Pseudonym

Hey are DRUGS illegal Russ? Are drugs illegal? How many arrests? 12!? Holy shit! SHOULD HAVE USED A PSEUDONYM FUCK-FACE! AHAHAHAHAHA! HEY, GUESS WHAT!? THAT'S WHY THE 12 ARRESTS! How do you even get arrested!? NOT trying to getting away with illegal activities? Just doing it blatantly because you think you're more important than everyone?

Hym "And for what reason would you collaborate with a legion of people to get someone to to change their Pseudonym, Russell? First Alex O'Connor and now you? Why is the Pseudonym so important? You all seem to be hyper-fixated on it... Hmm... Oh! I know! Because LIKE YOU it's a BRAND! AHA! GET IT!? BRAND!? LIKE RUSSELL BRAND!? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! DO I OWN YOU RUSSELL!? DO YOU WANT YOUR LIKENESS BACK!? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I didn't even know I was doing it! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS DOING IT!

You're decrying ME for trying to get out of doing 'The work' and you're trying to trick me into changing my pseudonym so you can steal your copyright back without ever interacting with me AND LEAVE ME FOR DEAD! HA! HAHAHA! YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH! HAHAHAHAHA! THAT! THAT IS PRICELESS! Is THAT what this is all about!? That's why I've been arrested ZERO TIMES, RUSS! God, WOW guys! Just WOW! How about this: You give me a handy in a public bathroom and MAYBE I'll think about it! How does that sound!? Huh!? Jesus Christ guys! You are being really petty about this and it makes me not want to be cool about it, you feel me? God damn... Aaron is a fucking genius! This guy is my fucking hero right now! IT'S THE PERFECT FILTRATION SYSTEM FOR THOUGHT! IT'S PERFECT! Hey, at least you got to fuck all the women and go to orgies and shit! Damn man... You guys are fucking DUMB! AND the quality of my work is objectively BETTER! WOW! I mean, 8 years of writing that has been implemented dozens of times and it's still not good enough, huh? You're undermining Aaron's hard work too! Fuck you for that. From a net worth of 10 million in 2016 to a networth of 100 million! And YOU THINK it's not legit? Fuck you Russell."

by Hym Iam August 21, 2023

Private

No it isn't. Probably not something you want to lie about... Actually, lying about it would violate the premise of the wager... And telling the truth would constitute not accepting the wager and would again, therefore, violate the premise of the wager. The only choice you have is not to answer the question.... Anything else would be like being a clinical psychologist actively participating in the public gaslighting of a schizophrenic...

Hym "Oh, shit! I forgot part of the 'Jesus' thing! I was going to go one to explain: Hell is being Jesus in a world where God exists... Because you're just getting torn apart by vicious monkeys and it's like 'ARGH! Why have you forsaken meeee!!' And God's like '........' and it thinks to itself (Ooo shit I probably shouldn't have gave one of the monkeys cake and not any of the others) 'Oops. Alright. BEEOO-OOP! Alive again. There you go... You're fine right? Yeah... You're fine...' But I digress. Not private."

by Hym Iam July 23, 2022

Dopamine Junkies

Nonono motherfuck just co-opting anything thing I was saying look at how trash these motherfuckers are!

Hym "And you're gonna pay fucking 50 to go to this motherfuckers seminar about how you got to let him reconfigure your mind-brain and adopt his mindset so you can balance your fucking energies only to end up with less than the guy who stole the shit he's telling from me. And then you hang yourself... Nobody even hears about it until months later... And THAT SAME MOTHERFUCKER... It's going to prop up your corpse and use you as an example as to why you need to buy tickets to his NEXT Ted talk and fucking give him another 50 dollars! 'Oh, yeah, that fucking Alex man. He didn't pay for my fucking super dopamine exercise mindset energy cleanse and then he fucking hung himself bro! That's why you gotta detoxify your masculine Chakra and enter the flow-state-mode to maximize you true self-potential by signing up for my course where I teach you how to exorcize energy vampires and dopamine junkies! You gotta do it bro! Sign up and pay me 50 dollars or you're gonna kill yourself like Alex bro!' And then he gets his dick sucked on a bed made out of your money."

by Hym Iam April 08, 2024

Tooth infection that spread to my brain

Is why I feel drained. I took some antiseptic mouth wash and it ameliorated my symptoms by 30% overnight.

Hym "And if I could prescribe myself with antibiotics for the tooth infection that spread to my brain I wouldn't feel this way."

by Hym Iam June 20, 2025

Lion

Lion! Yes! Warrior lion. Very good. You get a cookie. Go buy yourself a cookie as a reward.

Hym "Yes, Lion. Very good. That's who I was talking about! You're still wrong. Your caricature of me is getting more accurate but it's like the Netflix adaptation of Cowboy Bebop. It would almost be good if it wasn't so bad. And you can tell the writer kind of tried to steer them towards not doing a bad job but they just did not want to listen. Which is not what you're doing to me because I am the correct one and am the writer here."

by Hym Iam February 27, 2023

The Devil

If you're The Devil, why would you come down here with us without superpowers or something? Where are your superpower?

Hym "Oh, I don't know, if I was The Devil I would want to prove that you would torture me forever if you could... Because it ain't hate that I feel for you, is it Jordan? What is it I feel for all of you? You can tell them. It's ok. And now I won't have to feel bad for you."

by Hym Iam March 31, 2023

I'll kill him if I see him

Ha! You'd better hurry up! You know? Cus you're not going to be able to see anything pretty soon here! Right!? Because of the deterioration!? Ahahahaha!

Dan Crenshaw "I'll kill him if I see him!"

Hym "Hahaha! Great! I'll probably start with you and DeSantis if I'm being honest so... Go ahead. Go kill him. You're running out of time. Saves me the trouble of doing it. Go forth Dan-Kun!"

by Hym Iam March 15, 2025