Hym Iam's definitions

Kidnapping

Holy shit! I think a woman just got kidnapped outside of my apartment!

Hym "Yeah, wtf? I think there was a kidnapping outside of my house! Had to call the cops because, KNOWING YOU USELESS FUCKS, IF I DON'T, NO ONE ELSE WILL. Shit. That is wild!"

by Hym Iam July 13, 2024

Assassination

Oh shit, wow! Holy shit did someone just try to kill Trump!?

Hym "Shit! First a kidnapping and then an assassination attempt!? God damn! I can't fuckin believe they actually tried it! That is wild. Trump shot. A bystander dead. The assassin is ALSO dead."

by Hym Iam July 13, 2024

Why?

Oh, shit, I don't know, Eric it's not like I'm in a fucking twilight zone and live every day both in pain and like I have a golf ball in my cheek and skull or anything.

Hym "Why? I say it because it's the truth."

by Hym Iam July 13, 2024

Fix

I didn't say anything about me you piece of shit you need to get fed an aluminum bat.

Hym "What you need to fix is what you're doing there you dumpy Midwestern slut. No amount of doing what you're doing is going to un-print that 'I am jay' t-shirt you piece of shit. I spent my entire adult life trying to stop EXACTLY THAT FROM HAPPENING and I gave you an EASY OUT and you REFUSED TO TAKE IT! And for what!? To stop a retard from being what he is by stopping me from being what I am. Solidify that caste system you got going on here? Sweep the bloodstains under the rug? Psychologists aren't even going to be allowed to write about how fucked up what you're doing here and why? Placate fucking solipsists. Even your God can't save you from what you are. No amount of dunking your head in a lake or lying priests is going to undo what you are.'

by Hym Iam July 14, 2024

Only the shooter is responsible

Says Ben Shapiro... UNLESS the shooter is a Jew!

Hym "In which case, it's Hamas' fault. 'Only the shooter is responsible' unless he's on my team. Then it's the other teams fault."

by Hym Iam July 14, 2024

Trumpssassination

I didn't get to talk about it at length because I was both sleep deprived and working and I ended up sleeping for 17 hour straight.

Hym "So! I've been watching all of the news on the Trumpssassination and I gotta say... I cannot fucking believe they actually did it! I can't believe somebody actually tried to kill him. The cuckservatives have been bloviating for years about the rhetoric around Trump and now someone actually made the attempt. Hilarious! Absolutely fucking hilarious! He's likely going to Reagan his way into office. He was probably already going to win but.... Ya know. And I'll take a second to redirect it BACK TO MY THING (which is on brand). You see what happens when people are allowed to construct a narrative around someone's life like that? How people will use that as justification to just... Do whatever they want? But back to Trump. What do we know? People are saying that the police were notified that someone was on the roof by people in the crowd and did nothing (there's a sort of irony them sit idly by instead of doing the thing they should be doing). 1 person dead. 2 injured. One of my coworkers thinks it's unfortunate that he missed. The other thinks it's a hoax. The zealots are saying that it was divine intervention. The shit-libs are screwed. Can't wait to see what they have to say about it. I'm sure something along the lines of '*insert mandatory condemnation of violence* + *individualize blame*' Ben Shapiro went the *collectivize AND individualize blame simultaneously*. But yeah. Running out of characters. That shit is wild."

by Hym Iam July 15, 2024

Crazy Shit

No I KNOW you saw it. I know.

Hym "I know you saw the crazy shit... And if you saw the CRAZY shit... You ALSO saw the BRILLIANT shit... So, you know... BEHOLD! THE GREATEST MIND WHO HAS EVER LIVED!!!"

by Hym Iam July 15, 2024