta go around!"
*WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP!*
Iam "AROUND! GO AROUND! oh, jesus... I don't know what to do here. I don't know what to do. I..."
Hym "This... This is fucking bizarre man. I don't even find it amusing anymore... It's just weird..."
Iam "Oh man... That... That is hard to watch..."
Hym "HE JUST KEEPS DOING IT! WALK AROUND! JESUS CHRIST!"
Iam "Uh... Oo! That one looked bad."
Hym "Holy shit! He is really going at it isn't he? Shit, I don't even know what to do here."
Iam "Should I... Should I got over there and move it?"
Hym "No. No... Just give it a minute..."
*WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP!*
Iam "Hey! You... You gotta go around!"
*WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP!*
Iam "AROUND! GO AROUND! oh, jesus... I don't know what to do here. I don't know what to do. I..."
Hym "This... This is fucking bizarre man. I don't even find it amusing anymore... It's just weird..."
Abuser God by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
Unthinking, Unwavering Support
Hym "Unthinking, Unwavering Support is ALSO what your GOD wants. You literally ALSO want that you fucking idiot! Ha! Hahaha! That's fucking hilarious. And you KNOW I don't believe in being sorry. I'm not sorry to YOU. OR in general. I feel bad towards her. I'm still correct. Still going to kill your God. Nothing has changed. You're still a bitch. You're kids are going to have a horrific life that is going to resemble communist Russia. At least they'll have money but still... Pft! Hahaha!"
Unthinking, Unwavering Support by Hym Iam August 8, 2023
Alors on Danse
Iam "The beauty of Alors on Danse is not just in it's simplicity but also how it perfectly encapsulates the conversion from the general malaise and tedium TO free time. It's quite literally the perfect song."
Alors on Danse by Hym Iam August 8, 2023